Rodger and Hammerstein's Cinderella
by nashie-chan
Summary: The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein’s plays. Much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to plan. UPDATE Chapter 5C.
1. 1A: 7 Guys, a Miko, and Pizza Place

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

- - -

Pre-Author's Note: Other than the obvious fact that this is no longer in script format, you'll notice that there are more chapters. That doesn't mean I've suddenly written a whole bunch of new chapters. No, it just means that, by request, I've shortened the chapters I've already have. There IS a new chapter in chapter five, so check that out. Once again, thanks for the patience and support.

Also, you notice that the rating has gone from PG-13 to R. Gomen nasai, but I think there are too many uses of a certain f-word and enough sexual innuendo to boost the rating.

So, once again, reviews would be _greatly_ appreciated, especially to make up for the many I had to delete, thanks to I don't get mad at people often, but when I do, there will be hell to pay.

- - -

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi. It belongs to Yuu Watase-sama and other people (like Bandai and some others I forgot the names to). Either way, the point is clear: it ain't mine. However, the characters of Bob, C-Guy, and Miku-chan are mine and are made purposely for this fanfic. Please don't take them, I like them, and I have a bad habit of not sharing.

I also would like to thank Teki-chan and Sake-chan for forever being by RPGing buddies, despite the fact that I must drive them up a wall with my annoying habits ever so often. You two are fabulous writers, and I glomp you very much.

Also, DJFiregirl, Silverscape, MidnightSun278, Dreamlessdays, and Ashley (even though you don't like anime), thanks for your cameos. Especially the bishonen-lovin' DJFiregirl. You are SO getting a bishie for your B-day. Plus, my brother and his weird friends…for just being weird.

And, because I'm the author AND the director, I would like to glomp onto all of my seishi, who I love so very much! Nuri-chan, I love you tons and tons and tons! Gen-chan, you're a pain in the gluteus maximus but still so glompable. Hotohori-sama, you are the hottest bishie ever to walk the face of the planet! Chichiri, no da, you are so KAWAII! Mits-san, you are mine and mine alone! Chiriko, so adorable and cute and sweet! Tama-baby, my Eco-Boy, if Miaka didn't claim you, I would! And Miaka, you can be annoying, but you're still so sweet.

Also, a very special thank you to Roku-san, who encouraged me to be original and awesome at the same time. With her story "Casting Stones", she inspired me to write Cinderella, and the other stories of this theatre series. I borrowed the format style from her (a mix of script and regular story writing), but as if of this revision, nothing else. (winks) Thank you very much, from the bottom of my heart.

-à-à-

CHAPTER 1:A – SEVEN GUYS, A MIKO, AND A PIZZA PLACE

Somewhere in the downtown district of Milwaukee, a long line of people is gathered outside the newly constructed Milwaukee Theatre, many of whom are surprisingly young and female (which makes one wonder what type of show is going on this night). Night has just fallen, and stars dot the black winter sky, shining down prospectively on the opening night of the most talked about musical since…well, since some other really talked about musical.

As always, Milwaukee weather is barely two degrees higher than freezing, and all the people in the crowd are dressed warmly in hats, scarves, and gloves. One particular young lady (whose only visible feature is her dark eyes amidst the layers of scarves, hats, and hoods) is standing near the front of the line, clutching a small Sony video camera that was probably very expensive, and muttering about the cold beneath her breath. This is MoonshadowJedi, a small, auburn-haired college student who has taken time from her busy schedule to come and participate in the play her friend nagged her about.

Fortunately for her, she is a close friend of the director's (and also the very important props manager) and is able to convince the doorman (who didn't recognize that she was the very important props manager) to let her in early. Envious looks are shot her way as she walks into the glamorously-decorated front lobby, but she ignores all of them and gives her ticket to one of the random worker people at the front desk.

MoonshadowJedi looks around at the near-empty lobby and sighs, beginning to take off her hats, scarves, and gloves, appreciating the comfortable temperature inside. At that moment, another young lady with a Renaissance princess hairstyle, wearing a headset with a mike, strides from a connecting hallway into the front lobby. She looks a tad bit annoyed and confused as she walks past MoonshadowJedi with scarcely a civil nod.

MoonshadowJedi hesitates, then begins waving her arms around wildly. "Um, hello? Hi!" The girl turns around at MoonshadowJedi's actions, and frowns, cocking her head to the side in a curious expression.

"Are you talking to me?"

MoonshadowJedi nods. "Yeah." She offers out her hand and shakes her hand with the brunette's, grinning happily. "I'm MoonshadowJedi, the prop manager. Have you seen Nashie around here anywhere?" The girl's brows knit together in an expression of concentration.

"MoonshadowJedi...oh, you're that girl she was talking about." She gestures behind her to the door she just walked from. "Nashie's backstage, trying to keep from having a nervous breakdown. Opening nights are terrible, especially when you're a first-time director." She grins mischievously.

The college student rolls her eyes. "You would think that her years in stage crew would have calmed her down." The girl nods in agreement, and then glances past the smaller young woman to glance out the door to where the crowd of people eagerly waits to be let inside.

"Wow," she murmurs in surprise, blue eyes widening. "What a big drawing tonight. I didn't know that this many people in Milwaukee liked Fushigi Yugi. Or maybe it's the Cinderella part of it." She shrugs and sighs. "It doesn't matter – Milwaukee is the boondocks of Wisconsin anyway..."

"How are all the thespians anyway?" asks MoonshadowJedi, amused at the thought of being in a boondocks city. Something about _The Beverly Hillbillies_ rolls through her mind, and she quickly shakes it out, wondering where such a random thought came from. She turns towards the door and prepares to leave the girl. _It's not that it wasn't a good show…it was actually funny sometimes…but still…oooh…why am I talking to myself…or thinking to myself…?_

Just as she snaps back to reality, the taller girl grimaces and wipes a loose strand of brown hair from her face. "I have a feeling it's going to be a long night for all of us. Nashie must be out of her mind. But I like Cinderella, so I guess we're all going to have to wing it and suffer." MoonshadowJedi flinches at the word 'suffer' – she already had enough problems in college, she didn't need anything like the plays and musicals from high school to up her stress level.

MoonshadowJedi looks down at the video camera and flips the switch on, before bringing it up to her face, glancing around the lobby again in approval. "I'm going to be recording everything that goes on backstage tonight. We never did get footage like that in the high school plays." _Though I wish we had…sometimes the funniest things happened backstage…_ "How do you get backstage anyway? Nashie made me props manager, but this is the first time I've been to the theatre." The girl spun on her heel and pointed down the hallway she had just come from.

"Go all the way down the hallway until you run into some double doors at the bottom of a little staircase," she explains thoroughly. "You can't miss it. A tall guy with dark hair should be sitting on the steps. He has a cat with him." She begins walking away to the opposite hallway and turns so that she's walking backwards and still facing MoonshadowJedi. "Oh, by the way, the password is 'Suzaku Seishi are the coolest seishi ever to walk the face of the planet and if you even think about arguing against it, I will have Nuriko punch you through the nearest wall'."

MoonshadowJedi manages a decent facefault. "Say what?" The girl grins.

"Nashie's idea." MoonshadowJedi blinks, and sighs. _Who else would think of something like that? Nashie hasn't changed one bit…_

To the girl, she calls out, "Thank you!" A pause. "By the way, what's your name?"

Just before the young woman disappears through the double doors, she winks and offers a final wave. "I'm Teki-chan, the light goddess. Ja ne!" And with that, she's gone.

"I'll see you later then," MoonshadowJedi murmurs to herself as she turns the camera to face her. "Well, I guess that's the start of the musical for tonight. Um...the musical, by the way, is Rodger and Hammerstein's _Cinderella_ – the updated one that was on the Wonderful World of Disney. Nashie, I think, has an affinity for faerie tales." She wrinkles her nose. "Especially Disney faerie tales that involve singing. Now all I have to do is find the really tall guy with a cat, and remember that silly password." She pauses, thinking for a second. "Oh, and since I know you'll be watching this Nashie, you need serious, _serious_ mental help."

MoonshadowJedi keeps the camera rolling as she slowly jogs down the brightly lit, red-carpeted marble and gold hallways of the theatre, looking out for a tall guy with a cat. The hallways are deserted except for a few janitors doing a few last minute dusting and vacuuming tasks. MoonshadowJedi waves to a few of them, encouraging them to wave back to the camera she's holding. Some smile shyly and do so, while others stare stonily at their job (and are therefore of no importance as they OBVIOUSLY have attitude problems).

Finally, the hallway comes to an end, with a spiral staircase leading up to the next level on the left side of the corridor. To the right are a few steps downwards leading to plain doubles door that strictly say: CREW ONLY. Beneath that is a hand-written sign that says: OR THE PIZZA GUY in large Hi-Liter orange letters. There's no sign of the tall guy or the cat.

MoonshadowJedi descends the steps and knocks on the door when finding that it's locked. For a few moments, she stands there, shifting from one foot to the other, waiting for someone to open the door for her. Finally, from the other side, she hears yelling.

"IS THAT THE PIZZA GUY?"

MoonshadowJedi shakes her head, even though no one can see her. The camera shakes back and forth along with the movement of her head. "No! It's me! The prop manager! Let me in!"

There is the sound of muffled whispering on the other side of the door, and finally the door creaks open slightly, and MoonshadowJedi catches a glimpse of pale pink hair and a big grey eye that blinks at seeing her. MoonshadowJedi has no idea who the person is, as stage crew is relatively small, and none of the main characters has pale pink hair and grey eyes.

MoonshadowJedi blinks and scratches behind her head nervously. "If you don't believe me, ask the director." The door opens slightly more, revealing the short stature of the pink-haired girl, whose wearing the customary black of stage crew, including a baseball cap that looks a little too large for her head. The girl is Miku, the assistant light manager. She peers up at MoonshadowJedi and seems to be contemplating whether or not to let her in. The young woman groans. "Really! I'm the prop manager!"

Nothing from Miku who just contemplates MoonshadowJedi with a long, serious look. The older girl fidgets under the gaze, wondering who in the world taught the girl to glare like that. _Someone's been spending too much time around the fellows…_ "Why else would I be back here?" Miku gestures to the camera, and frowns disapprovingly. "Nashie asked me to bring it along." A pause, and then MoonshadowJedi cocks her head to the side. "Don't you talk?"

Miku shakes her head.

"Ooookay…then who asked the question earlier?"

Miku points behind her. MoonshadowJedi peers behind the silent girl, and into the dimly lit recesses of the backstage area. But she doesn't see anything, and raises an eyebrow at the girl questioningly.

Suddenly, a grinning face appears out of nowhere, like a huge apparition with no body that would strike terror even into the bravest of souls (yes, even including Indiana Jones). MoonshadowJedi yelps, and falls backwards onto the steps, as Nashie steps out from the shadows, patting Miku on the head. Miku gives MoonshadowJedi an odd look before shrugging and turning to disappear into the backstage shadows.

Meanwhile, Nashie has launched herself at MoonshadowJedi (who is around three heartbeats away from cardiac arrest) with her world famous Glomp™ and is cutting off her friend's circulation and breathing. MoonshadowJedi, turning a wonderful shade of blue (more like a pale lavender, but it's closer to blue…or more of a cerulean...a light cerulean, which, by the way, is Nashie's all-time favourite color), taps Nashie on the head. Nashie pulls away, still grinning like a madwoman. The oh-so-lovable director is another of the tall bunch, dark-skinned and green-eyed, wearing the customary black of stage crew (though her T-shirt says I AM THE DIRECOR, BOW BEFORE ME in white Broadway style letters). A headset with a mike and a black ski-knit cap, all slightly askew from the force of the hug, adorn her head, the matching scarf to the cap twirled around her neck.

"MoonshadowJedi, I thought you'd never get here! It's only an hour before the show! And everyone isn't in costumes and make-up yet! We have some people hoggin' the Nyan-Nyans, and Gen-chan is refusing to play his part, and Miaka-chan ate our last pumpkin, and the mice are loose, and...and..."

MoonshadowJedi stops to admire Nashie's lung capacity before replying, "Breathe, girl! We can't have the director passing out on us. Now tell me, where is the rest of stage crew?" Nashie blinks and then takes in a deep breath, calming herself down and closing her eyes.

"Mits-san had a headache, so he came out here with Tama-neko. Chiriko went with Bob to go buy another pumpkin. Sake-chan is down in the pit, messing with the sound arrangements and orchestra, and C-Guy is there with her. Miku's right here and Chichiri is changing into his costume. That's all we have for stage crew, y'know?" She bites her lip nervously. "I don't think I have enough people working the floor. It's only me, Mits-san, Chiriko, and you. Bob is with the rigging and Chichiri has to worry about his part…MJ, I think we're in trouble."

"We're not in trouble…yet. You've been in stage crew long enough to know that major disasters can always be diverted. Now let's see." She begins ticking off her fingers. "So, it's me, and you, and Mitsukake, and Chiriko, and Bob, and Sake-chan, and Teki-chan, and C-Guy, and Miku, and Chichiri. Nine people isn't too bad." MoonshadowJedi shakes her head and offers a cheerful smile and hug. "We're going to be alright, Nashie-chan! And even if we aren't, we can always look back on this and laugh!" She holds up the camera, which was surprisingly not damaged in the Glomp™. Almost immediately, Nashie's eyes light up.

"You brought it! Yea!" She begins to usher MoonshadowJedi into the backstage hallway. "C'mon, c'mon. You have to meet our cast! And didja see the set yet? It's beautiful! And the costumes? Wow!" She grabs MoonshadowJedi's arms and drags her into the mysterious backstage area, chatting the entire way, with the camera still rolling.

-à-à-

Meanwhile, back out in the lobby, two people stroll in from the cold, and begin to discard their coats, glad that Nashie at least made sure the theatre was nice and toasty for all the fans. One of the two is none other than Chiriko, who is holding a pumpkin half as tall as he is, and looking like he's having trouble managing it. The other of the two is taller and devastatingly handsome with wavy dark hair, deep brown eyes, and an easygoing, lopsided smile. This is Bob, the director's (and every other female member in the crew)'s eye candy, who also happens to attend to the rigging and other mechanics of the stage.

Chiriko shivers as he places his coat on top of the pumpkin. "Bob-san, this pumpkin is rather unwieldy. Shouldn't we see if we can get Mitsukake to assist us?" Bob smiled, draping his jacket over his arm.

"We'll have to find him first," he replies in a charming Scottish brogue. "However, let's see how far we can get it without the help." Chiriko glances at the pumpkin and smiles happily.

"I'm glad we got one so large! Miaka will never be able to eat this entire thing by herself." He paused. _Though I should never put anything past her capabilities…_

Bob nods in agreement. "Hopefully, this will distract her." He gestures to the bag of Krispy Kremes, chocolate bars, vanilla ice cream, Popsicles, Sobe drinks, and other various goodies that would make even the game of Candy Land seem healthy. "Either that, or destroy all of her teeth." Chiriko laughs and then turns to the pumpkin, grimacing as he starts to roll it down the hallway.

"How much time do we have, Bob-san?"

"Almost an hour. It's 7:03, now."

Unbeknownst to Bob and Chiriko, a couple more of the director's special guests walk into the lobby, much to the doorman's dismay and the ticket guy's chagrin. The short pretty blonde and the tall dark-haired girl look around at the surroundings in amazed approval, wondering where in the world Nashie was able to find the money to rent such luxurious surroundings. The redhead with a crossed look on her face has a camera dangling from her hand, looking around for bishonen, of which she has yet to see. The last two of the group straggle behind, one of them muttering darkly under her breath.

This group of five youngsters is all Nashie's fellow classmates whom she somehow dragged into coming to watch the show. For some, it was a firm definite 'yes', but for others...

"I don't even LIKE anime," one of the girls mutters angrily. Her name is Ashley, and true to her previous comment, isn't exactly the _biggest_ fan of Japanese animation. (It's a wonder she and Nashie, as best friends, don't argue about it more than they do). "Cinderella, yes. Anime, no. _Why_ am I even here?"

"Because it's Nashie's opening night, and we all want to be there to support her, right?" the tall girl, Silverscape, replies. "Though I'm a little peeved at her because she didn't ask me to help with the costumes. I AM on costume crew after all." The redhead, however, is freaking out big time, shifting from one foot to the next in agitation and swinging her camera wildly. It seems as if a DJFiregirl Rant™ is about to begin.

"What about me? Hell, there's a ton of bishonen backstage, and she can't even invite me to glomp onto _one_ of them!" This continues on for about two minutes until the small blonde, MidnightSun278, interrupts in her quiet, melancholy voice.

"She has to remain professional." Silverscape rolls her eyes.

"Professional? We're putting Nashie backstage with a bunch of bishonen and you expect her to remain professional?"

"I've got better things to do than to waste my time here." Ashley, of course. DJFiregirl has something to say about this nonchalant attitude…of course.

"It's not a waste of time. We've got some HOT guys backstage, and you want to leave? Are you fuckin' insane?" She launches into a new tirade as she and Ashley squabble over the bishonen backstage. MidnighSun278 and Silverscape discreetly pretend not to know them.

As the group of girls argues, the only male in the group, Dreamlessdays, sighs and shakes his head, and continues to silently chew his beloved honey bun, his nose buried in his edition of _Sabriel_. The bulge in his conspicuously large backpack is obviously where at least a thousand more delectably delicious delights are stored.

Oi vay.

-à-à-

MoonshadowJedi has been following Nashie in the dark hallways of the wings of the stage, glad that the video camera came supplied with its own light. The director seems to be ignoring the light, knowing every step, and every nook and cranny of the narrow hallways. The only lights on, despite the fact that show wouldn't be starting until eight, are black lights, which cast an eerie violet glow to the two figures as they march down the black-carpeted hallway.

Suddenly, Nashie pauses in front of a door that bluntly reads, MAIN MAKE-UP ROOM. She grins, swings the door open, and MoonshadowJedi finds herself nearly blinded from the soft glow of the lights from inside. She blinks rapidly to clear away the stinging tears and steps into the room, camera still rolling.

The room itself is quaintly small and cozy looking, with deep red colored walls covered in posters from all of Nashie's favourite movies (_Titanic_, _Pirates of the Caribbean_, _X2: X-Men United_, _Ever After_, _Pearl Harbor_, _Beauty and the Beast_, etc., etc.). Sturdy wooden tables surround the perimeter of the room, with a row of mirrors edging along the black wall, reflecting the area of the room and making it appear larger than it actually is. Chairs lay scattered everywhere in the room, only a few of them pushed under the tables, which are laden with various stage make-up, empty fast food bags, and scripts. Across the chairs lay various props, and bits and pieces of people's costumes.

That isn't the disturbing part – the disturbing part is all the aqua-green haired little girls hopping around the room, chattering and giggling as they jump from one person to the next doing make-up.

The figures who were disposed to getting their make-up done are currently paging through magazines, looking over their scripts, drinking lemon-water (a remedy for singing throats, Nashie always says), or yelling their brains out at one another over their disgust over their parts. At least, a certain seishi was doing so…

MoonshadowJedi looks flabbergasted at the chaotic scene. "How many sets of quintuplets are in here?" She turns to Nashie, who is examining a sheet of paper posted on the wall that has the list of acts and scenes printed on it. The taller girl turns to her friend, and grins.

"What are you talking about? Those are Taiitsukun's Nyan-Nyans. She let us borrow them. It's a lot cheaper than hiring an entire make-up crew to do it for ya." She winks as one of the Nyan-Nyans jumps in front of MoonshadowJedi, waving a makeup brush in front of her face wildly.

"I make you pretty! I make you look cool!"

At this moment, the one actor who was loudly complaining whirls on Nashie, red-gold hair flying into amber-colored eyes that look ready to turn the director into the next living s'more. Nashie blinks large eyes, and tries to look as innocent as possible, knowing already what he's nitpicking about. "What's up, Gen-chan?" The seishi glares at Nashie darkly.

"I've got a bone to pick with ya!" He begins waving the script in front of her face. "Why in the world do I gotta do this shit, huh? I don't want this part anymore than you want to be stuck in a room full of damn bees!" Nashie sighs, and rolls her eyes heavenward. MoonshadowJedi believes that this probably isn't the first time they've been in an argument like this.

"We've been through this a zillion and one times," comes the polite, if forceful, answer. "I thought you'd be _perfect_ for the part. Besides, I assigned it to you for comical reasons."

"I ain't laughin'." Nashie ignores him and turns to MoonshadowJedi, a bright grin on her face as the seishi turns an interesting shade of red from having been ignored.

"MJ, meet Gen-chan, otherwise known as Suzaku no Shichiseishi Tasuki." She winks. "He's our faerie godmother." MoonshadowJedi chokes out a laugh as Tasuki's angry red turns into crimson embarrassment.

"I ain't no fuckin' faerie godmother! I ain't playin' the part of no woman!" A snort of amusement causes MoonshadowJedi to turn her head to wear a handsome young man is sitting, grey eyes flashing wickedly. Tasuki also turns to where one of his best friends is sitting and glares bullets.

"You've got the whining part down," Tamahome teases, turning back to his script, a smirk on his face. "All you need is the pink tutu and faerie dust."

"Shaddup!" snarls Tasuki, his hands curling into fists. He turns to Nashie, golden eyes blazing like some wronged vengeful god. "Why didn't you cast Nuriko or Yui as the faerie godmother, huh?" A violet-haired androgynous youth spins in front of the mirror before turning to face the group, a cheerful smile on pixie-like features. MoonshadowJedi blinks. _Okay…talk about intimidating looks…she's _really_ pretty…_

Nuriko waves an objecting finger at Tasuki. "Because it's obvious that someone with my charms is more suited to play the role of the Queen. Plus, Hotohori-sama and I make the cuter couple." MoonshadowJedi frowns as the seishi swoons, and turns towards Nashie, a completely dumbfounded and worried look on her face.

"_This_ is what you have to work with?" At Nashie's nod, MoonshadowJedi shivers. "I'd be scared if I were you." Nashie winces as well, ignoring the deadpan looks some of the cast sends her way.

"I already am." She looks around the makeup room, stretching her limbs before stopping in midstretch, blinking green eyes. "Um, where's Subaru? She's supposed to be getting her make-up done too…" The director begins to shift nervously, wringing her hands and starting to speed up her talking. "She's the stepmother! We can't possibly pull this play off without her! And where's Yui for that matter? Where are all the evil people?"

This time, it isn't MoonshadowJedi who jumps in to calm down the panicking director. Rather, a handsome blue-haired young man with an eternally cheerful face looks up from his script and offers Nashie a jovial grin. "Calm down, no da! I'm sure they're around here somewhere – I saw them just a few minutes ago, na no da." He frowns slightly. "Yui said she had to take care of some...uh...female matters...no da." The room goes quiet as MoonshadowJedi and Nashie share a look before Nashie lets out a frustrated groan, banging her head against the wall.

"I _HATE_ that time of the month!" She turns to the gathered cast and MoonshadowJedi. "Does anyone here have some Tylenol or Advil? Midol? Pepto? Anything?"

Just as MoonshadowJedi shakes her head, the door to the make-up room swings open again to reveal two more members of stage crew. The girl of the group is dark-skinned, with a cute pageboy cut, and a wicked gleam in her eye that seems to match the saying on her shirt: I COOL, YOU NOT. Standing next to her is a man of an indiscernible age of obvious Latino heritage, wearing a black jumpsuit, windbreaker, and a cap pulled low over his eyes. The girl is Sake-chan, sound manager, and the man is C-Guy, sound assistant.

Nashie's eyes widen as she sidles up to Sake, a smirk appearing on her face. "Wazzuuuuup, Sake-chaaaaan?"

"Wazzuuuuup, Nashie-chaaaaan?" comes the distinct reply. They both throw gangsta signs at each other – or at least, what they perceive to be gangsta signs, and do the sliding-grip handshake before bursting out into laughter. Everyone else is the room chooses to ignore them.

"What are you doing here?" Nashie asks. "Is there something wrong with the sound?" Sake waves her hands in front of her face, shaking her head as she does so.

"Nope. Nothing at all. Just came down here to rest a bit before the show started. Plus C-Guy was tired of fumbling with all the switches. And..." She gestures to her partner, who pulls a box marked 'mikes' from his windbreak. "we need to get the actors set up with these mikes-"

"¡Claro que si! Me ayudo."

Nashie sighs and turns to MoonshadowJedi as Sake berates C-Guy for interrupting her. "C-Guy only speaks Spanish. Let Sake-chan deal with him, as I can never understand a word he's saying either." MoonshadowJedi nods in understanding, before frowning.

"He knows NO English?" Nashie winces.

"Well, he does know one phrase..."

"It's your own fault," admonishes Sake as she fumbles with a mike from a still grumbling Tasuki. "You should never have lost your temper during rehearsal that one day." A confused MoonshadowJedi gives Nashie, who is clearly embarrassed, a look.

"What was it?"

Nashie doesn't want to alert C-Guy of his favourite phrase, so she scoots up next to MoonshadowJedi and ducks her head as close to her friend's ear as comfortably and non-sexually as possible. She looks cautiously at C-Guy before whispering, "You're fired."

Well, the universe has an odd way of working, and usually, if you won't want somebody to hear something, they almost always will. Somehow, by an odd magical force current in the air, C-Guy is able to hear the quiet mutterings, and his brown eyes light up. He suddenly points at the nearest seishi, Hotohori, and grins.

"YOU FIRED!" An indignant look appears on the emperor's face.

"You dare have the presumptuousness to tell me, the Emperor of Konan, that I'm fired?" comes the heated reply, but C-Guy has already moved onto his next person, Tamahome.

"YOU FIRED!" Nashie groans and covers her ears.

"Great! There he goes again! Sake-chan, shut him up!"

"YOU FIRED!"

Sake, who is still wrestling with the mike on Tasuki, glares. "I'd love to, but once he starts, it's kinda hard to shut him up." She taps Tasuki on the shoulder. "Where are your wings?"

"I ain't wearin' no fuckin' wings!"

"Yes, you are, Gen-chan," Nashie shouts over C-Guy's hollering. "It's part of the costume I bought with my own money – my own hard-earned money, might I add – and you will wear it whether you like it or not. And if anyone opens their mouth to complain about another costume, I'm going to tie you to the ceiling. Upside-down." She pauses and a sudden uncharacteristic ecchi grin appears on her face. "Naked." The stunned silence this brings only amplifies C-Guy's yelling.

"YOU FIRED!"

"Ya pervert!" Tasuki manages to ground out. Sake swoons at Nashie's statement.

"But that's not really a punishment." She and Nashie both nod their heads, and go into full fangirl mode, complete with the twinkling eyes and the bubbles floating around them. Everyone else in the room sweatdrops.

Tasuki wrinkles his nose. "Yer both sick."

As Nashie and Sake swoon over mental images of certain…ahem, _intriguing_…portions of bishonen anatomy, MoonshadowJedi looks around the room, panning over the faces of the actors in the room, nodding in approval that all of them were indeed either beautiful or handsome. She blushes when she realizes that all of this is going to be on tape, and hopes that her family never catches hold of this video.

"Nashie," she asks after a moment, "who's playing the second stepsister?" This snaps Nashie out of her reverie and she blushes, scratching behind her head.

"Uh...I'd love to tell, but I honestly don't know. See, the one thing about a bishonen anime...you run out of girls too quickly." She makes a face. "And I certainly wasn't about to ask Soi to help! I think we might end up putting a Nyan-Nyan. I mean, I can't think of anyone else."

"You probably could, but were too cheap to hire that person," Tamahome interjects, looking up from his script. Nashie glares at him.

"Look who's talking, Tama-chan!" Tamahome bristles.

"I'm not cheap!" A proud look appears on his face. "I'm conservative!"

"You're cheaper than a raggedy hand-me down or a generic McDonald's Big Mac!"

"I am not!"

"You are too!"

A whistle silences both of them and they turn to Sake, who removes her fingers from her mouth, placing her fists on her hips. "_Both_ of you are cheapskates, and that's the end of THAT conversation." She finishes putting the body mike on Tasuki, and adjusts the mike in the front so that it's as inconspicuous as possible. "Now, don't yell into it. Talk in your regular voice, only project when you're singing. There's a switch on the little box back here. Make sure someone turns it on before you go on stage, alright? And that goes for all of you too. These things are only on when you're on stage – I don't want to risk the audience hearing some the conversations that go on back here!"

"YOU FIRED!"

Hotohori frowns slightly. "I'm sure there will be some mature decorum while we're awaiting our scenes." Nuriko glares at the other seishi, hands on his hips.

"Listen to Hotohori-sama. He knows what he's talking about." The other members in the group sweatdrops. MoonshadowJedi rolls her eyes. _Geez, she sure has a thing for this Hotohori guy…_

"YOU FIRED!" He pauses at the unnatural silence. "Silencio. ¿Que pasa, Sake?" Sake shakes her head.

"Nada." She turns back to Nashie and MoonshadowJedi. "Hey, guys. I'll be right back. I'm going to go see if the pizza guy showed up yet." She wrinkles her nose. "I hope you have the money to pay him. We ordered, like, ten pizzas."

Nashie snorts. "That's all because SOMEONE has the hugest appetite ever on the face of the planet. Five of those are going to our leading lady, y'know?" At this moment, Chichiri stands up, placing his script on his chair and adjusting the jacket of his costume. MoonshadowJedi blinks. When he was sitting down, he looked much taller than he really was…in fact, she could have sworn Nashie may have been taller than him.

"Out of curiosity..." the blue-haired monk begins, catching Nashie's gaze, "where is our leading lady anyway, no da?"

"Miaka-chan's missing?" Nashie asks, frowning and biting her lower lip in concentration. "I hope she's not sick. She ate that entire pumpkin..." She trails off as the headset suddenly crackles to life loudly. She winces and quickly turns down the volume. "Who's there...Teki-chan! Where are you...all the way up there...Miku-chan's with you, right...Oh...okay, send him down to this all...thanks, Teki..." She grins, turning to the assembled cast members. "Hey, good news. The pizza's here."

"I bet you didn't order enough for the chorus." Tamahome gives Nashie a playful, yet somehow wicked wink. Nashie returns the favour by flipping him off.

"I ordered Chinese food for them, smart-ass," she responds with a grin. "Orange chicken, fried rice, egg roles, moo goo gai pan...hopefully, your girlfriend didn't get to it before they did." Nuriko rolls his eyes at Tamahome and Nashie's antics and walks towards the door, smoothing out the skirt part of the dress he's wearing.

"Maybe we should tie her up," he says cheerfully. "So...who's coming with me to go get those pizzas?" Nashie makes a face at him, storming right over and shoving the smaller seishi right back down in his seat. She immediately crosses her arms and waves an impertinent finger at Nuriko, who glares at Nashie and looks like he's trying to decide whether to blow a raspberry or punch Nashie square in the jaw for pushing him around.

Nashie solves this problem by suddenly winking cheekily. "Uh-uh. You are NOT going, and ending up getting pizza grease all over that lovely dress of yours." A snort. "Plus, you're nearly as bad as Miaka when it comes to food."

"I am NOT!"

"You are too! Now hush up and stay in here." Nuriko decides to give in, and childishly blows a raspberry at Nashie who just smirks and returns the favour. Sake rolls her eyes at the antics, and spins on her heel to leave, grabbing a fistful of C-Guy's windbreaker as she passes.

"_I'll_ go get it! It can't be that bad!" She mutters something incoherent about childish people and Corn Flakes before vanishing out the door. "¡Vamos, C-Guy!"

As soon as they are gone, Nashie flicks the on button on her headset. "Mitsukake-san, are you there? I'm going to need some help in around twenty minutes, with adding the finishing touches to the set. They're going to start letting the people in at 7:30, and it's going to be chaos from there." A pause and then a nod. "Okay. Thanks. This is Nashie, over and out." Tasuki snorts.

"What are ya, some sorta radio broadcaster?" Nashie rolls her eyes and manages not to ground Tasuki into the ground with her stare.

"Shut _up_, Tasuki." An evil grin suddenly appears on her face and she bats innocent eyes at her friend. "You're definitely going to need those wings."

Tasuki fumes and turns an interesting shade of red. "I ain't wearin' no wings!"

"You'll look like Cupid!" Nashie ignores him, gushing on. "All those sparkly golden wings, you'll like a li'l angel!" Her eyes sparkle as she imagines her second favourite seishi surrounded by pixie dust, causing the seishi in question to get even angrier.

"I hate women!" Of course, such an enthusiastic statement requires the input of a certain okane-loving seishi, who seems quite...with his best friend's discomfort.

"Too bad. You seem to be crawling with them."

"I didn't ask your fuckin' opinion!"

"Why you…!"

The blue-haired seishi leaps at his brother seishi, and soon a dust-cloud scuffle erupts on the opposite side the room, knocking over chairs and sending make-up flying. Nashie watches with a blank face, a small tic starting to appearing in her left cheek. Her hands curl into fists, and suddenly, a hush falls over the remaining seishi and the Nyan-Nyans in the room.

With a resounding boom, Nashie pulls out her Big Stuffed Fish™ and holds is threateningly in her hand, fire burning in her eyes. The seishi not involved with the fight wisely step away from the infuriated director as she marches over to the two brawling seishi, a look of murder in her eyes.

THWUMP! THWUMP!

A moment later, two unconscious seishi lay sprawled on the floor, both of them still with their hands around the others' neck. Fortunately for Nashie, she has managed to step in just before they could do any lasting harm to the very expensive, very delicate costumes.

"Anyone else care to fight?" Nashie growls, holding the Big Stuffed Fish™ threateningly. Hotohori glances over at Tasuki and Tamahome.

"Was it necessary to knock them both senseless?" Nuriko looks at the two younger teenagers and then at Nashie and sighs, crossing his heart.

"We solemnly swear not to ignite your temper, Supreme Director."

Nashie grins and flashes a V-sign. "Don't worry, Nuri-chan. You're my favourite seishi, so I won't let any harm come to you."

MoonshadowJedi frowns. "But you like Tasuki too, and look what you did to him."

"And you have a habit of torturing your favourite characters, na no da," adds Chichiri, cocking his head to the side. "Remember _Escape from the Moon_, no da?" At these words, Nuriko turns very pale and gives Nashie a terrified, wide-eyed look. But Nashie doesn't seem to notice and waves her hand carelessly to dismiss the accusations.

"Oh, that's all in the past!" she chirps. "I would never dream about hurting my beloved Nuri-chan! And Gen-chan had that one coming! These costumes were very expensive." She turns to leave, chuckling under her breath. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go and find Bob and Chiriko. They should be back with that pumpkin by now. Nyan-Nyans, get Gen-chan and Tama-chan cleaned up with their make-up. And Chichiri, please find Miaka, Yui, and Subaru, as you're the only one completely ready."

"Daaaa!"

Nashie gives the older youth a stern mother look. "And none of those while singing! We can't afford to add 'no da' to the beat of the music, okay?" Chichiri smiles and nods and Nashie can't help but do the same – Chichiri's smile is so infectious. "MoonshadowJedi, if Mitsukake gets back here before I do, tell him that I need his help moving a few things around the set for some last minute details, okay?"

MoonshadowJedi shrugs. "Sure. Why not? "

Just as Nashie turns to exit the make-up room, her headset crackles to life.

"Hey, Nashie," a familiar voice pipes up. "Um, we have some people here saying that they're special guests of yours." Nashie frowns. What in the world could Teki be talking about?

"Special guests? Is it a group of guys or a group of people around my age?"

"Kind of...three guys, two girls...one with a really cool looking sword...the usual. They said that you invited them at the last minute, and the guy's being all sweet and nice about it."

"Last minute...oh!" She slaps forehead and giggles a bit dimly. "I know who you're talking about! Tell 'em I'll be right down to show 'em to their seats, okay? Keep them busy for me." Teki groans from the other end of the headset and Nashie can imagine her exasperated face.

"Alright. But if this guy brings out the sword and starts whapping people with it, I'm booking it outta here."

Nashie lets out a goofy grin at the comment (knowing of course that the young man in question would never pull out a sword on an innocent crowd) before scanning the room in one more quick check before nodding her head – everything is as she wants it to be, and she turns on her heel to leave.

As soon as Nashie is gone, MoonshadowJedi turns to glance at the gathering of seishi with a resolute sigh in her head. Something had told her not to leave the college campus – why hadn't she listened to the tiny voice of wisdom all those months ago? She shifts her weight from one foot to the next, and finally plops down next to Hotohori and Nuriko, recording.

"Soooo..." she drawls. "You guys are King Max and Queen Constantina, right?" Nuriko waves to the camera, glomping onto Hotohori's arm.

"Yes, and that makes me HIS wife." MoonshadowJedi struggles not to sweatdrop as Hotohori peers at the small recording device curiously.

"Is that recording me from my best angle?"

"All your angles are best angles," Nuriko happily puts in.

"True." MoonshadowJedi looks across from her to where the nearest wall is. _If I bang my head against that a couple of times, maybe they'll all just fade away...like the dream I had about the donuts eating the police officers...why am I thinking about that dream anyway...?_

"You're Nashie's friend from high school, right?" Nuriko suddenly asks, a friendly expression on his face. "We haven't even been properly introduced yet. I'm Chou Ryuuen." Hotohori bows politely in MoonshadowJedi's direction, and the college student blushes slightly (_why can't the guys at high school be like him?_).

"And I am ruler of Konan, Emperor Saiheiti." _This_ stops MoonshadowJedi cold, and it takes her a few moments before she can pick her jaw up from the ground where it has almost disgracefully dropped. She opens her mouth to say something and then closes again, a flurry of thoughts flying through her head.

"You're an emperor?" she finally squeals out, vaguely aware that Hotohori nods. _Nashie got an emperor to play a king? What in the world is she thinking?_

The door opens for the third time in ten minutes, and in walks a petite, cute young woman with wavy auburn hair and big green eyes. It's the star of show, Yuki Miaka, holding a bag that looks noticeably like the one Bob had been holding earlier in the lobby. She currently holds the box of Krispy Kremes in her hand, her mouth already filled with two of the deliciously savory and sweet donuts. She holds out the box to the rest of the cast and managed a smile.

"Hewwo! Won sum?" Chichiri glances over and smiles.

"Glad you're here Miaka, no da. But are those Krispy Kremes?" The priestess of Suzaku nods and smiles before popping another donut in her mouth.

"Hai!"

For the briefest of seconds, Chichiri, Hotohori, and Nuriko share wary glances. Then, with the natural speed that comes with being a seishi, the room is suddenly short three Celestial Warriors, leaving behind only a baffled MoonshadowJedi, protesting Nyan-Nyans, a blinking Miaka, and two unconscious seventeen-year-olds. The camera, as advanced and expensive as it is, did not even catch the departure of the three seishi, only that they were there one second and gone the next. _What was that all about_, Moonshadow Jedi wonders.

Her question is soon answered as Nashie stumbles back into the room, her pupils dilated and staring intently at the box of Krispy Kremes in Miaka's hand. She looks possessed, and MoonshadowJedi nearly drops her camera in shock.

"Give...me...the...donuts..." Miaka's eyes widen and she protectively huddles over the donuts like a mother hen.

"Why?"

"Don't...ask...questions...just...hand...them...over..." Miaka looks at the deranged look in Nashie's eye and decides that perhaps she should be worried, and an expression akin to fear appears on her face.

"Tamahome!" she wails. Unfortunately for her, her usual swashbuckling savior is lying behind her, on the floor, unconscious, still trying to clear all the pretty birdies out of his head. Miaka looks around for any of her seishi, finds that the only two available are comatose, and realizes that she's in very deep this time. She stuffs the donuts back into the bag, a frightful look appearing on her face as she seems to concentrate on something. And then…

"TAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The shout is the equivalent of a sonic boom, and every mirror in the make-up room shatters into a gazillion shards, so tiny that they literally turn to dust. The ground shakes viciously, knocking a stunned and now temporarily deaf MoonshadowJedi to the ground as she cradles the video camera in hopes of saving it from the ear-piercing screech. The Nyan-Nyans all yelp and cry out at the same time before disappearing in poofs of pink smoke. Nashie, eyes still glued to the Krispy Kremes, is unaffected.

Not the same can be said for Tamahome and Tasuki, who are wrenched from their whapping fish-induced sleep in the same way one would be woken up from a coma by means of an electric shock. Tasuki clamps his hands over his ears, and, with the speed his seishi powers are known for, bolts for the door, leaving only the unfortunate Tamahome to deal with his shattered eardrums.

Finally, the screech comes to a desirable end – Miaka has run out of breath.

Nashie blinks, and the manic look in her eyes fades away as she shrugs. "I just wanted some donuts. Oh, well. I'll ask Bob to go get me some." She strolls out of the room, oblivious to a twitching Tamahome and MoonshadowJedi. Miaka rushes over to Tamahome and hugs him, ignoring her love's swirly eyes.

"Tamahome!"

"Duh..."

"Tamahome!"

"Duh..."

MoonshadowJedi, still twitching on the floor, turns to face her camera, which, amazingly, is still working. She manages a weak grimace before waving cautiously at the still rolling tape.

"Why did I volunteer for this again?" she manages to mutter. "Gah...this is not what I want people to see..." She reaches for the camera and turns it off.

-à-à-

Nashie jogs down the hallway and emerges into the lobby, which is already becoming filled with perspective theatregoers. She exchanges greetings with a few that she knows before glimpsing a small cluster of fans surrounding something she cannot she. A frown works its way onto her face, and she hurries over, trying to see what all the fuss is about.

"Okay, people. Break it up. Show's in the theatre, not the lobby. C'mon, lets go find your seats."

She pulls and prods people away until they dissipate, grumbling as they move inside the hall to find their seats. She turns back to the object...that is, objects...of the crowd, a wide smile on her face.

"Ah, what would you ever do without your fans?"

A small, youthful-looking man with brick red hair tied back into a low ponytail dusts off his clothing as he gives the director a thankful smile. The pretty girl standing next to him has her arms crossed her chest, looking quite irritated that other females had laid a hand on her man.

"Arigato gozaimasu, Nashie-san," Kenshin says with a polite bow. "Those young women were certainly forward in their greetings, de gozaru ka." Nashie grins at him and gives him a noogie.

"Anything for my favourite wandering samurai." Kaoru wrinkles her nose and crosses her arms, glaring as Nashie toys with her love interest.

"Are we going to be attacked like that everywhere we go tonight?" she asks sharply. Yahiko grins at the young woman, looking every inch the mischievous teenager.

"No – that would just be Kenshin. He is after all the girl-magnet of the group."

"Oro...?" An angered Kaoru takes once glance at the confused Kenshin and then smacks Yahiko in the back of the head.

"Shut up, Yahiko! You don't know what you're talking about!"

Nashie decidedly ignores the two as they argue over a confused Kenshin and turns to the remaining two members of the group – a tall, handsome man with a grudging look on his face and a beautiful Japanese woman wearing a fitted red and black kimono, who watches Kenshin with a playful intentness on her features.

"Hey, guys," she says with a wave. She gestures to where Kaoru is still yelling at Yahiko and winces. "Um...are you sure you wanna sit with them? I can get some other seats for you, if you want."

"I don't even wanna be here…" Sano grumbles. "The brat and the hussy made me come." Megumi laughs, though there is a bit of an edge in it as she cuts her eyes to Sano's slouched form.

"Well, I couldn't very well leave Kenshin-sama in the hands of that poor, skinny little girl over there. And you came because Kaoru didn't want you spending your night in down getting drunk and gambling." She pokes Sano with a lighthearted finger. "See? You're already in a bad mood."

"Whatever." Nashie rolls her eyes.

"Well...you guys are in luck! No more attacks from fangirls…or fanboys. You are in the balcony seats across from my other special groups of invites. Sounds fun, eh?" Megumi nods.

"Thrilling!" Kenshin offers a brief smile from between Kaoru and Yahiko, who are still yelling their brains out at each other. Nashie feels sorry for the diminutive redhead, but decides not to come in between the two bickering teenagers.

"Thank you for your generosity," Kenshin says. "We're very grateful, de gozaru ka."

"Anytime, hon," responds Nashie with a wink at him and Sano. "I'll do whatever I can to protect my bishonen." A horrified look appears on Kaoru's face as she stops in mid-argument with Yahiko.

"Oh, no! Not you, too!"

Yahiko's only response is to burst out laughing. Nashie sweatdrops slightly as Kaoru begins pounding the unfortunate boy into the ground.

"Hehehe...let me show you guys to your seats…"

She gestures for the quintet to follow her as they exit the lobby, with Kaoru beating down Yahiko as they go. As they depart, a gorgeous young man wearing a ninja outfit enters into the lobby, light brown hair swept back from sharp ice blue eyes hidden behind dark glasses as they scan the room for the missing director. With him is an attractive dark-haired girl wearing a black crop top and black gi pants, her hair pulled sharply back into a ponytail. In her hand she clutches a bow, the case of arrows strapped to her back. With their darkly-tinted sunglasses and severe expressions, they look as if they both stepped out of _The Matrix_.

A frown appears on the young man's face when he fails to find the director. He unconsciously checks the nun chuck strapped to his side before striding towards the theatre doors in earnest. He earns a few stares from the surrounding crowd, but no one makes a move to stop him. The girl pauses for a minute, doing a quick sweep of the room, looking both anonymous and downright scary as she does so. The few who catch her eye shiver and turn back to their own business.

"We _will_ find out the mystery of the Text, tonight."

-à-à-

Author's Note: (2-21-05) This is the new format of all the chapters. At this rate, I can shorten the time it takes me to upload. Groovy, right? All of the author's notes will still be contained at the end of all the numbered chapters, not the sub-chapters (at least…well, I might change my mind…again). Well, except for this one, so you guys know what's going on. Toodles!


	2. 1B: All the World's a Stage

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 1:B – ALL THE WORLD'S A STAGE…

Backstage, behind the closed curtains, Nashie is lying out on the set, staring up into the hanging lights overhead. After departing from the Kenshin party, she had run back downstairs in a rush, wondering why she had forgotten about the last minute check-ups on the stage. She has just checked the fog machines for the opening scene, yet the one character that was supposed to be in that scene is nowhere to be found. She has taken off her headset so that no one could reach her, and is staring up dismally at the darkened rigging far above her. At this point, the beloved director is beginning to have doubts whether or not they should still continue the play. More stuff went wrong within the past half-hour than the past few months combined.

"Why do I bother anyway?" gripes the jade-eyed girl, glaring up at the ceiling. "This is what I get for trying to make a faerie tale with the most rambunctious group of anime characters ever to be assembled on the face of the planet." She sighs melodramatically. "They better be glad I like every single last one of 'em."

Steps echo from the stage, and four figures join the depressed director on the stage. These are a handful of the members of stage crew: Teki, Mitsukake, Bob, and Chiriko, all of who are wearing face masks over their face. Bob and Chiriko are wearing elbow-length gloves and eye goggles.

Nashie frowns. "Where's the rest of the crew?" Mitsukake sighs, and runs a hand through dark hair.

"Sake-chan is finishing up with the sound system with C-Guy, and Miku is going over spotlights." He crosses his arms over the black sweatshirt he's wearing. "And, MoonshadowJedi is suffering from the headache of the century thanks to our leading lady." Nashie winces, suddenly remembering her friend's twitching form when she had walked from the dressing room.

"I'm going to have to talk to her about that yelling. And our actors?" Teki grins humouressly.

"Scattered. Yui is feeling better thanks to Subaru, who so happened to have some Tylenol with her. Tamahome STILL doesn't have his hearing back yet-"

"I'm working on that," Mitsukake interrupts.

"...we can't find Chichiri, Hotohori, Nuriko, or Tasuki." She shrugs. "I'm going to assume they fled as far away as they can when they realized Miaka was holding your kryptonite donuts."

Nashie blushes. "Joy."

"Well, the good news is that we found a pumpkin, at least," Bob adds, trying to soothe an embarrassed Nashie. "And we've coated it with orange spray paint and lacquer so Miaka won't attempt to eat it." Nashie wrinkles her nose.

"So that's that smell. You're a genius Bob, Chiriko."

"You think they'll be back within thirty minutes?" Chiriko asks, giving Nashie a sideways glance. The young woman sighs and shrugs.

"If they're not, I'm gonna roast every single last one of 'em. "

There are more footsteps, and a happily smiling Chichiri strolls up, obviously unharmed from the past screeching bestowed upon cast and crew by the darling leading star. He cocks his head to the side at seeing the grouchy stage manager and director, and sits down next to her and crosses his legs, lotus position.

"You look upset, no da." Nashie sticks her tongue out at him before returning to her morose state.

"I am..."

"Miaka didn't mean it, na no da."

Mitsukake raises an eyebrow at Nashie. "I believe it's more of a reaction for her to do that when she believes she's threatened." Nashie scowls.

"I WASN'T threatening her. I was _simply_ asking for some donuts." Chiriko hesitates and then shakes his head.

"Nashie-san, you tried to take food away from Miaka. To her, that is a strong threat!"

"Lay off, I was just hungry," grumbles Nashie in her defense. "I haven't eaten since breakfast." As if to agree, her stomach growls loudly. "See? Or, uh, hear?"

"That's okay, no da," Chichiri interjects with a warm smile. "We're having a party after opening night, right? And the pizza's here, no da. You'll be okay until then, hopefully, no da."

"I'm not getting between Miaka and a pizza." The director makes a face at the rest of the gathered crew.  
"And if she even gets a CRUMB on her costume…"

Teki cups her her chin thoughtfully. "Wouldn't that add to her costume though? I mean, she IS Cinderella – cinders and dirt and all that jazz." The tall light goddess does a brief jazz hands move before winking. "You have to wonder though, how that girl manages to stay one hundred pounds. It's not natural."

"Your G-boy crush weighs less than that, y'know." Nashie pokes and prods Teki, who turns red, and tries to ignore her friend's teasings. The others roll their eyes or smile at the friends' antics, until Chichiri clears his throat slightly, causing all attention to turn to him.

"What's the first special effect?" he asks. "I know you hadn't made up your mind a few hours ago about Tasuki's introduction, no da. Have you yet?" Nashie nods, her lips quirking up into a smirk.

"The first scene, when Gen-chan is introducing the musical. That's when all the fog comes on and the fans blow up the glitter from the floor. We don't need you for that, but I appreciate that you're still on the ball." She suddenly glomps onto Chichiri, who scratches behind his head, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks.

"Well, I am part of stage crew too, no da!"

"I know," Nashie whispers sincerely, giving him another tight squeeze. "And I love you for it!" She gets to her feet and brushes off her pants with an air of urgency. "Speaking of stage crew, can we get Sake, Miku, C-Guy, and MoonshadowJedi to meet up with all of us ten minutes before the show starts in the loft? You know, a pre-show pep talk? So nothing goes wrong and all?"

"I have to go pull Miku away from the spotlights now anyway," Teki explains, stretching out long limbs. "We have what, twenty minutes before the curtain rises? I'll be back in ten minutes then." She waves and walks off. The remaining crewmembers share looks before all simultaneously shrugging.

"I'm going to be with Bob on stage right," Chiriko pipes up. Bob nods.

"And you know I'm doing the rigging and making sure the scene changes are swift and flawless." He winks at Nashie, who squirms in an embarrassment. _That's what you get for hiring an Orlando Bloom lookalike to help you out…_, she scolds herself mentally.

Mitsukake pats Nashie on the shoulder. "Tama-neko and I are with you on stage left."

At this point, an adorable white-and-brown cat peeks from Mitsukake's sweatshirt hood and meows in agreement. The cat jumps from the hood and onto Chichiri's shoulder as the monk pets the small animal gently.

"And when I'm not on stage, I'll be with you and Mitsukake, no da."

Nashie rubs hands together. "Then that should take care of stage crew. Now, all we need to get is the chorus together and find our missing seishi and we're set! Easy as a walk in the park…"

Of course, Nashie forgot that bad weather can always put a damper on such walks.

-à-à-

In the discussed loft of the stage, directly above and on stage right, three figures look down on the gathered members of stage crew, but make no sign to alert their presence. The triangle-shaped loft is comfortably sized and completely in the shadows, save for the one black light that's currently turned off. Various tools, coats, and open pizza boxes are scattered across sturdy tables that obviously saw more than one hammer-happy child and power saw-crazed stage member. In the midst of the tables, two beaten pea-green couches also overloaded with coats pass off as resting places for the hardworking members of stage crew. Above the loft, acting as a ceiling, is a suspended room, supported by two thick wooden columns, that serves as the "light command center", and can only be reached by a ladder and a key for the lock that was latched onto the gate barring access to the ladder.

The flame-haired one of the trio leaned over the railing to peer down at the stage members, a frown appearing on devilishly handsome features.

"Until I get some say in what I'm gonna wear, I ain't goin' back down there!"

"Honestly, Tasuki. It's a pair of WINGS. It's not like you have to wear a tutu or something. You could have to wear this miserable thing."

"I thought you like dressin' up in that kind of shit."

"Nashie made me wear a corset. You know how UNCOMFORTABLE this thing is? It's literally breathtaking."

The third member of the group sighs and rests his chin in his hands. "She is rather...insistent...over such matters concerning the authenticity of this musical."

"Then don'tcha think she coulda got some girls to play me and Nuriko's parts, huh?" A pause. "Well, maybe not Nuriko's part…ouch!"

"She did get one thing right."

"She didn't get anythin' right."

"By casting me as the king, she guaranteed that the role would be fulfilled with the proper dignity and grace that comes with having such a title."

Somehow, Tasuki manages not to facefault right over the edge of the railing at the comment. Nuriko sweatdrops, and scratches behind his head.

Below them, Sake-chan walks out the door connecting the hallway to the stage, balancing two pizza boxes in her arms. C-Guys follows with another two, though one of the boxes is open, and the pizza in the said box is missing a slice. That missing slice is currently being digested in C-Guy's system, and traces of its former existence can be seen on the corner of C-Guy's mouth.

"Pizza for the hardworking crew!" she whoops as she dumps the boxes on the floor next to Nashie. "And before you ask, I'm going to drop one of these boxes up in the light loft so Miku and Teki can eat during the show."

Nashie lifts one of the lids to reveal a barbeque chicken-and-pineapple pizza. "Actually, they're both up by the spotlights but they'll be down...soon...you remembered!" Without any warning, she glomps onto Sake, nearly sending them both flailing to the ground. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I LOVE YOU!" Sake sweatdrops and manages a brief V-sign. Chiriko gives Nashie a worried look as his eyes dart towards the closed curtains.

"Nashie-san, you must keep quiet! The audience is already coming in!" Nashie winces and throws up her shoulders in an apologetic shrug.

"I'm sorry. But you guys know how much I love chicken-and-pineapple pizza." She grabs a slice and begins chewing on it. "The best kind there is for a vegetarian."

Chichiri scratches his head. "Well, technically speaking, you're not a vegetarian because you're still eating chicken, no da."

"I'm not eating a mammal though."

A pause and then a sigh. "True, na no da."

Up in the loft, Tasuki glances at Hotohori and then Nuriko. "Whatdya say about stealin' a pizza?" Nuriko glances down at the stage members and shakes his head.

"If you can get down there fast enough without them spotting you. You know how possessive Nashie is about her pizza…" He wrinkles his nose as Tasuki grins, a plan already forming in his head.

"Piece of cake." Hotohori gives him a look.

"Didn't we promise Nashie that we would attempt to act mature backstage?" Tasuki shrugs.

"Only when the show starts. Until then, we can act as immature as we wanna be." Nuriko pauses, considering his words and then suddenly grins.

"Then what are you waiting for? Go on!" He gives Tasuki a slight push which nearly sends the red-haired bandit flailing over the railing. The flame-haired seishi shoots daggers at him and he blushes. "Oops...sorry, Tasuki."

Tasuki mutters, "Ya just conveniently forgot yer own strength again, right?" Nuriko gives a slight abashed shrug, an innocent smile on his face. "Don't give me that look. I'm goin' already. In fact, I'm already gone." He disappears in a flash. For a moment, all is silent. Then, Hotohori gives Nuriko a brief, exasperated look.

"Was that so wise?"

"What did I do?"

Hotohori points down the cluster of stage members, and Nuriko turns his head to see. Having attempted to steal Nashie's beloved pizza, Tasuki has once again found himself on the receiving end of the Big Stuffed Fish, and lies half-dazed in the middle of the set. Nashie is obviously trying to control her temper and indignant rage over the fact that someone would try to steal HER pizza. Bob watches, silently chewing on a slice of pepperoni pizza while Mitsukake and Chichiri check Tasuki for any serious brain damage. Chiriko cocks his head to the side, and watches as Nashie hovers protectively over her food. Sake trying to suppress laughter while C-Guy chooses to look conveniently confused.

"Calm down...Nashie...(giggle)...it's not that...(snort)...bad..." Sake manages to choke out.

Nashie, meanwhile, glares at Tasuki. "How dare you try to steal MY pizza, Gen-chan! There are _five whole pizzas in the cast room_!"

Tasuki tries to clear the birds from flying around his head. "Whatdya mean, Miaka scared us out of there with those decibels of hers…y'know how hard it is to recover our hearin' with a shriek from the dead like that…" Mitsukake kneels next to Tasuki as the seishi tries to sit up, lets out a groan, and falls back onto the stage floor.

"I wouldn't try to move so fast. Nashie has a strong arm with that fish."

"I wasn't even tryin' to steal your nasty pizza…"

THWUMP!

Bob winces as a now unconscious Tasuki collapses to the grounds, his eyes swirly. "Ouch...that must hurt." He turns to Nashie. "You do realize that he has to be conscious by eight? He is in the first scene, after all." Nashie scowls, holding the Big Stuffed Fish over Tasuki with a dark look in her green eyes.

"He shouldn't have said my pizza was nasty," she mutters. "It tastes very good, thank you very much." The others groan at Nashie's antics, wondering whether it was true or not if the transformer dropped on her head as a child really did do brain damage (_most likely_, comes the answer in most of the assembled's minds).

"Not to interrupt or anything," Chiriko suddenly says as Tasuki continues to twitch on the ground, "but did you notice that he said 'scared us' and 'our hearing'?" Sake gets a thoughtful look on her face and nods.

"Miaka did get manage to get rid of Hotohori and Nuriko..."

Up in the balcony, a scowl crosses Nuriko's face as Hotohori frowns.

"Get rid of...?"

Chichiri also nods in agreement. "Chiriko's right, no da. I think someone else was with Tasuki…"

"Well, I'm going to kill every single last one of 'em if they don't show up soon." Nashie, of course.

Sake's eyes light up and she gestures frantically. "That's right. I still have to get the mikes on our people." She turns to C-Guy, who automatically pulls out the mike box from his windbreaker. Nashie sweatdrops, wondering how in the world such a slim young man can hold so many bulky things in his pocket.

Chichiri glances around the stage, a frown disrupting the usually cheerful façade of his mask. "Anybody see which direction Tasuki came from?" Sake shrugs, placing her hands behind her head in a typical Duo-fashion, a Cheshire-like smile spreading across her face.

"Oh, let whoever it is stay in hiding. Probably has stage fright, anyway."

In the loft, there is a growl of resentment.

Meanwhile, Sake starts digging through the mike box, completely oblivious to the pounding feet on the stairway behind her in the wings. "_And_ I'm a much better singer than anyone here, so I should have a part in the play, don'tcha think? A-ha, here we go!" She pulls out a body mike and closes the top to the box.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, one of Bob and Chiriko's lacquer-covered pumpkins comes flying from stage right and connects right into the back of Sake's head, causing the pumpkin to explode into orange goo and making Sake heavily fall face first onto the floor, making a nice Sake-shaped dent in the floor. Everyone blinks, and then looks up, wary of seeing more orange projectiles hurled their way. Instead, they see a royally pissed off Nuriko and a slightly less pissed off Hotohori.

"Screw you!" Nuriko mutters before turning and storming off the stage in a huff. Hotohori simply shakes his head.

"'Get rid of?' 'Stage fright?' Woefully inaccurate phrases." With that, he follows Nuriko off to the make-up room.

The remaining members of stage crew turn to the limp-figure of Sake, and then at the retreating actors. C-Guy pulls a broom out of his windbreaker, and pokes at her to see if there will be any reaction. A low painful moan issues forth from the hapless victim, and Chichiri ventures over to her to turn her over. The unfortunate sound manager twitches, her face oddly reminiscent of Tasuki's, swirly eyes and all.

Mitsukake looks up from where he is healing Tasuki, a frown on his face before shaking his head in vexation. "This may not be the best time to tell you this Nashie…but the play starts in less than twenty minutes, and one of your actors and your sound manager are both out for the count." As if to agree, Tama-neko mimics Sake and Tasuki's twitching positions. Nashie sighs and scratches behind her head.

"Well, Sake's already brain-damaged, so another blow to the head won't really show through, don't you think?"

"Of course, she could be dead, no da." A low moan from Sake cancels that hypothesis and Chichiri kneels down to check for any serious concussion. Sake still twitches pathetically.

"You think Nuriko would have done that on purpose...?" Chiriko asks, glancing at Bob. The young man gives a brief shrug of his shoulders.

"People can do strange things when they're mad..." Mitsukake gives Nashie a pointed look as she blinks innocence.

"Like pull out giant stuffed fish and do harm to leading actors..."

The now irate director throws up hands in exasperation. "Alright already! I made a mistake! Get off my case. Chichiri, get the first aid kit – it's in the make-up room. Mitsukake – your job is with Tamahome. Make sure his hearing is recovered before the first scene. Chiriko, Bob, if that pumpkin is broken, fix it. AND I still want to meet with all of crew ten minutes before the show starts." She rubs her head, looking like the perfect picture of a hassled leader. "Can we do this, people?"

She is met with sullenly nodding hands and a monotonic 'yes' and immediately cheers up.

"Great then! I'm going to go and calm our king and queen down. Bye!" Without any further ado, the young woman scampers off to stage right.

The remaining members of stage crew share looks. For a few seconds, no one does anything.

"You don't think that she...?"

"I highly doubt she'll even consider..."

"If it happens, there'll be trouble..."

Just as Chiriko finishes that statement, a high-pitched squeal comes from the make-up room followed by a series of three consecutive crashes of something extremely expensive and rare. And THAT was followed by inane laughter, furious yelling, and more sounds of stuff breaking. After a long, almost comical pause on stage, Chichiri sighs and shakes his head.

"I really don't want to go in there, no da." Mitsukake puts a hand on Chichiri's shoulder and gives a reaffirming squeeze.

"I don't blame you..." He pauses. "You would think Nashie would know better than to enter into a danger zone like that. Especially when Nuriko was THAT mad, and Miaka still thinks she'll get attacked for her doughnuts."

"If there are any left..." notes Bob dryly. The others nod at this very true statement unaware that Tasuki is starting to come to behind them. The fire-heared seishi opens his eyes and then squeezes them shut as mighty powerful headache erupts in his skull.

"Stop talkin' so loud, wouldja?" he mumbles incoherently. "My head is killin' me..." Chichiri glances over at Tasuki and then turns to the rest of the crew, a short sympathetic look appearing on his face.

"We should go, no da. The show starts soon and I don't want to annoy Nashie any more than she already is..."

The four young men nod in agreement, and turn their attention back to the still unconscious Sake and the recovering Tasuki.

-à-à-


	3. 1C: Friends and Family

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 1:C – FAMILY AND FRIENDS

Meanwhile, out in the audience, people are already filling the seats. Some are elegantly dressed, while others look as if they simply bummed their way in. The theatre itself is extraordinarily posh-looking, with rich, upholstered seats, a vaulted marble ceiling, and thick carpet underfoot. If not for the even more grandiose appearance of the stage, it would be quite easy to simply fall asleep right in one's chair. The aforementioned stage is peculiarly quiet, the heavy red curtains closed as the orchestra tunes up in the pit around the apron of the stage.

In one of the reserved balconies, a group of young men shuffles in, talking loudly about, what else, girls. The balcony, located on stage right, gives a perfect view of the stage, and comes with an usher and private access to a bar (although only one of the group is at the tender legal age to drink). Of course, acting as if the play is some sort of movie, the young men are laden down with popcorn in tubs that could literally feed a small nation, gallons of soda, and pockets filled with various overpriced candy (where they got all this inside a _theatre_ is a mystery better left to the imagination).

Needless to say, this odd group out is more of Nashie's personal invites. Well, actually, only one person was an invite, and he went and invited a handful of his friends.

One of the tallest of the group, a sturdy handsome young man, settles himself into a seat, balancing his bathtub-sized container of popcorn in one hand. This is Big Brother, Nashie's older, sometimes annoying, sibling. "Man, what are you complaining about? We don't have anything else to do tonight." Another of the young men, though by looks appears _much_ older than he really is, plops down next to him, sipping on a Dr. Pepper as he gives Big Brother a long look.

"It's Cinderella. As in Disney. As in singing and dancing." Big Brother throws his hands up.

"I didn't see you coming up with any better ideas." Al, another of Big Brother's friends, raises his hand, the other one holding onto a plate of nachos.

"Hey, I said we should go to the movies. But no one listens to poor Al."

Big Brother snorts. "We went to the movies yesterday. Besides, this was free. And you guys know I'm poor." The smallest member of the group who also looks the youngest (though, in an odd twist of appearances, is the oldest) nods in agreement.

"He does have a point. About it being free." Al and K-Rod both roll their eyes.

"'He does have a point,'" Al mutters in a poor imitation of Jeff. "Dude, we're watching _CINDERELLA_. That's Disney stuff!" He sits back in his seat with a huff. Big Brother makes a face at him.

"Hey, c'mon. It's Milwaukee on a Saturday night. What else is there to do? We went to a movie yesterday, we went bowling last weekend, and the malls are closed already. Man, see, that's why I hate Milwaukee." He immediately goes into his famous I Hate Milwaukee Rant™ and begins listing five thousand reasons why Milwaukee sucks.

K-Rod looks down at the stage, trying to ignore Big Brother's rant. "There you go again." Big Brother raises his eyebrows in a typical 'are you serious' look.

"Am I not right?"

Jeff laughs a bit. "You guys need to quit it. After all, Nashie was nice enough to give us free balcony seats to see a musical that's not that bad. Didn't you guys ever see the one with Brandy and Whitney Houston in it?" Al gives Jeff a completely deadpan look.

"That one sucked. And you know why it sucked? Because Brandy is ugly. She looks like an epileptic giraffe."

One of the young men who has been oddly quiet for the major part of the conversation decides that it's his turn to shine. He stands up, nearly knocking his soda over, and throws out his arms.

"The sweeeeetest sooooound I'll eeeeeever heeeeeear...is stiiiiiiil insiiiiiiide my heeeeeead...!"

Note that this is an odd thing to see from someone with the stature of a football player. The other guys begin booing him and pelting him with popcorn and Raisinets®.

"Shut up, Orlando!"

"You are _so_ off-key!"

"Hey, you're gonna knock my popcorn over!" Orlando slumps in his seat and throws popcorn (and the few Raisinets he can find) back at them.

"You hate me! You really hate me!" Jeff wards off the popcorn and contemplates whether he really is the most mature one there as more pieces of the popped corn and thrown back and forth among the young men.

"Hey, don't throw anything at me. I didn't start this!"

"Ah can't believe y'all would say I cain't sing!" wails Orlando in a fake Southern belle voice, causing all the young men to groan and throw even more food at him. "Y'all have gone and broken my poor li'l heart!" Al and Big Brother share looks.

"Man, you need to quit it."

"Ditto."

"Oh, boo-hoo."

K-Rod props his chin on his hand, looking bored. "You guys are stupid."

Ah, the maturity of childlike adults.

-à-à-

In the make-up room, Nashie is grumbling to herself as Chichiri fixes up Tasuki from his severe whapping from the Big Stuffed Fish. MoonshadowJedi is downing yet another handful of aspirin, still rubbing her temples with a dazed look on her face, while a youthful Subaru sits next to her, combing through her mass of wavy silvery-white hair. Miaka huddles protectively over her doughnut, peeking out from a now recovered Tamahome who is giving Mitsukake a grateful smile. Nuriko is still shooting daggers at Sake's prone form while Hotohori ignores them all.

Nashie finally sighs, rubbing the bridge of her nose wearily. "Miaka, I said I was sorry. I'm not going to try to take any more of your doughnuts." The only response is a suspicious glare from Miaka, causing Nashie to groan in frustration. "I'm serious." The suspicious look stays on her face and Nashie throws her hands up in exasperation. "Fine! _You_ talk to her, Tama-chan!"

"Are you mad that your lead actress thinks you're going to maim her for some doughnuts?"

"Shut up, Tama-chan!"

"You told me to help!" A short blonde girl sitting next to Nashie giggles slightly.

"You're making it worse!" exclaims Yui with a shake of her head. She turns to her best friend, a twinkle in her blue eyes. "Come on, Miaka. No one is going to steal your doughnuts."

"See?" Nashie exclaims, earning her a suspicious look from the Suzaku no miko. Miaka hesitates slightly, and then cocks her head to the side, green eyes wide in a questioning gaze.

"Promise?"

"If she doesn't, then you can hit me too," Yui says with a small smile that obviously says, 'you don't want to test that theory'.

"I promise." Tasuki rolls his eyes as Nashie places her hand over her heart and does a salute.

"Sap." Nashie glares at him.

"Shut up, Gen-chan. You better be glad you weren't seriously injured by my Big Stuffed Fish. I could have whapped you harder for trying to steal my pizza!" Tasuki blows a raspberry at her.

"I don't want your nasty pizza!"

There's a loud crash, and the next thing Tasuki knows, Nuriko, MoonshadowJedi, and Tamahome have all leapt onto Nashie to prevent her from whapping Tasuki with the Big Stuffed Fish.

"Lemme at 'im! LEMME AT 'IM!" Nashie shouts, swinging wildly for the big-mouthed bandit. Chichiri holds the arm grasping the Big Stuffed Fish, trying to pull the deranged director out of the room.

"Calm down, no da! Hurting him won't help you at all, no da!" Of course, Tasuki only makes matters worse by sticking out his tongue a good four feet in front of Nashie.

"Nyah!"

"DIE!"

Now, Mitsukake joins in on the pile-up to keep Nashie from killing Tasuki. Yui jumps off of her chair to prevent from being caught up in the ramble. "Hey, you guys! Stop it!" Subaru also gets to her feet, but she storms up to the group, hands on her hips and look quite irritable.

"Don't make me go home and bring Tokaki here, Nashie!" She waves her brush threateningly. "Unless you want my lecherous husband clinging to all female members of stage crew, knock it off!" Chichiri points towards the door, ignoring the stunned looks of the other cast and crew members as their friends fight to drag Nashie out of the room and from doing permanent damage to Tasuki.

"Get her out of here, no da! We have ten minutes before the show starts, and we can't afford to have any actors unconscious, no da!"

Nashie, still wrestling with three seishi and MoonshadowJedi, tries to give Tasuki one last whap that will send him flying into the heavens as the group manages to haul her from the room. Miaka and Yui share looks, and laugh nervously as Tasuki watches in something akin to frightened amusement. Hotohori sighs, watching the antics with a removed air. Chichiri picks Sake-chan up from the floor and carries her to the door, ready to take her upstairs to the light loft.

Chichiri glances at Hotohori and Subaru. "Make sure everyone's in their places in five minutes, no da. Especially Tasuki, no da." The other seishi scowls, crossing his arms and looking altogether like a wronged child.

"Say what? I know that already!"

"Then put on your wings, no da! Or else Nashie will really let you have it, na no da!" He walks out the door behind the brawling crowd.

The group somehow manages to drag Nashie down the dark hallway and up the metal stairs into the quiet light loft, where the other members of stage crew are patiently waiting, lounging around on the couches. Nuriko grabs Nashie by the shoulders, and, not so gently, throws her onto a vacant couch, nearly tipping it over from the force. MoonshadowJedi plops down next to her, checking her camera to make sure Nashie didn't damage it too much. Mitsukake sighs, leaning against one of the wooden columns that supports the light command center.

"You can't hurt Tasuki, or you'll destroy the musical," Nuriko tries to explain to the pissed off director. "Until you can calm down, stay up here. "

The violet-haired young man gives Nashie a long steady glare before turning on his heel and going back down the stairs.

Tamahome rubs his nose. "You have good aim, I'll say that much." He holds out his hand expectantly, a broad grin on his boyish face. "That'll be fifteen ryo for keeping you from murdering Tasuki. After all, okane keeps this show alive!"

"If you don't want to end up like him," Nashie mutters darkly, "I suggest you draw that hand back to your body, Tama-chan."

"A-ha! You're still angry. I can give you advice on how to control your emotions for twenty ryo."

"OUT!"

"Cheapskate." Tamahome jams his hands in his pockets and leaves, muttering something about cheap directors on PMS under his breath.

The members of stage crew all give Nashie patient looks as she tilts her head back on the couch and glares up at the ceiling. Chichiri sits Sake up in a couch with Chiriko and Teki and then sits down next to her. Nashie finally lets out a long, deep sigh and folds her hands on her lap, trying to regain her temper. She gives each of her beloved stage crew members steady, serious looks.

"Okay, we're going to forget that happened. I'll try to not kill Tasuki for that remark about my pizza. But, we have to be serious now. This musical is very important. It has to go off flawlessly. That means lights, sound, and special effects have to be right on cue. Does everybody have their cue sheets?"

When she is met with various nods, she grins brightly, tension suddenly gone.

"Cool." She looks towards Teki and Miku. "You guys can still control the spotlights from the light command center, right? And you have a television up there so you can see the performance in case you can't find your cue sheet. And PLEASE make sure your mikes are on, okay?"

"We're going to need another black light bulb," Teki says, gesturing to the light command center. "Ours blew a fuse." Nashie nods and then points over to a box near the far wall of the loft.

"There are some in the box over in the corner." She now gives her attention to Bob. "Bob, the legs, like I told you earlier today, are gonna be blocking your view of the stage, so you're gonna be getting all of your cues from Mitsukake. Hopefully, this mechanical rigging system won't mess up tonight."

"Let's hope that," comes the dry reply. Nashie makes a face at him before grinning at the second youngest member of stage crew.

"Chiriko, I want you to keep the main leads on their toes – no slacking off in the make-up room. If they do, I'll whap them with the...what?"

"No whapping."

"Fine, fine. Guys, make sure your headsets work."

Sake suddenly revives, sits up, her back rigid, her eyes huge with dread and anticipation. "HEADSETS!" She groans and turns to glare at C-Guy. "The mikes!"

Chichiri waves his hands in front of his face placidly.

"We took care of that already, no da. You should be able to control it from the sound booth, no da." Nashie claps her friend on the shoulder, a reassuring smile on her face.

"So you better get over to stage left!"

MoonshadowJedi raises her hand hesitantly, a wince ready to take over her shoulders. "So that's where the sound booth is. I thought it was out in the audience somewhere." She scratches behind her head and sighs. "Nashie, _don't_ ask me to run anywhere – I don't know where anything's at!" She receives a grin and V-sign from the director and sighs in relief. _Thank god! This play would end up in London, and I'd still be asking for directions!_

Teki stretches out her limbs and places her hands on her hips. "So, that's it?" Nashie nods.

"Yeah…" A pause as the group gets to their feet and prepares to get on with their assigned duties. "Oh, and guys?"

The gathered crew turns to their director as she stands up and pumps her fist into the air, a huge goofy grin on her face. She is no longer the mature, solemn director, or the short-tempered director from hell. No, now it's just Nashie, with no titles added to that, just loaded with adrenaline and excitement.

"We are the coolest people ever! And this musical is gonna rock! Yee-haw!"

Sake grins, her wane mood forgotten as she also stands up and gives Nashie a high five, joined soon by Teki, and the three girls whoop and holler and cheer. Mitsukake gives a small smile, while Bob laughs quietly. MoonshadowJedi cheers also, but doesn't stand up, just records everyone's actions. Miku cocks her head to the side, swinging her feet over the edge of the couch, looking bored. C-Guy looks aptly confused at the exchange of language, but manages to understand the good cheer.

"This'll go okay, no da," Chichiri assures Nashie with a smile. "Let's blow them out of the water, Nashie."

"Yeah. Let's show them what Suzaku warriors are made out of!"

-à-à-

Author's Note: (8-9-04) Yeah. No script. (glares at You guys have probably noticed that this is a new version of Cinderella. Not entirely new, but some lines have been changed. In a resolution or promise to another author, I'm making sure that my story is as original as I can make it without deviating too much from my ideas which happen to coincide with theirs. I've already given them my deepest of apologies, and am trying very hard to redeem myself for my actions and the distress I put them through.

(1-28-04) Oh, if only stage crew WERE actually filled with bishonen. But alas, it is not to be.

Um, I hope none of the characters are too OOC. (I know for sure DJFiregirl isn't – I promise to let you glomp the bishonen before the play ends. And certainly not my brother and his friends). Actually, in real life, our high school did put on the musical 'Cinderella' when I was a freshman (and in stage crew). And because I saw the version with Brandy in it the other day, and was totally high on Fushigi Yugi, I was pretty much like, "That would be so cool if the cast of FY was in it..."

So begins the journey of headaches, the stage jig, missed lines, red-haired faerie godmothers, and a whole lot of insanity.

And what's this about Subaru? Well, I really like Subaru – I think she's extraordinarily cool, so I gave her the part of the Stepmother. And if anyone cares, Tokaki was...ahem...forcibly restrained and is currently tied up in a chair at home to prevent him from, um, propositioning all female members of cast, crew, and chorus.

A new disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin (Keeeeeeenshiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!). And those two mysterious Matrix people aren't from _The Matrix_. In fact, they aren't really all that scary in real life – but since I'm the director and I plan for having some action in later chapters of this story, they are going to purposely be scary...BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, and if anyone reading this story would actually like to be in it, I'll be glad to oblige! The more interesting and involved the audience, the better. (The only thing more dangerous than Nashie wanting Krispy Kremes is Nashie wanting Little Debbie Pecan Pinwheels...)

Next chapter: Will Tasuki do his part? What happens when Sake has to rush through her scene changes? And how scary are mysterious figures? All this, and more in chapter 2! (flinches) Ah, I sound like an announcer for some weird Disney cartoon show. (shudders) Though I did like Darkwing Duck...(sings) 'Darkwing Duck! When there's trouble, you call DW! Darkwing Duck! Let's get dangerous! Darkwing Duck! Better watch you bad boys! Darkwing Duck!'

Bai-bai until the first scene!


	4. 2A: Ars Gratia Artis

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi; it belongs solely to Yuu Watase-sama. But if you call 1-800-555-2345, you too can own a one of a kind…soap dispenser! It cleans, it disinfects, it makes ice cream out of mushrooms! All for 19.95! (in a very fast announcer's voice) This does not include shipping and handling, packaging, the color of the soap dispenser, the electrical socket for the soap dispenser, the insurance that comes with dispenser, looking for mushrooms, and you must buy your own soap. This offer is for a limited time only and you must be eighteen or older to call. (slows back down) Get yours today!

Lyrics are in bold italics, since this is no longer script-format (says nothing but eyes shoot to the administrators of a certain website). If two people are singing, you can tell the separation of the two parts by the apostrophe. For example:

_'**Tasuki sings**__'_

_'**Tamahome sings**__'_

Tasuki: I don't wanna sing with obake-chan!

Taka: Why you! (fight breaks out)

The apostrophe's, like quotation marks, begin and end the singing verse. If there are quotation marks instead of apostrophes, then that means the two people are singing together (note: the chorus counts as if one person is singing). For example:

**_'Tasuki sings'_**

****

**_'Tamahome sings'_**

****

**_"Tasuki and Tamahome sing together"_**

Tasuki, Tamahome: (too busy fighting to notice)

I hope it isn't too confusing. Enjoy!

-à-à-

CHAPTER 2:A – ARS GRATIA ARTIS

The clock reads 7:55.

The small dark area between the red décor curtains and the black scene curtains is quiet and empty, save for the appearance of one lone figure. He is standing right in the center of the downstage area, and is listening intently to the growing crowd on the other side of the thick red curtain. Arms crossed and head lowered, the young man's lips move silently in the darkness, as if he's praying. The image is reinforced by his closed eyes and the intense look of concentration across his features.

"Why did I do this? I mean, geez…what the fuck was I thinking? I'm a bandit, not an actor. Let alone a singer…stupid promises…"

As if reading his thoughts, a shadow emerges from the wings of stage left, carefully making sure not to ruffle the curtains as she jogs up to one of the lead actors. It's Nashie, and a bright smile is on her face as she slows down in front of Tasuki, careful not to jostle the curtain.

"Yo, Gen-chan. How're you doing?"

Tasuki looks up, startled. "Nashie? What the hell are you doin' here? It's five minute 'til curtain. Shouldn't you be backstage...I dunno...doin' director things?" Nashie smiles softly and ruffles his hair.

"I'm checking up on you, silly, until the play starts," she says quietly, biting her lower lip mischievously. "You put your wings on? Thank you. Means a lot to me."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Nashie frowns as the fifth seishi continues to shift uncomfortably.

"Alright…what's wrong?" Tasuki stops for a second, giving Nashie a look before he scowls darkly.

"I'm wearin' wings. I have on make-up. I look like a fuckin' pansy. That's what's wrong. I'm gonna get laughed outta the damn theatre. Everyone else got to have manly outfits…well, save Nuriko, but he's another case…why couldn't I?" He glares at Nashie. "Why didja make me the fuckin' faerie godmother?" Nashie frowns, her brow furrowing.

"You've been complaining an awful lot lately. I thought you'd be perfect for the part. You, the great and powerful bandit, becoming a magical faerie? It's hilarious!"

"I'm not laughin', Nashie. It's not funny. I want _some_ goddamn dignity when this thing is over…"

Nashie bites her bottom lip, and crosses her arms. Dealing with impetuous actors was not on her list of things-to-do. She knew that Tasuki hated his role with a passion, but now was not the time to be getting angry over it and threatening change. She looks up into amber eyes, and twists her mouth into a disappointed frown.

"Fine. Don't do it." She thrusts out her hand impatiently. "Give me your wings." An astonished look appears on Tasuki's face, and he looks altogether taken aback.

"What!"

"You said you don't want to do the part. Well, don't do the part. But give me the wings so I can do it." She moves closer to him and rewards him with a dangerous look in her half-lidded eyes. "But I want you to know that I'm very disappointed. Very disappointed, Tasuki."

_What the fuck…?_ "Nashie, c'mon. I'll do it. Just don't look like that…" Nashie immediately looks away, refusing to meet his eyes.

"That really hurt, Tasuki.'

"I'm sorry!" _Apologizing to a woman! What am I thinking?_ "I mean…I'll do it, I guess…even if I'll never be able to show my face around town ever again…" Nashie's mood suddenly changes, and she grins at her seishi, hands on her hips.

"You're too much, Gen-chan! You think I put on this play to embarrass the heck out of you guys?" Tasuki glares.

"Why else didja do it?" Nashie rolls her eyes and slaps her forehead in exasperation. Sometimes, guys could be so incredibly dense!

"Gen-chan, it's a _faerie tale_!" she reminds him with a laugh. "It's supposed to be light-hearted and funny. You know, like laughing and singing? No serious stuff this time around." She manages to catch his glower and gives him a happy wink. "Listen to me, just imagine as if it's another one of our rehearsals. Miaka has just brought in a year's supply of Wendy's fast food, and is consuming it like the hounds of hell are behind her. You and Tama-chan have just broken out into another fight over your parts. Chichiri is sneaking French fries, thinking no one can see him. Nuri-chan is about to punch you into a nearby wall because you teased him about being Tama-chan's mother, Hotohori-sama is fending off Miaka and Chiriko from giving him hamburgers, and I'm ready to murder all of you because you're slacking off."

A full-blown grin appears on Tasuki's face as he recalls the aforementioned 'Hell Day', as Nashie affectionately calls it. After a moment, he suddenly realizes what Nashie has done and he crosses his arms, shaking his head in disapproval, though a fanged grin is still on his face. "You trickster. You did that on purpose."

"What did I do?" Nashie blinks large, innocent eyes, peering up at Tasuki through her lashes as she shyly kicks the floor with the toe of her shoe, looking very much like she's about to say "aw, shucks!" Tasuki growls playfully and pretends to be angry.

"You made me smile! Now I'm in a good mood!"

Nashie laughs. "Oh, woe is the world. Tasuki's in a good mood." She punches him on the arm before hugging him briefly. "Go get 'em, Mr. Phantom Wolf!" Tasuki snorts softly, yet affectionately.

"Girls, you're all the same. All sap and sweet, even if you try to be tough!"

"Boys, you're all the same. Hard on the outside, sweet on the inside." She leans up and gives Tasuki a peck on the cheek. "Now, I'm off. Remember, right after the glitter blows upwards, you go straight to stage right, okay, hon?" Tasuki blushes a bit, caught off guard by the kiss.

"Yeah, I know." He quickly changes the subject, trying to hide his blush by looking off towards stage right. "Everyone else?"

Nashie smirks and gestures towards the black curtain. "Already in their places for the village scene. Remember to project, project, project! And enunciate. That's what my dad always tells me."

"Expecting him here tonight?" He receives a long look from Nashie. "What?"

"Gen-chan, it's eight. My parents are both asleep by now."

"Oh...right..." Nashie chuckles, rubbing the bridge of her nose in the now familiar gesture.

"You're gonna do great, Gen-chan!" The director gives a thumbs up signal before moving past him towards stage right. Tasuki watches her go, still blushing a bit.

"Stupid candy analogies...women are tricky, I tell ya. Tricky, tricky, tricky…"

-à-à-

Nashie emerges on stage right, and bumps right into Chiriko, who looks adorable wearing his headset. The tiny teenager blinks at Nashie in surprise and then in accusation.

"Nashie!" he chastises, shaking his head. "What are you doing right here? Shouldn't you be on the other side with Mitsukake?" Nashie smirks, crossing her arms.

"I'm just doing some last minute looking around. You know me, Chiriko." Chiriko doesn't look at all comforted by these words because he indeed knows Nashie, and knows that she'll likely be waiting until the last minute to run over to the other side.

Of course, the dense director doesn't notice this. She ruffles the last seishi's hair and looks past him to see Nuriko, Hotohori, and MoonshadowJedi sitting back in the wings of the stage, with a clear view of the downstage area. Nashie scrunches her nose up and walks over to them, her arms crossed.

"Hey," she frowns, "no cast in the wings unless you're about to go on. Stage rules." Nuriko hides a grin, and instead puts on a puppy dog look, batting thick dark eyelashes in sadness.

"You'd really make us go back into that dark, quiet make-up room with no one to talk to?" Chiriko and MoonshadowJedi hide snickers as Nashie looks suddenly taken aback. Nashie, they knew, has a soft spot for upset bishonen, triple the brownie points if you're Nuriko or Tasuki. "Nashie, I thought you were nicer than that."

Nashie seems to be fighting her inner angel and devil, and finally sighs, smacking her forehead and then rubbing the bridge of her nose. "You know I can't say 'no' when you do that!" She glares at Nuriko, but the look immediately softens as she looks into the cheerfully grinning face. "Okay, fine. Stay here. But just don't get in the way. And don't you dare mess up your costumes." Nuriko cheers and settles himself into his chair. MoonshadowJedi blinks. _Does she always get her way or what? And she's better at the puppy dog eyes than Nashie! I never thought I'd live to see the day_…

The brunette edges up to Nashie, her camera rolling. "Hey, Nashie. What props am I supposed to take care of again? I mean, I don't think I can move everything off the stage by myself during scene changes." The tall young woman pats her friend's shoulder.

"You, my friend, are in charge of all the major props of the musical. The pumpkins, the mice, the glass slipper, and any character props. They all go to you, and no one else." She suddenly lowers her voice and pulls the college student back towards the make-up room. "And when the wedding scene happens, I'm going to need you to get the bouquet. I'll tell you were it is during intermission, okay? We don't have money to buy another bouquet of white and red roses, so…take care of it, okay?" MoonshadowJedi nods, wiping a strand of brown hair out of her eyes.

"Right."

The director beams and then turns to the rest of the gathered crew and cast, her eyes sparkling in delight and anticipation. "Alright, you guys. This is it." She flips on the switch of her headset for good now, and says into the mike, "Sake, when I say so, you send the light signal to the orchestra leader, okay?"

"Right-eo, Miss Director Ma'am!" comes Sake's voice over the radio.

"Teki..."

"I know, I dim the lights at exactly eight o' clock unless you say so otherwise, and put a gold spotlight on downstage center when the red curtains open." A grin from Nashie, even though her close friend cannot see it.

"You're so on the ball, Teki." Before she can say anything else, another deeper male voice comes over the frequency.

"Nashie, you better get back on this side. We have less than a minute." Nashie nods, forgetting that once again that Mitsukake can't see her from the opposite side of the stage.

"Okay." She glances over at Bob at the rigging station, and he looks up from the various buttons and ropes in front of him. "Bob, you heard that?" Bob waves from the rigging station.

"Yeah." Nashie takes a deep breath and wipes her hands on her pants. "Alright. This is it, guys. Break a leg." The nervous director takes a deep breath and puts on a shaky smile. She receives smiles and thumbs-up from the various cast and crew, and she retreats behind the black curtain to race over to stage left. By some willing force of the universe, she manages to avoid any actors and actresses in the chorus, and the carts filled with produce, flowers, and clothing. She emerges on stage left unscathed, and, seeing Mitsukake and Chichiri near the edge of the wings, jogs over to them.

"Are we ready?" Nashie asks nervously, wringing her hand and doing her anticipation dance which looks oddly similar to the pee-pee dance. Mitsukake frowns a the dance, but nods his head anyway.

"Never more so."

"This is going to be good, Nashie, don't worry, no da." Over the headset, a voice crackles to life.

"It's eight. I'm dimming the house lights now."

-à-à-

Out in the audience, the glowing warmth of the house lights suddenly dim, leaving the theatre in relative darkness. The only lights now are produced from the quickly fading afterglow of the overhead chandeliers. The crowd quiets down to a hush, and all heads turn expectantly towards the stage as audience members snuggle into their seats and prepare for the highly awaited musical.

In the center front row, DJFiregirl is nearly bouncing in her seat in anticipation, her eyes fixed rampantly on the stage, chanting in a mantra-like voice.

"Bishie, bishie, bishie, bishie...!"

Ashley and Silverscape, who've been unfortunate enough to sit next to DJFiregirl, discreetly pretend not to know her.

Dreamlessdays looks up from where he was reading his book, surprised that the lights have abruptly been cut off. Sighing, he places his beloved _Sabriel_ into his backpack, takes out a honey bun, and turns to the stage expectantly. MidnightSun278 expectantly reaches her hand out, and Dreamlessdays sighs, fishing around in his backpack for an extra honey bun and handing it to her.

Near the middle of the auditorium, the dark-clad Matrix couple looks around at the dimming lights, and the young man's hand flickers towards the weapon at his waist.

"So it begins..."

In the orchestral pit, the orchestra director raises his arms after catching the small red light blinking next to his music stand and begins sweeping them around in smooth, fluid motions. A trumpet blares out the first seven notes of "The Prince is Giving A Ball", and is soon followed by an instrumental medley of "Impossible". The red curtain swings open to reveal a handsomely dressed figure standing in the center of the stage in front of another black curtain.

Slowly and deliberately, a dusky gold spotlight appears on him, lighting the shadows on his face. The spotlight enhances the gold in Tasuki's fire-colored hair, and makes the glitter of his make-up and wings sparkle like magic. He looks debonair in his masculine faerie costume of a golden raw satin shirt unbuttoned to mid-chest, black leather pants, and boots. The faerie wings aren't at all the feminine, cutesy kind that is typical, but are stronger, less cheesy-looking, and accent a very nicely chiseled physique.

In other words, Tasuki looks breathtaking.

DJFiregirl squeals in her seat and nearly dies. Even Ashley is surprised, and settles into her seat more comfortably, breaking out of her sullen pout. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

Up in the balcony, Orlando peers over the edge, and suddenly bursts out into hysterical laughter.

"Bwahahahaha! He's wearing wings!" Al and Big Brother share looks.

"Dude, man," K-Rid scowls, looking ready to toss Orlando over the side of the balcony. "Shut up. It's not funny."

Back on the stage, Tasuki blinks out at the audience, surprised by the sudden cheers and catcalls from the rabid fangirls in the audience. _So…she was right…no embarrassment here…oh, boy…_

The instrumental medley pauses, a signal for Tasuki to start. Tasuki looks down at the director, who waits patiently for him to sing the _a cappella_ prologue. The red-haired seishi suddenly breaks into a smirk, and gazes out at the audience, who are still staring at him in rapt attention. Tasuki crosses his arms and sighs.

**_'Impossible_**

****

**_For a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage_**

****

**_Impossible_**

****

**_For a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage'_**

"He can sing too...eek!" DJFiregirl squeals, nearly swooning in a dead faint in her seat. Ashley and Silverscape are in danger of falling directly out of their seats as they squirm even further away from the fangirl.

Backstage, Nashie is grinning widely, thankful that all of Tasuki's previous resentment over his part has vanished out the window. She has grabbed Chichiri's arm in excitement, and he smiles at her as they both peer out into the downstage area. Even Mitsukake has a minute smile on his face as he watches his brother seishi captivate the entire audience.

"Bob, get ready to open the black curtain," he whispers quietly into the mike.

Out on stage, Tasuki takes a step backwards, ready to head towards stage right.

"A slipper made of glass is just a shoe, y'know. And dreamers never make the dream come true." He winks. "'**_Impossible!'"_**

He throws his hands up in the air, and suddenly, the fans in the lip portion of the stage gust up glitter and smoke, and the orchestra explodes into another instrumental medley of "The Prince is Giving a Ball" and "Stepsisters' Lament". The audience gasps in surprise as Tasuki disappears behind the easily rendered special effect and slips behind the curtain, running quickly to make it to stage right before the black curtain opens. While he hurries over to his spot, the lights behind the black curtain come up full onto the village scene, slightly dimmer in the back to create the illusion of depth.

The black curtain slides open as the last of the glitter falls onto the downstage area around the lip of the stage. At seeing the beautifully decorated set, the audience bursts out into a round of applause. The backdrop is of rolling emerald- and teal-colored hills beneath a startling blue sky. A hanging flat designed as an inn and a restaurant is located on stage left, its 3D appearance made even more real by the working door. Littered across the stage are wagons filled with produce, clothing, and flowers.

The chorus, all dressed in simple village clothes not uncommon in the Middle Ages, begin to quietly chat and shop as the curtains open.

As the instrumental continues, Subaru walks from behind one of the wagons, obscured from view before. She is wearing a horrendous purple and orange hat-and-dress monstrosity that may have been considered fashionable if it had at least one thousand less feathers and even fewer ruffles. Some people in the audience squeal in true terror and hide behind their seats.

In the balcony, Orlando bursts out into laughter as his friends recoil in repulsion.

"That's an ugly dress! Bwahahaha!"

"_You're_ ugly."

"Man, why does it look like somebody blew up the Crayola factory?"

In the front row, Ashley hides her face behind her hands and peeks between her fingers.

"I'm so going to have nightmares..." she moans, wincing as Subaru moves across the stage. Silverscape winces and closes her mind, immediately starting to think of happier things, like _Aladdin_. Dreamlessdays blinks at the sudden cacophony of colors, looks down at his honey bun, checks his forehead for a temperature, and then looks down at the ingredients of the honey bun.

DJFiregirl's reaction is less quiet.

"_BRING BACK THE BISHONEN!"_

MidnightSun278 and Silverscape clamp their hands over DJFiregirl's mouth as the audience sends reprimanding looks their way.

Back on the stage, Subaru is soon followed by a pretty blonde wearing a bubblegum pink dress that's even more ridiculous than her "mother's". She is arguing with another familiar-looking girl wearing a sickening yellow and blue lace dress that may have once been considered tasteful if it didn't look so clownish.

Nashie looks out over Mitsukake's shoulder. "Chichiri, how does a Nyan-Nyan get older like that? I thought they're always little brats." Chichiri shrugs slightly.

"A bit of my magic, no da. It's just an illusion spell – though I don't understand why you didn't design the clothes to look somewhat more attractive, no da. Many people in the audience are going to have nightmares, no da." He winces at the onslaught of colors. "Either that, or serious damage to their retinas, na no da."

Back on the stage, Subaru walks around to each of the wagons, beckoning for her two "daughters" to follow.

"Come along now, girls." Yui glares at the suddenly grown Nyan-Nyan, before lifting her head high and following her mother across the stage.

"Hurry it up, Portia."

"You hurry it up, Joy!"

Both girls suddenly whirl around and yell at someone behind them, "Cinderella! Stop dawdling!"

At this cue, Miaka rushes from behind a wagon, her arms loaded down with hatboxes and bags. She's dressed in a simple brown frock with a dirty cream-colored apron. Her hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, though some strands have fallen onto her face, creating a pretty, yet haggard appearance. At the arrival of the main heroine, the audience erupts in cheers and applause as the music swells.

Nashie hops from foot to foot backstage, a nervous smile on her face. "So far, so good." An irritated sigh can be heard over the headset.

"Don't jinx us, Nashie," murmurs Teki.

Subaru, Yui, and Nyan-Nyan pause in front of a wagon selling hats, and Yui grabs one up. It's a horrible apparatus of flowers, fake eggs, and ribbons, all flounced up in the most clashing colors of the universe. Yui is the first to try it on. "What do you think, Mother?" She smiles and strikes a ridiculous pose.

Subaru hesitates. "Well, it's certainly not the sort of thing you see everyday…" Nyan-Nyan grabs the hat off Yui's head, a look of fury on her cherub-like features.

"I saw it first." She also models the hat in a pose even more silly than Yui's, causing the audience to burst into laughter. "How do you think it looks on me, Mother?" Yui rolls her eyes and pretends to choke herself.

"Awful."

Backstage, Chichiri makes a face. "Where in the world did you find such an ugly hat?"

Nashie, without turning her attention from the stage, responds, "Oh, that old thing? I just visited a church and found it in the lost and found area." Mitsukake grimaces as the girls begin snatching that hat from each other's heads.

"You mean someone wore that out in public? _Willingly_?"

The three stage crew members shudder at the thought of the humiliation someone would go through to supposedly look fashionable.

On stage, Subaru looks from one daughter to the next, obviously disgusted with the appearance of the hat. "How can a mother choose between two such _extraordinary_ daughters?" Yui and Nyan-Nyan share a look, and both make a grab for the hat. Glaring fiercely at each other, they storm up to Miaka, who is watching a young man in the chorus give a woman a brightly blooming rose, a look of longing on her face.

"Cinderella! Cinderella!" Miaka turns around as Yui rushes up to her, placing the hat on her head and twirling. "Do you think the hat looks better on me?" Nyan-Nyan snatches the hat and pulls it low over her brow.

"Or me?" Miaka frowns, looking confused. She looks at the hat and then at the two sisters.

"Well, I don't know much about hats…but I don't think it flatters either one of you." Both Yui and Nyan-Nyan look appalled, and glower at Miaka who only blinks innocently.

"What did you ask HER for?"

"She doesn't know much about hats. She said so herself!"

The audience laughs as Yui and Nyan-Nyan tug at the hat, and then go storming off to Subaru, leaving behind a baffled Miaka, who watches them go, still holding onto the armload of boxes and bags.

Nashie also chuckles, but stops once she hears someone call her over the headset. "Huh? Say that again, Chiriko, I didn't hear you."

"Um, Nashie?"

"Yeah...?"

"We have three very large problems that you probably will not be too happy to hear."

Mitsukake and Nashie share wary looks at the message, and Nashie suddenly feels a growing pit of despair in her stomach. Not even five minutes into the play, and something was already wrong? She chews her bottom lip nervously, and rubs her palms on her jeans.

"What is it, Chiriko?" she asks hesitantly, not really wanting to know the answer. A sigh can be heard from the other side of the headset, and the pit in Nashie's stomach grows.

"Well, the first problem – Tasuki is suffering from glitter inhalation. He's been having coughing fits over here for awhile now, and nothing we can do can stop him." The young woman's eyes widen.

"Oh, Gen-chan...I'll be _right_ over. Keep talking, Chiriko. What else is wrong?"

"Nuriko's mike is broken. We're going to need a new one." Nashie mutters darkly as she crosses behind the curtain behind the backdrop.

"How did _that_ happen?"

"He was trying to help Tasuki. Tasuki got upset. Sometime afterwards, the mike got broken."

A groan from Sake. "Those two…"

"Sake-chan, you hear that?"

"Yeah, I hear it. Oh, man. I'm glad we have some extra mikes in here. I'll be right over." Nashie breathes a sigh of relief. At least one problem was solved…but as for the last one…

"And the third problem...?"

"Tamahome's locked himself in the make-up room." A hesitant pause from Chiriko. "It's locked from the outside and no one knows where the stage keys are." Nashie stops dead in her tracks, her jaw almost literally dropping to the ground.

"Say WHAT?"

"Honestly, I don't know how it happened either. But I'm fairly certain that it was an accident. We can't get it open yet because Nuriko is busy with Tasuki. MoonshadowJedi took of her headset and she and Hotohori are trying to pick the lock, but to no avail."

"But Tamahome has less than two minutes to get onto stage! Grr..."

The pissed off director emerges onto stage right, and runs towards the clustered group near the edge of the wings. Nuriko is gently patting Tasuki on the back as he continues coughing up various bits of glitter, his face slightly red from the exertion. Chiriko has wisely moved them away from the curtain so no one can hear the crisis at hand.

Nashie kneels next to Tasuki, placing a hand on his shoulder. "How much did you inhale...?"

"(wheez)...too much...(cough)...gah...(choke)..." A soft, sad look comes across Nashie's face.

"Oh, Gen-chan, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would do that..." She turns to Chiriko. "Can you get me a glass of water? Most likely, all of this is lodged in his throat." Tasuki blinks and glances suspiciously at Nashie as he coughs a little more.

"Water?"

"It'll make it easier to swallow. And don't give me that hurt look. Shiny paper is harmless, and won't do anything to your digestive tract. Take this from someone who used to regularly eat sticky tape as a five-year-old." She gives him a reassuring smile, though Nuriko is glancing at Nashie wide-eyed at the prospect of eating paper…

At that moment, Sake walks up to the group, an extra body mike in her hands. She gives Tasuki a sympathetic look, before grabbing Nuriko's arm and dragging him towards the make-up room. "I need _you_ to break Tamahome out of the make-up room and to put this new mike on, so don't argue with me, and just do it!" She and the unfortunate seishi disappear into the shadows of the corridor.

"Glad I have Sake-chan to count on," Nashie mutters as her headset crackles to life.

"Miaka's beginning "The Sweetest Sounds"," informs Teki, a slightly worried tone to her voice. "You all have around a minute to get Tamahome in his place." Nashie bites her lip as her hand begins to shake in frustration.

"Great."

Chiriko returns with a full glass of water, and hands it to Nashie. Nashie mouths a 'thank you' to the small boy, and prods Tasuki gently with her hand. He gives her a wary look as he takes the glass from her and begins to down the water. Nashie soothingly rubs his back as he drinks the entire glass, smiling softly as he makes a face when a piece of glitter slightly scratches against his throat.

Tasuki draws his brows together and coughs slightly. "Hmm...I feel…oddly better." Nashie cheers and pats him on the back.

"I was right then – most of the glitter was in your throat." She grins widely, crossing her arms and looking awfully smug about herself. "So I just saved your life." Tasuki scowls.

"Great, I owe my life to..._wait_, you tricked me! Twice!"

"Sure, Gen-chan."

"You did!"

"I believe you, Gen-chan."

Tasuki is about to reply when a blur rushes past them, only recognizable by turquoise-colored hair. Tasuki lets out a loud curse, stumbling backwards, while Nashie falls back on her heels and onto her behind rather disgracefully.

Out on stage, Miaka is finishing up the last line of the verse, her sweet soprano drifting clearly across the audience.

**_'And the dearest love in all the world_**

****

**_Is waiting somewhere for me_**

****

**_Is waiting somewhere, somewhere for me'_**

"Cinderella!" Subaru exclaims, storming over to her and placing another hatbox onto of the two Miaka's already juggling to hold. Yui glares distastefully at Miaka, flouncing past her.

"Have you ever seen such a lazy girl in your life?" Nyan-Nyan blinks as she brings up the rear of the trio.

"Who are you calling lazy?"

"Not you, stupid. Cinderella."

"Oh..._wait_. Who are you calling stupid?"

The quartet moves around the village, peering at other wagons while Tamahome, dressed in a dark burgundy shirt and black slacks, wanders off into stage, still slightly flushed from his rush to get to his cue on time. A squeal of delight can be heard from the fangirls in the audience, especially from a certain fiery-haired one from the front row. Soon, his pleasing baritone soars out across the stage. Nashie grins and breathes a sigh of relief as the three disasters are easily diverted. Hotohori joins them, and kneels down next to them.

"Are you alright, Tasuki?"

"For someone who now has a thousand fuckin' pieces of shit linin' his esophagus, I'm doin' just fine." Nashie hugs him.

"See? My Gen-chan is doing just peachy!"

"Yeah, yeah..." comes the muttered reply. Nashie gives him a playful noogie

"Don't look so depressed, Gen-chan. It gives you wrinkles! Then, you'll like Taiitsukun!"

She laughs as Hotohori flinches and Tasuki makes a face. She turns her attention back to the stage to watch as the drama and singing unfolds.

-à-à-

Out in the lobby, the door opens from the outside, and a darkly-clothed figure walks in, completely oblivious to the cold air and rushing wind. The person is wearing a heavy black cloak, with a hood pulled over their head, obscuring their facial features in shadows. The figure strolls past the ticket counter and the young man waiting there, ignoring him.

"Excuse me!" the ticket boy exclaims, his eyes widening. "You can't go in there without a ticket! You need a ticket!" The figure smiles and turns to the young man, blue eyes glittering from beneath the coat.

"I am sure it will be fine if I entered without permission. What harm could come of it?" A brief frown. "Besides, I am already here. Why take the ticket from me now?" The young man rolls his eyes heavenward and manages to count to ten. _I certainly didn't sign up for this kind of job! Stupid employment agencies…!_

"Listen, I'm really sorry. But you need a ticket or I'm going to have to call security." The smile from the mysterious woman returns and she brushes past the counter.

"Do not be foolish. You cannot _dare_ call security on me."

Without saying another word, the mysterious stranger sweeps into the right hallways and disappears from sight. The young man shares a look with the older woman at the coat check, who looks as surprised and annoyed as he does. The young man fidgets as he tries not to think what Nashie will do to him when she finds out he let in someone without a ticket that was NOT on her special invitee list.

-à-à-


	5. 2B: Like Breathing Underwater

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 2:B – LIKE BREATHING UNDERWATER

Meanwhile, on stage, Tamahome is helping Miaka pick her scattered bags up from the ground after she just bumped into a handful of royal guards. The crowd mingles around them as they stand up and smile at each other.

"Thanks," Miaka murmurs sweetly, blushing. "Thanks for your help." She begins to walk away, but Tamahome is prepared not to let her go that easily.

"Wait!" he exclaims, jogging next to her. "What's your name?"

A quiet answer. "Cinderella." Tamahome blinks and frowns, stopping.

"Pardon?" Miaka turns back to him, her head bowed shyly before she lifts it and meets his gaze evenly.

"Cinderella. I like to sit by the fire, and the cinders fly, and my face gets smudged." A moment of realization dawns on Tamahome's face, and he smiles widely.

"Oh. Cinder-_Ella_. I like it." Miaka gives him a funny look before nodding briefly and turning to walk away.

"Well, it grows on you, I guess. E-excuse me."

Backstage, Sake comes from the make-up room, an annoyed look on her face. Nashie turns around to face her from where she is comfortably leaning against Tasuki who has unwillingly become a human armchair, and abruptly starts from the upset glower on her friend's face. "What's up, Sake-chan?" Sake doesn't even turn to acknowledge them, just continues to stomp over to the curtain, muttering under her breath.

"Stupid battery is broken. I have to go get another mike." She disappears behind the far curtain. Tasuki glances at Nashie and cocks his head to the side.

"Well, at least there are two crisis deserted." Nashie rolls her eyes and lightly punches him on the shoulder. Chiriko walks over to them and then squats down to the ground, peering out at the stage (thank goodness for cordless headsets!)

"Nashie, are you going to stay over here?" Nashie waves her hand lazily, giving Chiriko a heartening wink.

"Nah. Just until the scene change. Besides, Tasuki makes a nice chair." To emphasize this point, she snuggles more deeply into Tasuki's arms, who scowls and shifts uncomfortably. Chiriko smiles and laughs quietly, turning his attention back to the stage.

"You better hope no one needs your help before then," Mitsukake warns over the mike. Nashie smirks.

"I'm a fast runner. I can get to the other side in time. Oh, and can you tell Chichiri that when the curtain closes, I'm going to need his help moving the wagons off stage? Thanks, hon."

"Yes, O Master," comes the dry remark. "Whatever it is you will, I am your eternal servant." Nashie giggles.

"Shut up, you goof."

"Hey, guys," Teki interrupts quietly, as if distracted by something. "Miku wants to know if we're going to need another spotlight soon. She has to use the little girl's room." Nashie frowns. _How can you tell if she never talks…is she doing the pee-pee dance or something?_

"Um..." The young director peers out onto the stage. "Can she wait until this scene ends? We have to keep the spotlight on Tamahome and Miaka until they both leave. It should be over soon. They're already on their 'sheltered life' thing. So, I'm going to say...a little less than three minutes?" She turns to Bob. "You got that, Bob? Three minutes until the black curtain closes, and then we're switching to the palace scene." Chiriko blinks.

"The palace scene?"

"Yup. Tama-chan, Chichiri, Hotohori, and Nuriko. Plus, another song. Yeah." She begins humming the harmony to "The Prince is Giving a Ball", ignoring the face Tasuki makes at her.

"Ack! The singin'! It's hurtin' my ears!" Of course, Nashie _doesn't_ ignore the comment and jabs Tasuki in the ribs.

"Shut up!"

Out on the stage, Tamahome and Miaka bid their farewells as the wicked stepfamily calls Miaka back to them, chiding her for talking to strangers. As they depart, they both sing the reprise of "The Sweetest Sounds", Tamahome watching as Miaka joins her family.

**_'The most entrancing sight of all _**

****

**_Is yet for me to see...'_**

**_'And the dearest love in all the world _**

****

**_Is waiting somewhere for me...'_**

**_"Is waiting somewhere, somewhere for me..."_**

"Cinderella!"

Miaka snaps of her reverie, and turns to follow her family to yet another wagon, as Tamahome departs on stage left. The music in the pit swells into the instrumental version of the duet as the lights dim, and the curtains sweep close. The audience cheers and applauds at the closing scene, some very cool people in the crowd whistling. Hotohori offers a hand to Nashie, and pulls her up off the floor.

"Ah!" Nashie says with a reluctant sigh, already missing her comfortable bishie cushion. "Back to work. I'm going to go get Nuriko, guys. Sake, I'll bring him to stage left." She waves at Bob. "Bob, bring down number 12."

"Hurry up," Sake says over the headset. "Remember these scene changes are supposed to be quick." Nashie pantomimes choking herself, and then runs down the hallway to the make-up room, and swings the door open. Nuriko is sitting in a chair, knees drawn to his chest, looking bored. His corset is undone, and lying on the table next to him. Nashie grins.

"How is my all-time favourite seishi doing?" Nuriko makes a face at her before smiling.

"Great. I'm still trying to remember all those names in that stupid song." He quietly murmurs the song under his breath. "His Royal Highness Christopher Rupert..." Nashie winks at him, picking up the corset.

"Hey, at least you don't have to do Chichiri's part!"

"No, I have to do my part and that's bad enough. Although, I do get to kiss Hotohori-sama in here." A wicked smile creeps across his face. "I think you purposely put that song in there just to make me happy." Nashie hugs Nuriko briefly, an cumbersome task due to the corset in her hand.

"I like making my seishi happy. Now, come on. We still have to get the mike on you, and I have to run over and help Chichiri with the wagons. Unless, of course, Mitsukake can help him out. I should get Bob to help them before he lowers the palace backdrop."

"Hurry up, Nashie!" Sake nearly hells over the radio, causing Nashie to wince.

"Ack! I'm coming!" She grabs Nuriko's arm. "We have to make a run for it."

"You want me to run in a _dress_? And I hate that thing," he complains, pointing at the corset. "Sake always ties it on too tight!"

"You're only on stage for, like, five minutes. Wing it and suffer."

She makes a break for the door, pulling Nuriko behind her. They dash down the hallways, past the wings of stage right, and onto the stage itself. The wagons are already clear, thanks to a spell done especially by Chichiri, and the palace backdrop and a flat representing a wall separating the hallway from the king and queen's library are lowered. Nashie ducks through the doorway in the flat, and right towards Sake, who is glowering hard enough to put a hole in the floor.

"What's all this about dawdling?" She begins to adjust the mike on Nuriko's costume as Nashie glances around.

"Chichiri? Tama-chan? Are they…?" Hotohori walks up to the group, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles in his vest.

"They're already on their spots. As we should be." He gives Nashie a pointed look.

"Hey, I'm sorry, okay? It's not my fault his batteries went dead."

"We're ready on stage left," Mitsukake calls over the radio, and same thing is echoed by Chiriko. A few muffled thumps can be heard from one person's headset, and soon, MoonshadowJedi's voice comes over all the earpieces, apologizing.

"Wait just a sec. Tamahome has to change his shirt...would you _give_ that to me? No, you're supposed to put _this_ one on...Chichiri, you know what to do, make sure he doesn't choke himself to death..." Her voice dims out, and Nashie sighs, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Two minutes..." Teki says. "That's more than enough time for a scene change. We should open the curtains now...the orchestra is about to end the reprise..." Sake grinds her teeth.

"I'm going! I'm going! Crap!"

She quickly ties the laces to Nuriko's corset, except, in her rush, ties them a little TOO tight. Nuriko lets out a gasp as the air is forcibly driven from his lungs, and stumbles forward. Sake gives him a look before grabbing Nashie's arm, and making a break for stage left. Nuriko tries calling out to them, but finds that he has no air to do so...

"Alright! I'm done!"

"Curtains! Curtains!"

The two manage to dive into the wings just as the black curtains slide open. Teki brings up the blue and red lights to create a soft lavender glow intermingling with the white spotlights. The palace backdrop consists of tall marble walls with hanging tapestries of every color and subject matter. The flat posing as a wall is far upstage so that those sitting in the far left and right extremities of the theatre can still see all the action on the stage. The library portion of the wall is adorned with tall bookshelves, courteously placed there by Chichiri. In the upstage portion of stage right is another flat, created like an archway, dully lit in the back by a warm green and pale yellow spotlight, creating the illusion of the outdoors. The library area is currently still in the shadows.

Nashie wipes her forehead. "That was a close one." Sake gives Nashie a look as she gets to her feet and wipes off the dust on her black pants.

"I'm going back to the sound booth," she grumbles. "And this time I'm staying there. Next time, I'll send C-Guy out."

"Sake-chaaaaan, you know my Spanish is terrible!"

"Then, this'll be good practice for you."

Nashie scowls, and Mitsukake just shakes his head in exasperation as Sake heads back towards the sound booth. Tama-neko pokes his out from the hood in his sweatshirt and meows sympathetically.

As the music dies down, Chichiri and Tamahome enter from the archway, passing by a few chorus members posing as servants. As the two pass, the servants either bow or curtsy. Tamahome is currently buttoning up a white dress shirt as Chichiri, wearing a smart-looking all-black suit with a deep violet shirt, follows behind, holding a wine-colored vest. A large number of fangirls start cheering and sending cat calls from audience, but the two seishi pretend not to notice.

"Why? Why the disappearing act again? Your Highness, after I beg you, no da!"

"I had a wonderful time today, Lionel," Tamahome sighs, running a hand through his hair. "Nobody treated me like a prince! What a relief to be among real people!" Chichiri grabs Tamahome's shoulders and spins him around to face him.

"Let me tell you something, no da. Real people are not all they're cracked up to be, no da! I'm a real person – does that tell you anything? Believe me, they are all out there wishing they could be you, no da." Tamahome fumbles with the buttons on his shirt, earning a small groan in the front from DJFiregirl, who was happily assessing the seventeen-year-old's chest.

"Because they have no idea what it's really like!" Chichiri cocks his head to the side and holds out the vest for Tamahome to slip on.

"Help me out, no da. You are rich, you live in a beautiful palace, you have gorgeous women throwing themselves all over you, no da!" He pauses dramatically before throwing his hands up in the air. "Is there something I'm not getting?" Tamahome takes the vest after giving Chichiri a look and shrugs it on.

"I have no life of my own! _Everything_'s decided for me. _Where_ I go, _what_ I do, _who_ I see!"

Though he is slightly turned away from the audience, they can hear the frustration in his voice, and many almost feel guilty for wanting the life of the rich and famous. Those who are actually fortunate enough to be part of the aforementioned rich and famous agree with the statement, and listen more intently to the conversation.

"Your Highness!" Chichiri grabs his arms and gives Tamahome a harsh look. "This disappearing thing has got to stop, no da! It is too dangerous." Tamahome rolls his eyes.

"It's perfectly safe, Lionel." Chichiri frowns.

"I'm not worried about you – I'm worried about _me_, no da! I can't keep lying to your mother. They have laws against that sort of thing, na no da."

Tamahome and Chichiri stop outside the door leading to the library. Tamahome smoothes out his vest, shoots Chichiri a rambunctious grin before entering. Chichiri groans and bangs his head against the wall.

"If he wants to kill me, why does he not just trample me with his carriage and get it over with, no da!" He sighs and falls Tamahome into the room.

The lights come up on full in the library, creating a soft golden glow contrasting to the pale lavender of the hallway. The scene illuminates Hotohori and Nuriko sitting at a table, peering over a chess set. Hotohori is dressed chicly in a dark mauve suit, so dark it's nearly black, with a wine-colored cloak, and his hair is pulled into a low loose ponytail. Nuriko, sitting across from him, is still wearing the blue and violet dress from earlier (though the corset is noticeably tighter), hair piled on top of his head in a sleek upsweep, kept in place by pearl clips. Both of them make a ravishing pair, and a collective gasp comes from the audience when they catch sight of the two bishonen.

DJFiregirl squeals from the front row, bouncing up and down in her seat. "Ahhh! Hotohori-sama! Nuriko-chan!"

The others in her party scoot away from her.

Tamahome grins, entering into the room, not noticing Nuriko's slightly blue face and glazed eyes. "You wanted to see me, Mother?" Nuriko doesn't respond. Chichiri follows Tamahome into the room, and takes a customary stand by the door, giving Tamahome a glowering look. Tamahome clears his throat.

"Mother?"

Still nothing.

Backstage, Nashie shares a look with Mitsukake, biting her lip. Mitsukake shakes his head and shrugs – he can only see the violet-haired seishi's back. He watches as Hotohori lifts his head slightly, and quietly whispers his brother seishi's name. Still, nothing.

"What's going on?" demands Nashie, clicking her teeth together. "He didn't freeze up on me, did he?" Louder so the others can hear her, she asks, "Sake-chan, is the mike working?"

"It better be! I checked it!"

"Can you guys see on stage right?" Chiriko sighs.

"No, not a thing."

"The wall is in the way!" Nashie grimaces, and waves briefly to Chichiri. The magician looks up at the movement, and, seeing Nashie's questioning look, also delivers a brief shrug. Nashie scowls, and digs her nails into her palms. Twenty-five minutes into the musical, and already someone had frozen up. Mitsukake places a hand on her shoulder to restrain her temper.

"Teki...? Can you see anything? What's up?"

"Um, all I can see...Nuriko's kind of slumped over, shaking a bit. Wait, wait...oh, _no_!" Suddenly, there is a muffled thump from the stage. Nashie spins her head in the general direction, and sees a stunned look of surprise and worry appear on Tamahome and Chichiri's faces. Hotohori also gets to his feet as a communal gasp erupts from the audience. Some people in the crowd snicker, but are quickly silenced by friends.

"Damn it!" Nashie exclaims, punching her fist into her palm. "What the hell happened, Teki?"

"Oh, man. This is _not_ good! Close the curtain! Nuriko's passed out!"

"Bob, close the curtain, now!"

"Wait a second…" comes Sake's confused voice over the headset frequency. "Nuriko did _what_?"

The black curtains swiftly close on the scene, but the overhead lights remain on. Before they can even close, Nashie races out onto the set, just barely managing to avoid one of the chorus singers, and scrambles over to the table, to where the other four seishi are. Nuriko has indeed fainted, and Chichiri is holding the smaller seishi's head in his lap.

"Oh, man...oh, man...did he choke on something or what?" Hotohori shakes his head, looking just as concerned as Nashie.

"That's how he was when the lights came on..." Chichiri places two fingers on the small warrior's throat and frowns.

"He's not choking on anything...but he's definitely not breathing." The other Suzaku seishi have already joined them on the stage, minus Bob and MoonshadowJedi who are doing damage control on stage left – Nashie can hear their hushed whispers over the headset and quickly turns her off so they won't get too worried over the current situation. Tasuki looks down at Nashie, eyes wide and a slightly panicked look starting to brighten in them.

"Nashie, what's going on here?"

"I don't know...I don't _know_..." She closes her eyes. "Why the hell didn't I pay more attention in first aid class?"

"What's happening?" Sake wails from within the sound room. Mitsukake immediately tells her to calm down before relating the situation to her. There's a brief silence on the other side until a squawk of realization comes.

"Oh, Suzaku! I'm so _stupid_! How could I have…_Nashie_! Untie the damn corset! I think I tied it on too tight!" Nashie glances down at the corset, and sees that it is indeed infinitely tighter than what it had been earlier. Her eyes widen, and she gives Chichiri a look. The blue-haired monk very gently shifts the unconscious seishi in his arms so that Nashie has access to the corset strings. The director sidles up to him and quickly begins undoing the laces.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon..."

Nuriko coughs.

Nashie blinks at the reaction as Nuriko coughs, drawing precious air into his lungs. "(choke)...Sake-chan...(gasp)...dies...(wheeze)" He is immediately silenced as Miaka and Nashie jump onto him in the most ferocious hug he's ever received, and falls backwards, taking Chichiri with them, causing all four of them to fall back onto the floor.

"Thank Suzaku!"

"Don't scare us like that again!" Nuriko looks slightly dazed from being jumped by two girls, and Chichiri struggles to remove himself from the pile-up.

"We both still need air, no da!" At this comment, Nashie and Miaka reluctantly pull away from the two unfortunate seishi. Nuriko gives them a long glower before pulling himself up from the floor. He gives the eye to all the others giving him relived and sympathetic looks.

"Okay. Enough. On with the show, people." Tasuki shifts uncomfortably.

"Shit, you had us scared there for a second, y'know?" Nuriko smiles at him and cuffs him gently.

"Thanks, Tasuki."

Nashie takes a deep breath and stands up. "Okay, y'all. Problem solved. Back to work." She glares at Tasuki who gives a startled glower. "Yes, back to work. We're not about to postpone this tonight because of one little misstep. Back to your places. Let's take it from where Chichiri's saying that it's dangerous for him to lie to the queen." When no one moves, her hands go to her hips and a dark look enters into her eyes. "_Now_, people."

The gathered group of Suzaku warriors (plus the two extra members of stage crew) all share similar looks before retreating back to their designated spots. Hotohori helps a still woozy Nuriko to his feet and back into the chair, gaining him a dazzling, thankful smile. Tamahome grabs Chichiri's arm and pulls him back into the hallway. Nashie gives Nuriko a slight squeeze on the shoulder before retreating back to stage left.

"Tell Bob to open the curtains."

Mitsukake relays the message, and the curtains open up again, revealing the hallway/library scene once again. The minute Chichiri starts talking, Nashie slides down against the wall, brings her knees to her chest, and begins crying. Mitsukake kneels down next to her, and places a calming hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, Nashie. No harm was done."

"Five minutes...five minutes...he coulda d-diiiiied..."

"Didn't you hear what Nuriko said?" Mitsukake asks quietly. "He assured us he was fine. And he's going to be okay. When this scene is over, I'll give him a brief check-up to make sure he'll be okay." Somehow, this doesn't seem to reassure Nashie, who buries her head even further in her arms.

"W-what...kind of...director...am I? I wasn't…even…stage manager…at schoooool…not...even...thirty...m-minutes...into the s-stupid play...and...someone...was...h-hurt...a-and...it w-was...all...m-my...faaault..." She breaks down into ragged sobs. Mitsukake shakes her by the shoulders slightly, and forces her to look up into his eyes.

"It is not your fault. And it's not your fault either, Sake. We were rushing so it could be right, and some things just got slightly out of hand. No one is hurt, and everything's going to be fine, you hear me?" Tama-neko meows in agreement.

"Yeah..." She wipes her eyes and takes in a deep breath. "I have to be more careful next time, right?"

Mitsukake smiles. "We can only do our best here." Nashie returns the smile shakily, rubbing her reddened eyes self-consciously.

"O-okay. On with the show, right? It wouldn't do for everybody to see their director-OOMPH!" Nashie is abruptly sent back into the wall by a red-haired force of nature. She blinks rapidly into the red-gold hair obscuring her view, and turns to blink at Mitsukake, who is smiling quietly, and shaking his head. Nashie shifts slightly in Tasuki's arms, and slightly pushes back on him. "Gen-chan..."

Tasuki pulls her away and holds her away at arm length, glaring. "Chiriko said you were cryin' and you can't cry 'cause you're the fuckin' director, and if you cry, then everybody will cry, and then we'll all be a sorry-ass lookin' group…"

"Even you?" Tasuki seems to be caught off guard and he looks away.

"No...not me..." Nashie frowns as he trails off, wondering why he ran to this side of the stage so fast to comfort her. She pauses and then looks at Mitsukake before turning her attention back to Tasuki.

"After this act is over," she says quietly. "I want you to talk to you, okay?" She gives him a brief hug. "So, don't disappear anywhere." Mitsukake gives the two a look and shakes his head.

"Nashie..." The director turns to him, and gives him a small smile.

"You can take care of things while I'm gone, can't you? I'll be gone for maybe five minutes, ten at the tops. You guys here that?" she asks as she turns her headset back on. "I'll be taking a break for intermission, so don't look for me."

"You okay, Nashie?" Teki asks, concern weaved into her voice.

"I'm better, thanks to Mits-san," the girl reassures, glancing at Mitsukake. "But, I just need a breather, okay. I don't want to break down before the night is over." She shoots a grin towards Tasuki.

Out in the front row of the theatre, Silverscape gives MidnightSun278 a worried look as the scene continues on as scheduled. "Do you think that was part of script?" MidnightSun278 gives the dark-haired young woman a shrug, a frown on her face.

"Unless they were just buying time...at this rate, the musical will be over within an hour!"

"When's the intermission?" Ashley bluntly asks. Of course, this does nothing by aggravate DJFiregirl.

"The intermission?" she exclaims, her voice lanced with outrage. "With all those bishonen on the stage, you're thinking about intermission?" She goes off into a quiet rant.

On stage, Tamahome looks at a long roll of paper and shakes his head, placing it back down on the table next to Nuriko. "Mother, you can't keep doing this." Nuriko gives him a stunned, confused look.

"_What_?" He turns to Hotohori. "Max, what's he saying?"

Hotohori doesn't even bother to look up from the chess set as he replies, "I think he's saying that he doesn't want to have another ball." Nuriko laughs, rolling his eyes.

"No, he's not." He turns to Tamahome, who has simply raised an eyebrow. Nuriko gives him a long 'you're kidding, right?' look, which Tamahome returns with a 'no, I'm not' look. Nuriko lets out a gasp as the message sinks in, and he sits down on the chair, placing his hand over his heart.

Tamahome sighs. "Here we go."

"Max! My smelling salts." When Hotohori fails to look up from the game, Nuriko kicks him under the table. Hotohori looks up at Nuriko's glare and sighs. He rises out of his seat (earning more than a few catcalls from the cheerful fangirls in the audience), and places a hand on Tamahome's shoulder.

"Chris, it's simple really. All your mother and I want is for you to be happy."

"Happiness has nothing to do with it!" Hotohori and Tamahome level a look at Nuriko for the outburst. Nuriko blinks, realizes what he's said, and laughs nervously rising to his feet. "Hehehe...I mean, of course, we WANT you to be happy." He walks over to Tamahome. "It's just that you have...um...certain obligations..."

Backstage, Nashie manages to peek out at the scene. "Damn it...why isn't he putting his arm around him...?"

"Huh?" MoonshadowJedi blinks. "What, like Hotohori siding with Tamahome or something…?" Nashie wrinkles her nose, but shrugs.

"And disappoint all his fans?" Tasuki says with a grin as he glances at Hotohori.

"Hey, I know a lot of people who like their relationship. Namely, me. Which is why I added that "Boys and Girls" song." She glares at him. "I don't need either of them to choke right now, and not do it." MoonshadowJedi emits a confused noise from the other end of the headsets, but she mostly goes ignored.

"Don't change subjects on me, you guys," the short young woman groans. "And speaking of that song, Nashie, I don't know if I'll be able to get a good shot…"

"Hey, at least you guys get to see what's going on!" Sake exclaims, frustrated. "I swear, I'm coming out for that kiss! That's the highlight of the whole night." Nashie's brow furrows as Sake's words hit her.

"Wait a sec...the highlight of the evening is the ball. Are you telling me you just agreed to do the sound to spend time with Nuriko and Hotohori? You can't do that! It's illegal!"

"Why?"

"Because you are not allowed to have them as favourites."

"Nashie, you have like all the breathing males in Fushigi Yugi as your favourites. First, it was Nuriko, then it was Tasuki, then Mitsukake, then Hotohori, then Chichiri, then Tamahome..." Nashie laughs evilly.

"You can have Ashitare."

"Ewwwww! He's not even human!"

"Fine, then. Take Miboshi. But all the Suzaku seishi are mine!" In the background, Mitsukake and Tasuki share looks, neither of them looking too pleased at being discussed as if they were objects.

"It's nice to know I'm being argue for as property," Mitsukake murmured to the fire-haired seishi. "Last time I checked, I didn't belong to anyone. Unless I have dog tag around my neck that I wasn't aware of." Tasuki nods, and gives Nashie a sharp look.

"Yo, Nashie. Y'know we can still hear you arguin' about us, right? I mean, it's nice to be cared about so much, but you guys are fuckin' crazy." Nashie crosses her eyes at him and sticks out her tongue.

"Shhh. It has to be quiet backstage." A frustrated and outraged Tasuki gestures wildly at her.

"Whatdya fuckin' mean it has to be quiet backstage, huh? You're the one talkin' the loudest outta all of us!"

"Either hush up or go back to the make-up room."

"Screw you, Nashie!" An innocent simper appears on Nashie's face as she takes all of Tasuki's in stride.

"Where, when, and how hard?" Over the mike, there are few choking sounds. Nashie grins at the reaction, and scratches behind her head, knowing that no one in crew ever expected her to retort to such a sexually-explicit comment. Of course, they also don't know that stage crew always beings out the bad girl part of her that usually lies dormant and quiet all other times.

"Geez, Nashie. We did _not_ need to hear that."

"Don't you dare put the moves on MY Tasuki," Sake fumes as MoonshadowJedi begins laughing in the background.

"I'm not putting anything on him." A sudden grin appears on her face as she winks at Tasuki. "But he can put whatever he wants on me." Mitsukake sighs and rubs his temples, looking a bit exasperated by the fact that he has to be the responsible adult of the group.

"Nashie, you do know what Chiriko can hear you too? And, unlike you, he still can't get into movies where scenes like this are commonplace. So, I would stop with innuendo." Nashie blinks and suddenly turns a rather interesting shade of red that can be seen even through her dark skin.

"Oh, crap. I'm sorry Chiriko! I was just on a role…I don't have those too often…"

"Don't worry about me. I hear worse from Tasuki."

"I'm so glad I'm not over there with the camera right now," laughs MoonshadowJedi. "My family is going to want to see this tape, you know. So let's try to keep it in the PG rating? Okay?"

"Yeah, I agree," Teki murmurs. "Please. Miku's on headset and my poor virgin ears can't take much more of this. But heads up, guys. Tamahome just bolted from the library. We're switching back to the village scene."

"Have the stepevils changed into their second village costumes?" Nashie asks.

"Yes. They're waiting for the scene change." Nashie glances to her right, where the door connecting the hallway to the wings is currently cracked open – the chorus is awaiting their turn for the next scene as well. She grins, finally glad that things are getting back on track.

On stage, Nuriko grabs the lapel on Chichiri's coat and shoves a scroll of paper and a feather pen into his hands. "This is a proclamation from the prince." Chichiri raises an eyebrow.

"Your Majesties, I couldn't help but overhearing, and I don't think that the Prince–" He gulps as Nuriko fizes him with a sharp glare.

"Lionel. Just take this down." He crosses his arms and begins to walk downstage.

**_'His Royal Highness, Christopher Rupert _**

****

**_Windermere Vladimir Carl Alexander _**

****

**_François Reginald Lancelot Herman…'_**

Chichiri pauses in writing. "Herman, no da?" Nuriko nods.

"Herman. **_'Gregory James'_**…he'll thank us for it later…**_'is giving a ball!'_**"

The lights on stage go dark, and a round of applause soars from the audience. Nashie squirms inside, glad that they hadn't started booing, and the rush of anxiety that had appeared in the pit of her stomach disappears. She grins cheerfully to herself before realizing that the other members from stage crew are waiting for their cues for a scene change. She berates herself for letting her mind wander before giving Mitsukake the go-ahead nod.

"Scene change...now!"

-à-à-


	6. 2C: Enter the ChaCha Slide

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 2:C – ENTER THE CHA-CHA SLIDE

The orchestra explodes into the first chords of "The Prince is Giving A Ball" while backstage, stage crew makes one of the fastest scene chances in the musical. Nashie and Mitsukake race out onto the stage even as the black curtain is still closing, and began rolling the bookshelf and the table back into the wings, getting assistance from both Nuriko and Hotohori. From stage right, MoonshadowJedi and Chiriko run to Chichiri, who is quickly murmuring spells beneath his breath for the wagons to come out. The flats for the palace scene are quickly being lifted, replaced by the village backdrop and the inn/restaurant flat.

Nashie shoves the table into a cranny in the wings, before running back on stage to give MoonshadowJedi a hand with changing Chichiri's costume. "Chiriko, go back to stage right, and make sure that the stepevils are ready for their parts. Teki, we need work lights. I can't see anything back here except for the black lights in the wings. It's pitch-black back here."

"Wait a sec," MoonshadowJedi says as she hands the video camera to Chiriko. "Chiriko, take that back to stage right and leave it in my chair. I have a flashlight in my pocket. I'll hold it while you put the vest on."

MoonshadowJedi pulls out the flashlight, flipping it on. Nashie makes a grab for the gold-and-violet embroidered vest hanging on her friend's shoulders, and quickly strips Chichiri of his suit jacket. The blue-haired young man is still currently concentrating on the spells, and Nashie makes sure not to disturb him as she slips on the vest and begins to button it up.

"Monks have very nice physiques..."

"Oh, no!" growls Sake. "You are NOT going after Chichiri, too."

"Sorry, Sake-chan. I can't do that one. Student's Desk Reference, page 336." She pats Chichiri on the shoulder. "There you go!" Chichiri looks behind him.

"The wagons are out."

"Yup. You're a life saver, 'Chiri." She gives him a brief wave before quickly walking back over to the stage left wings. "We've got an a-okay from the director!" She gestures towards Mitsukake who nods.

"Curtains, Bob."

The curtains open to once again reveal the village scene, the orchestra finishing up the introductory chord to "The Prince is Giving a Ball". Chichiri stands in the center of the stage, on top of a brightly colored crate, a bright spotlight on him as he unfolds the scroll given to him. More cheering from Chichiri fans in the audience.

**_ 'The prince is giving a ball!'_**

At the announcement, the villagers all turn and beginning murmuring among themselves, gathering around Chichiri as he peers down at the scroll.

**_ 'His Royal Highness Christopher Rupert_**

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**_Son of Her Majesty Queen Constantina_**

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**_Charlotte Germantrude Guinevere Maisey...'_**

Subaru appears from the midst of the crowd and frowns. "Maisey?" Chichiri gives an embarrassed shrug and nods.

"Maisey, no da. **_'Margaret Anne…is giving a ball!'_**

**_'The prince is giving a ball!_**

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**_The prince is giving a ball!'_**

The crowd separates into little groups, discussing quietly among themselves as Chichiri approaches the first booth, pulling out a small list from his vest pocket. Backstage, Nashie breathes a sigh of relief that the little scroll hadn't fall out of his pocket. Subaru hurries over to where Yui and Nyan-Nyan are at a booth, stuffing their face with chocolates.

**_'They've spread the message, far and wide!_**

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**_The prince is giving a ball!_**

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**_They say he wants to find a bride_**

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**_He may find one at the ball'_**

Both of the girls look excited at the idea of being married to prince, and Yui twirls with a lollipop in her hand.

**_'Oh, if only he'd propose to me'_**

**_'I wish that he'd propose to me'_**

**_'Just leave the hair and clothes to me!'_**

**_"The prince is giving a ball!"_**

Chichiri has stopped at one of the booths, one that sells fabrics.

**_'And now if you please_**

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**_The crown decrees some peau de soie with frills_**

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**_A silky satin in aubregine _**

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**_A red if someone spills'_**

The girls at the booth hold up various silken sheets, and Chichiri nods his head before slipping past them to the next booth. The girls flip the water-like satin over their heads, and do a short dance number before moving their wagon out of the way. The next booth belongs to a butcher, who spreads out his arms to show the variety of meats at the booth.

**_'Now surely I'll need_**

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**_A side of ham and lots of beef fillets_**

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**_A marbleized steak, a rack of lamb_**

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**_And veal to raise to braise'_**

The butcher flips a knife in the air, end over end, and Chichiri expertly catches it before tossing it back to him. The butcher starts chopping at something on the board, in beat with the music. Chichiri watches for a moment before he moves to the next booth, which has different types of cheese piled high on it. The couple behind the booth perks up as Chichiri approaches.

**_'Limburger, Swiss, and Gourmandize_**

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**_Cheddar, Gruyere, and Bleu_**

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**_Chunks of Swiss, in barrels please_**

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**_Make sure that it's wholly, too'_**

He tosses a chunk of Swiss cheese to the man behind the counter, who nods and holds up another chunk, which is full of holes. Chichiri gives him the okay sign before turning around, and bumping right into the baker, who is holding a chocolate cake in one hand and a strawberry cake in the other. The baker twirls to the music as Chichiri places a piece of paper in his mouth.

**_'Puddings and pies and rum soufflés, _**

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**_Succulent chocolate rounds_**

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**_Cream puffs, they can chew away_**

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**_To gain some royal pounds'_**

The baker does a brief jig, and tosses one of the cakes to Chichiri. Chichiri manages to grab it before it hits the ground, as the crowd suddenly starts dancing, taking the baker with them. Chichiri stares at the chocolate cake in confusion, until the baker manages to come back and grab it from him. But as he's leaving, he accidentally pushes Chichiri into the dancing crowd.

The first to perform the corps de ballet are the women, who mingle tour en l'air and jéte with the much more recognized American fox trot and pirouette.

In the wings of the stage, Tasuki winces at the intricate, coordinated moves. "That's some fuckin' messed up shit. How do they get their legs to do that?"

"Easy...they had their legs broken as children, so now they are extremely flexible as dancers."

"I think not, Nashie," chastises Teki. Nashie can _almost_ see her rolls her eyes in the light loft. "And don't tell him that either – you know Tasuki will believe you." Nashie looks over at Tasuki, and just as Teki had predicted, Tasuki's are wide and he looks absolutely flabbergasted.

"Ya mean somebody would actually do that to their kid? Fuck!" Nashie wrinkles her nose at him.

"Not now, Tasuki. There are people watching." Groans issues forth from over the headset. Tasuki sticks his tongue out at the director, seriously annoyed.

"Wench."

"Bastard."

"Now, now, children," Mitsukake says, shaking his head. "Don't make me send you into the time-out corner. Besides, after the dancing scene, we're going to have to switch to the stepevils house – which, thankfully, will last more than five minutes." A wretched smile curls onto Nashie's face as she approaches the tall assistant director with a prowling step in her walk.

"Ooooh, pooor Mitsukake. Is your back hurting you? I an fix it!" She jumps onto the tall man's back and nearly sends them both hurtling to the floor. Tasuki blinks and falls over laughing at the sight of Nashie clinging onto Mitsukake, her arms wrapped around his neck, with his arms windmilling to keep his balance. Tama-neko has charged out of his owner's hood and his currently latched himself to the top of Mitsukake's head, hissing as his fur stands on end.

"Meow-ouch!"

"Yee-haw, mule!"

"This is not helping my back," mutters the unfortunate doctor as he tries to knock the young woman off his back. Nashie, however, sees the futile effort, and wraps her legs around Mitsukake's waist to make it nearly impossibly for her to fall off. Now, Nashie herself is tall and isn't exactly made of cotton – she is a sturdy, muscular girl who has her fair share in the weight department. Not exactly overweight, but not model thin either.

And she is currently sending Mitsukake's equilibrium into chaos.

"What's going on over there?" asks MoonshadowJedi as Nashie's cheerful chidings echos over everyone's headsets along with Mitsukake's mutterings. "Aren't you guys watching the musical? The guys are about to start dancing!"

"Ha! Go to the edge of the wings, mule! Yah!" Mitsukake grumbles beneath her breath about being a slave of manual labour but does as the all-powerful director asks. Nashie peeks out over his shoulder to see a small group of men start performing a short tap dance number on top of various crates. She grins as she sees Chichiri in the middle, expertly pulling off the complicated dance moves. "I picked the right person for my Lionel. Chichiri is such a good dancer."

On stage, the men jump off the barrels, and join with a handful of women as they do a combination of the two-step, the Charleston, and the black bottom. Fangirls in the audience cheer at Chichiri's easy, flowing movements into the difficult dance steps. He gives them a slow smile and a small wave as the crowd once again parts into two groups to perform the...

"I am NOT seeing this!" MoonshadowJedi gasps, a note of astonishment and horror in her voice. I am NOT seeing this. NASHIE!

"Argh! What?"

"I better not be seeing this either." Teki seems to be a bit more calm than MoonshadowJedi, but Nashie can hear the threat of murder in her voice. "That's not the dance I THINK they're doing either, is it?"

"Um…well, look on the bright side...at least, 'Chiri's not gonna do it..."

"What? What's going on?" demands Sake.

Of course, the pop culturally-wise members of stage crew are staring at the stage in a mix of trepidation and horror at the dance being performed. It may have subtly been changed to resemble the swing style dances of before, with far more grace and class than it usually has, but for the discerning eyes of the stage crew members, the dance is easily recognizable.

It's the dreaded Cha-cha Slide.

"Why don't you just start with the stupid DJ already?" MoonshadowJedi growls, ignoring Nashie's manic laughing in the background.

"Take it back now, y'all," she crows. "One hop this time. One hop this time. Turn around. Slide to the left. Slide to the right. Crisscross! Crisscross! Everybody Charlie Brown." She jumps off Mitsukake's back and begins performing the steps. Tasuki stops laughing, and gives her a baffled look.

"What the hell are you doin'?"

"The Cha-cha slide. C'mon. Do it with me. You too, Mitsukake." She grabs both of their hands. "Just do what I say. Okay...um...take it back now y'all. That means we go back! Like this." Nashie demonstrates, having easily conquered the steps of the Cha-cha slide many a moon ago, and also manages to throw in some hip swivels and sleek shoulder movement. Tasuki gives her a long, hard look, before shrugging, and repeating the same movement with natural ease. Mitsukake shakes his head, and crosses his arms, content on just watching. "One hop this time!" She hops, throwing her hands up in the air. "One hop this time! Turn around!"

Tasuki, laughing, repeats the same steps.

"Slide to the left! Slide to the right!" The director does the movements, easily coinciding with Tasuki. "Take it back now y'all! Two hops this time! Two hops this time!" Nashie shows Tasuki the movement and they both do it. "Cha-cha, real smooth!" Nashie grabs Tasuki, and spins him to face her, as they both do the Cha-cha with ease. Tasuki grins, and spins Nashie into a dip. They both hold the pose, laughing hysterically. Mitsukake laughs deeply while removing Tama-neko from his head, and replacing him back into the hood of his sweatshirt.

"Very elegant, you two."

"Don'tcha know?" chirps Nashie with a wink. "That's the ghetto version of the Hokey-Pokey! So says the wise Martin Lawrence."

"Well," Teki murmurs with a click of her tongue, "while you guys have been doing the Hokey-Pokey, the song is ending. We're about to change to the stepevils house, so you guys better get a move on."

"Yes, O Special One."

Out on stage, Chichiri is paging through the scroll, looking exasperated as the villagers sing and dance around him.

**_'His Royal Highness...200 orchids, 400 poppies, 600 roses, 800 lilies..._**

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**_Christopher Rupert...4000 oranges, 2000 plums..._**

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**_Windermere Vladimir Carl Alexander_**

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**_Raspberry, blueberry, strawberry, gooseberry_**

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**_François Reginald Lancelot Herman_**

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**_Son of Her Majesty, Queen Constantina_**

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**_Chocolate and cheddar and Charlotte and Maisey_**

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**_Son of His Caviar, King Maximillion_**

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**_Godfried Ladislan Leopold Sidney...'_**

The chorus stops dancing and all turn to Chichiri with stunned looks on their faces. "Sidney?" Chichiri throws the scroll in the air and sits down hard on the crate.

"Sidney, no da!"

**_'Is giving a ball!'_**

The baker and the butcher pick up the crate Chichiri is sitting on, and carry it out towards the stage left wings, while the chorus performs one more quick dance number as they return to their designated booths. As they part, Miaka steps forward into the spotlight on the downstage area, watching as the two men carry Chichiri off.

**_'The prince is giving a ball!'_** she sings belatedly and then smiles.

The black curtains close to the applause of the audience. Nashie does a small dance in place as the lights dim on stage, and the chorus exists to the extra green room.

"Woo-hoo!"

-à-à-


	7. 2D: Lions and Tigers and Bears Oh, My!

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 2:D – LIONS AND TIGERS AND BEARS (OH, MY!)

MoonshadowJedi crosses onto the stage as her fellow stage crew members begin setting up the house scene, the camera still rolling. The set is probably the most detailed of all the sets, since Nashie had demanded that the inside look like a gaudy faerie tale nightmare. The set exploded with vibrant purples, oranges, and greens, with steel blue draperies and pink-tinted furniture. The backdrop hasn't changed from the village scene, although a pale blue flat designed as the side wall of the house had been lowered, completed with windows and a stairway that spirals out towards the audience. The stairs lead directly to a balcony on the flat on stage left. Unbeknownst to the audience, the black curtains hide another staircase for the thespians to descend from back into the wings. The flat on stage right is the front wall of the house, resilient with a large ornate double door and picture windows.

MoonshadowJedi approaches Mitsukake, who is currently testing out the spiral staircase. "Um...Mitsukake..."

"I think this will do...yes?" He turns around and gives the much shorter girl a smile. MoonshadowJedi scratches behind her head.

"Do you know if there are any big props for this scene? I mean, there probably are, but..." Mitsukake frowns and then nods.

"The broom, I think, for "In My Own Little Corner"."

"…broom?"

"It should be with all the other props in the make-up room."

"Really...oh, boy...um, thanks, Mitsukake. I'm gonna go and...er...yeah!" She runs off the stage, lightning quick, as Nashie approaches Mitsukake, wiping her forehead at having to move most of the large pieces of furniture.

"What was that all about?" Mitsukake shrugs.

"Something about a broom, is all I know."

"A broom, eh?" Nashie raises a suspicious eyebrow. "I wonder what she could possibly want with a broom." She sighs and rubs her neck, swinging her arm back and forth to work out the kinks. "Okay, off the stage people. We're exceeding the two minutes we're supposed to have. Off, off, off!" As the various stage members exit the stage, Nashie looks around, standing with her arms akimbo and biting her lower lip nervously. A thought races through her head as she makes sure every thing is correctly placed on stage.

"A broom? I know we need one for this scene, but it's already by the fireplace. So why would she...? Ah, well." She exits the stage to the wings on the left, and gives Mitsukake the signal. The curtains slowly open to the music of "Stepsister's Lament" to reveal the currently empty set. Teki brings up the lights to reflect off the motley of bright, garish colors, turning the living room into a ghastly rendition of a kaleidoscope on crack.

At that moment, the door swings open and Miaka enters, holding it open despite the load she carries in her arms as Subaru, Yui, and Nyan-Nyan sweep into the room. Subaru drops onto the couch, fanning herself as she removes her hat and her gloves and placing them onto the wrought iron table. Miaka quickly places the bags and hatboxes onto another table before attending to Yui and Nyan-Nyan.

"Cinderella, my hat!"

"Cinderella, my gloves!"

"Cinderella, it's cold in here! Where's my shawl?" Miaka takes a shawl from a nearby chair and drapes it around Subaru's shoulders, scampering from one side of the room to the next.

"Right away, right away." Subaru snuggles into the shawl, and then begins to look around the room in disgust, turning that look straight to Miaka.

"Cinderella, have you cleaned the floor today?" Miaka hesitates as she takes Yui's hat and Nyan-Nyan's gloves.

"…No, Stepmother. I've had a rather busy day." Subaru gives her a long look as Miaka begins putting away the outerwear.

"_You've_ had a busy day?" Miaka nods as she places the other articles of clothing onto a long table situated aginst the wall underneath the balcony.

"Yes. I've been with you in town. Shopping." Subaru blinks, realizes this is true, but sees this reason simply as an excuse. She stands up, giving Miaka a cold look before moving to take a two books from table in front of her.

"The impertinence!" she exclaims arrogantly. "When your father died, people told me that I should have thrown you out, into the streets!" The white-haired woman places a book on top of Yui's head. "Graceful, Joy. Graceful!" She places the other book on Nyan-Nyan's head, and pats the girl's shoulder. "Be a swan, Portia." She turns back to Miaka, a cold, hard look on her face. Nashie, who has a full view of the bitterness in her face, gasps back a choke. She had no idea that sweet, if sometimes tough, Subaru could be so heartless.

"Damn good acting." Chichiri, who is standing next to her, nods.

"She has to prove that she's not a pushover, and that she isn't just a pretty face, no da. She probably took some lessons from watching the stepmother from _Ever After_. Now THAT was cruel, no da." Nashie nods in agreement.

"But I kept you here," continues Subaru haughtily. "All these years, and this is the thanks that I get." she turns her back. "You know, I've always been told that I have too big a heart."

"You have too big a heart, Mother!" Yui and Nyan-Nyan say excitedly, causing Subaru to simper and curtsy slightly.

"Touché! We will take our tea upstairs, Cinderella. Come along now, girls. It's time to get our beauty sleep. We want to look our best for the ball tomorrow evening." She walks towards the stairs, and begins to ascend, followed by Yui and Nyan-Nyan who are struggling to keep their books upright on their heads. Miaka hurriedly straightens up the living room, collecting certain dropped items and placing them on chairs and tables. "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted." She yawns, covering her mouth in a ladylike gesture. Nyan-Nyan repeats the gesture.

"I'm tired too, Mother!"

"You're tired?" Yui snaps.

"Yes, _I'm_ tired."

The three disappear into the door on the balcony. Yui and Nyan-Nyan descend the stairway in the back of the flat, and hurry to the far black curtain to cross over to stage right, waving at the crew of stage left as they do so. Miaka pauses in cleaning, having grabbed hold of the broom, and looks up to where her stepfamily exited. She seems to be deciding between something and finally calls out for Subaru, who returns to the stage, looking irritated.

Nashie sighs, rubbing her shoulders. "This is going just peachy, 'Chiri. Isn't it?"

"I'm surprised nothing extremely serious has happened yet, no da."

"I heard that!" Sake exclaims. "Last time you guys said that, I nearly killed Nuriko with an oxygen-depriving corset!"

"Yeah, but that was because we were in a hurry...it'll be fine, hopefully..."

Of course, 'hopefully' is always the most famous of the famous last words.

-à-à-

Sitting out in the audience, farther to the back, is the infamous black-cloaked figure, who is smiling quietly to herself as the action unfolds on the screen. Unbeknownst to the audience members sitting around her, she is holding a tiny Mage Globe, turquoise in color with a fiery-red center, crackling with emerald-green lightning. She rolls it between her gloved fingers casually, as Subaru rebukes Miaka for wishing to go to the ball.

"Such an intriguing play...yet it is certainly missing something..." She laughs quietly. "Like chaos..."

The mysterious figure holds her right hand up in front of her face, sideways, with her index and middle finger extended while her thumb, ring finger, and pinkie are all curled inwards. The Chichiri-style gesture captures the attention of a golden-contraption sitting next to a thirty-something man who is watching the musical with a dazed expression on his face.

"Hey...Joel...what's she doing...?" the robot asks. The man sitting next to him gives a brief shrug.

"Hmm...huh...? Oh, I don't know. I'd rather not know." He turns his attention back to the stage.

"It looks bad," the robot exclaims. A red gumball machine robot sitting on the other side of Joel, turns to Crow, shaking furiously, his arms dangling uselessly at his sides.

"Silence, you!"

"Bite me!"

"Argh!"

Meanwhile, the dark figure has already sent the mage globe flying towards the stage, still ignored by every person in the audience, even Big Brother and his...perceptive...friends. The tiny mage globe lands in Miaka's hair and disappears in a small flash of light that doesn't cause any reaction among the crew. Miaka sits down on the couch, still grasping the broom as Subaru exits. The lights dim so that now only the spotlight shines down on the leading lady, as she gazes sadly at the balcony.

Miaka mimics her stepfamily's commands. 'Cinderella, hot water. Cinderella, warm milk. Cinderella, Cinderella…" She trails off as the orchestra begins to play.

**_'I'm as mild and as meek as a mouse_**

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**_When I hear a command, I obey_**

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**_But I know of a spot in my house_**

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**_Where nothing can stand in my way...'_**

Out in the audience, the figure chuckles quietly to herself.

"Let the show being."

-à-à-

Backstage, Nashie has once again made Tasuki into her resident armchair, and currently punching certain places in his costume to make it more comfortable for her to sit. Chichiri watches in amusement as Tasuki grumbles, but surprisingly takes the beating. Mitsukake stands on the edge of the wings, peering out as Miaka begins her solo.

"It's not comfortable enough, Gen-chan!"

"Go tell it to someone who cares."

"Argh!" She socks him good in the stomach.

"Oof!"

"If I were you," Chichiri notes in a bemused tone of voice. "I wouldn't try to tempt her for extra reasons to hit you, no da. As it is, you're going to be bruised by the time your next scene comes up, na no da." Tasuki mutters under his breath as Nashie snuggles back.

Miaka's soprano voice reaches back into the wings of the stage as the red-haired bandit continues to suffer beatings from the director.

**_'In my own little corner, in my own little chair_**

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**_I can be whatever I want to be_**

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**_On the wings of my fancy, I can fly anywhere_**

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**_And the world will open its arms to me'_**

She jumps up from the couch and begins performing the choreographed moves.

**_'I'm a young Egyptian princess or a milkmaid_**

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**_I'm the greatest prima donna in Milan_**

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**_I'm an heiress who has always had her silk made_**

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**_By her own flock of silkworms in Japan'_**

Nashie sighs, leaning back on Tasuki, as the music and Miaka's voice magically take her away into the imagination of a the poor tormented beauty. A soft smile comes onto her face – everything was going to be all right. No more disasters, no more near-death situations, no more-

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

Nashie leaps off her once comfortable position, sprawling on the floor, her hearing slightly deafened by Tasuki's infuriated shriek. She quickly climbs to her feet, staring in shock at Tasuki who is rising to his feet with a infuriated expression on his face, his fists shaking violently. Nashie is about to ask what's wrong when she sees the source of his obvious distress, and manages to choke out a somewhat coherent reaction.

"What in Suzaku's name...?"

Tasuki is now dressed as…a young Egyptian princess. His new costume is complete with a sheer white chemise with shoulder straps, a golden belted rope, and enough golden jewelry to put the Academy Awards out of business. Kohl eyeliner, a black wig made up of a multitude of braids, and sandals completed the outfit.

"WHO THE FUCK THINKS THIS SHIT IS FUCKIN' FUNNY? I'M GONNA FLAME THAT MOTHERFUCKER'S ASS WHEN I GET A FUCKIN' HOLD OF THE GOOD FOR NOTHIN' BASTARD!" Nashie winces and quickly covers his mouth.

"Shut up, Tasuki. You're gonna have everyone bleeding from the ears. Okay...um, we'll fix it. It's probably just..." She desperately turns to Chichiri. "You don't have anything to do with this, do you?"

Chichiri shakes his head. "I'm surprised you'd even blame me, no da. Especially since...I..." He trails off, his attention suddenly turned to Mitsukake, who returns the stare with a raised eyebrow.

"What is it?"

"...um...the greatest prima donna in Milan..." The monk sweatdrops.

Mitsukake looks down at his stage crew clothing, only to find them gone, replaced by a stereotypical female Viking costume from an opera, completed with the horned helmet and blonde braids. The tallest of the seishi turns an interesting shade of red as he meets Nashie's eyes in both embarrassment and confusion. Nashie shakes her head, looking around in confusion, as she still claps her hand over a raging Tasuki's mouth.

"What's going on out there?" Sake asks, sounding frustrated.

"Nothing. At least, I hope it's nothing." She glances at Chichiri. "You think it's just us?" Chichiri shrugs.

"I hope so. Where in the world could people's costumes be disappearing to?"

Out on stage, Miaka continues singing, completely ignorant of the crisis going on backstage. She spins around, her arms out right, crossing over to downstage right.

**_'I can be whatever I want to be_**

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**_I'm a thief in Calcutta, I'm queen in Peru_**

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**_I'm a mermaid dancing across the sea'_**

Nashie sighs, rubbing her temples wearily as a sudden shriek erupts from her headset. Mitsukake also hears it and staggers at the intensity of it.

"MoonshadowJedi...?"

"It wasn't me...oh, what in the world...?"

"Talk to me, girl," Nashie advises, concern in her voice. "What happened?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" Nashie makes a face.

"I have a feeling I might."

"Um...it's Tamahome, Hotohori, and Nuriko...their costumes are suddenly…um…not there...well, I mean, they still have clothes, but...um...yeah..."

"Please tell me one of them isn't a mermaid."

"No...but...I think we have a queen from Peru, a thief from Calcutta, and a milkmaid...ahem...French maid, actually...hey, don't start crying...we'll fix it...wait, where are YOU going...get back here...OOF!"

On stage, Miaka grabs up her broom and pretends that it is a rifle, sneaking across the room as if she were pursuing something.

**_'I'm a huntress on an African safari_**

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**_It's a dangerous type of sport, and yet, it's fun_**

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**_When it's night, I sally forth to seek my quarry_**

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**_And I've found I forgot to bring my gun_**

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**_I am lost in the jungle, all alone and unarmed_**

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**_When I meet a lioness in her lair...'_**

Nashie grabs Mitsukake and Tasuki by the arm and starts towards the curtains to make her way to stage right, muttering imaginative curses beneath her breath, though she is very tame when it comes to Tasuki's furious rant. Chichiri watches them go, shaking his head and murmuring to himself, when he hears a low growl close behind him. The magician freezes.

"I really hope that's not what I think it is, no da..." He slowly turns around…

…and looks right into the reflective eyes of a crouching lioness. Chichiri blinks and immediately goes into super-deformed mode.

"Daaa!"

-à-à-

Nashie emerges on stage right, dragging two unfortunate seishi behind her. She pulls them up to where Chiriko and MoonshadowJedi are standing, ignoring the protesting profanity coming from Tasuki. Chiriko takes one look at Mitsukake and another at Tasuki, who has whipped the wig off his hair and has thrust it at Nashie.

"Oh, my..." Chiriko murmurs, green eyes wide. MoonshadowJedi rubs the back of her head.

"What's up here, Nashie?" The director bites her lower lip, looking far too hassled for her own good.

"I don't know...it just _happened_..." She looks around. "And where is the terrible trio…?"

MoonshadowJedi points behind her, towards three currently occupied seats. Nashie shifts uncomfortably before heading towards them, wondering who was affected with which costume. A few feet away, she stops dead, and wonders whether to burst out laughing at the ridiculously insane costumes, or to start a rant just as verbally-creative as Tasuki.

Tamahome has had the honour of being dressed in the outfit of queen from Peru, and is currently muttering and cursing beneath his breath, his arms folded over the rich reds, greens, and yellows. His crown is slightly tilted to the left, and is in danger of falling off any second. Hotohori sits next to him, and wouldn't have looked out of place if he had been auditioning for the lead role in the next Zorro movie. However, the mask lies discarded in his lap as he looks up at Nashie's approach. She gives him a brief, apologetic smile before turning to Nuriko, who is dressed in a black-and-white French maid outfit, completed with the ruffle white cap and apron.

The third seishi is looking none too happy at his current outfit.

"I look like a hussy!"

"Oh, boy...I didn't think milkmaids looked like THAT...um, don't worry, Nuriko...we'll fix it..."

"Alright, people," Teki calls over the headset, sounding both irritated and confused. "Whatever's wrong, you better fix it soon. Miaka's nearly finished with the song, and after that, it's to the palace scene." Nashie groans and slaps the side of her head.

"Craaaaap." She glances at the five magically-dressed warriors, manages not scream her head off in a show of brief insanity, and takes in a deep breath. The others can tell that she's counting to ten in her head. "Okay...I'm going to go check the dressing rooms for your costumes..." Tasuki, slightly calmer now, frowns at Nashie.

"Who the fuck did this to us?"

"Language, Tasuki. Language." The tall girl sighs. "And I honestly don't know. It seems familiar, but I can't point my finger to anyone. Yet. But when I do..."

"I'm going to rip his heart out with my bare fingers...argh!" Tamahome mutters, taking the crown off his head and looking ready to throw it at the nearest wall. He lifts his head to argue with Nashie until he catches sight of Tasuki, who is muttering anatomical impossibilities beneath his breath. His eyes light up, and a slow grin slips onto his face, his own discomfort gone. "Yo, Tasuki. Nice dress." The red-haired seishi flushes, and he glares at his brother seishi darkly.

"Shut the hell up!"

"C'mon, is that any way to treat your best friend...?"

"Fuck you!" Tamahome grins as Tasuki begins to steam.

"Nah, I've got a girlfriend…" This statement makes Tasuki's eyes flash angrily, and his control on his temper disappears.

"DIE!" He makes a leap at Tamahome, but is stopped by Nashie, who grabs him in a bear hug, and begins dragging him back to the make-up room. Of course, Tasuki is not making it easy, flailing and cursing the entire way.

Finally, Nashie gets a tic in her left cheek, and she thwacks him on the head – she is too irritated to pull out the Big Stuffed Fish. Nashie, it seems, has reverted to her ghetto side to get her point across. The stress of the magical disaster is starting to weigh in on her.

"You wanna mess with me right now, Suzaku no Tasuki? I don't _THINK_ so! So GET your butt in the make-up room **_NOW_**! GET IT?" Tasuki winces at the volume, and takes a step back.

"Got it..." As he retreats, he thinks to himself, _She has never gotten _that_ mad before…whew…_

Nashie now turns back to where Tamahome is blinking at her anger, and she storms up to him, grabbing him by the collar of his dress, and bringing him down to eye level with her. "You say ONE word to make him even more mad, and I'm gonna jam Miaka's friggin' broom up your a-hole! Now go back to the costume room, find the damn costumes, and do it fast!"

Tamahome blanches at the visual image Nashie's words present. He pulls away quickly, and makes the move to run behind the curtains to stage left, when he violently runs into Chichiri, who staggers out from behind her curtains. They both go hurtling to the floor, in a crumpled heap. Nashie, in no mood to be sympathetic towards anyone, stomps over to both of them and yank them from the ground. She pauses slightly when she sees Chichiri's disheveled state.

"'Chiri...?" she gasps quietly, blinking large green eyes. Chichiri manages a small smile.

"'_Lost in the jungle, all alone and unarmed, when I meet a lioness in her lair_...'" He winces. The other seishi standing around are shocked, and Tamahome puts a concerned hand on the monk's shoulder.

"Chichiri..." Nashie looks at the exhausted monk, with tears in his clothing revealing some deep scratches, bleeding freely into his costume. For a second, no one says anything. Finally, Nashie's jaw trembles slightly, and she pulls her favourite blue-haired monk into a gentle, yet fierce hug, cursing beneath her breath. Chichiri flinches slightly, but makes no move to pull away.

"I'm so sorry! I should have _known_ something like this could have happened..." Chichiri quietly strokes her hair.

"It's not your fault...but obviously, someone has placed a hex on the cast and crew back here, no da. I sensed it when I faced the lioness, who thankfully disappeared after Miaka finished the song, na no da." Nashie's head snaps up so fast she nearly clonks Chichiri right in the chin.

"She's done?"

"Yes, she's done," Teki scolds from her spot in the light command center. Her tone, however, is curiously less reprimanding and harsh than it should be. "And I've been waiting for a cue to dim the lights…but, since something is obviously messed up backstage, I'll do it without a cue." Bob takes this as a hint to start closing the curtains. A few moments later, a pleased Miaka strolls back into the backstage area, but stops short at seeing the condition her seishi are in. Her hand flies to her mouth as she looks from one Suzaku warrior to the next, a look of shock imprinted on her features.

"What...happened...?"

"A long story," Nashie mutters. "But it's going to be at least five minutes before we have this all straightened out. And that's five minutes we really don't have. The crowd is going to get antsy if we don't do something soon..." She begins to chew on her fingernail. "Think...Nashie...think..." Chichiri puts his hand on her shoulder, and gives her a comforting smile before turning to the rest of the actors and crew assembled.

"Everyone who's in the next scene needs to find their costumes now, no da. Nuriko, Hotohori, Tamahome, and I will look for our costumes. Miaka, go to the make-up room and wait there with Subaru and Yui until we can figure out who's causing this mess, na no da. MoonshadowJedi, Chiriko, Mitsukake, and Bob, set up the palace scene while Nashie stalls the audience." Nashie gulps.

"_Me_?"

"Yes, you. You're the only one the audience will listen to, no da. We'll take care of things back here, if you take care of things out there, okay?" Nashie blinks, realizes the truth in this statement, and nods reluctantly.

"Yeah, well, I guess. I mean, I'm the director, after all. Teki, have the spotlight ready on stage right." She gives the group and thumbs-up sign and makes her way to the curtain, trying to figure out what to say. Suddenly, a shout interrupts her, and she turns to see Tasuki running up behind her, having quickly changed into jeans and a sweatshirt. She blinks as he joins her side. "Gen-chan...?" Tasuki grins at her, cuffing her playfully on the arm.

"I'm goin' out there, too. I mean, I'm not on until the next two scenes anyway. So I'll be just fine with facin' the crowd, if they still remember me. Besides, I know you have a case of stage fright, so I'm gonna help you out."

Nashie seems stunned at his offer to help, and stares up at his handsome face with a thankful expression. She grabs his hand, gives it a squeeze, and parts the curtains to enter onto the stage, praying that whoever has cast the spell decides not to embarrass her any further with more antics on the stage. She gives Tasuki one final look before they both step out into the spotlight.

-à-à-

Author's Note: (4-07-04) Dumb AP Calculus test…anyway, the most recognizable change in this chapter is Tasuki's stage fright changing to his being embarrassed having to play a godmother. Knowing Tasuki, I'm surprised he didn't burn down the theatre to make a point. That wouldn't have looked good on my permanent record.

(1-29-04) Whoa...that's one ridiculously long chapter...I mean, the last one was twenty-seven pages, this one is…(tries counting on fingers)...thirty-eight? Thirty-nine? Well, whatever it is, I don't think I've written a chapter of this extremity before in any of my fanfictions. At least, not to my recollection (and since Nashie's recollection is a shabby piece of paper towel, we won't rely at all on THAT part of her mind)

This story is coming along quite nicely. HAH! Yeah, right! I nearly mauled my poor Chiri-baby to death! How dare I make him face a lioness alone! Well, look on this side, at least he wasn't put in Mits-san's prima donna getup! Yeah, that image will stay with me for awhile. (shudders) Wait until I find out who's disturbing my play! Nashie will soon be a force to be reckoned with! YEE-HAAAAWWW!

Oh, and a few side note disclaimers. Sharp-eyed readers will notice that the black-cloaked figure was wielding a "mage globe". Well, as far as my knowledge in fantasy stories go, the only book I've read that have mage globes is the _Exiles_ series by Ms. Melanie Rawn, whom I absolutely adore. So, no, I didn't make the mage globe thingy up on my own – I'm simply not that creative. And I also gave my buddies from _Mystery Science Theatre 3000_ a cameo. I'm a super-fan of the show, though I can never ever seem to watch the full two-hours of it, no matter how hard I try.

And what's this now? THREE Mysterious Figures? If you miss the Matrix couple, their important role will emerge in upcoming chapters (poor Nashie...). And as for the third mysterious figure…well, lets just say that her mystery will take a little while to solve…oh, dear…

And I promise, to those who are still waiting, I AM working on "Aeternum Vale" and "Ad Astra Per Aspera". I promised myself that I WILL finish them since I've started on them already. I think "Aeternum Vale" is going to be a spring project for me, while "Ad Astra Per Aspera" is heading towards the summer dates for completion. HOPEFULLY, I won't get any more rabbit story ideas between now and then. I'm planning on finishing this story first before I continue working on "Aeternum Vale". So, bear with me, faithful readers, if I haven't scared you off yet. More is to come in the future!

The next chapter: How is the audience dealing with the delay? Who is the mysterious cloaked figure? And who is that disgustingly perfect couple that gives Nashie migraines? The next chapter answers these questions, plus singing and dancing, terrible jokes, and entrepreneurship.

Until then, dasvidanya!


	8. 3A: Interlude and Solitude

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff, okay? You want to rub it any my face even more than it already is? (goes off into a corner to sulk)

Random Inside Joke of the Day: "How the heck...how the heck does thing come out? Jeff, get the instruction manual!"

Random Quote of the Day: "Eh, Brendalin! I love you! Why don't you love me? Eh!"

-à-à-

CHAPTER 3:A – INTERLUDE AND SOLITUDE

The audience is beginning to shift restlessly in their seats as the change between scenes begins to exceed its three-minute mark. A majority of the audience begins murmuring with each other about poor timing when the curtain on stage right moves slightly, and a dark-haired girl wearing a black T-shirt, black cargo pants, and a black ski-knit cap steps onto stage, her headset draped around her neck as she waves shyly to the audience. She's followed by a flame-haired young man clothed in camouflage-jeans and an orange hooded sweatshirt, who has his hands jammed in his pockets as he smirks out at the audience.

Nashie shyly steps forward, blinking out into the darknened audience. "Hey, everyone...how's it going...?" Cheers erupt from the front row and the balconies, where Nashie's invites are currently situated. Nashie turns a bright red, visible even beneath dusty-colored skin, and jams her hands into her pockets. "Uh...I guess you guys want to know what the hold up is, right...?"

"You could say that," comes the response from the audience. Nashie bites her bottom lip and then scratches behind her head.

"Hehehehehe...well, I'll tell you...um...okay! Alrighty..."

"If you haven't guessed it," interrupts Tasuki, with a wicked grin on his face, "our director is scared of the spotlight...she's pullin' the shy act on you guys!" Nashie shuffles and glares at the seishi.

"Shut up, Gen-chan. You're not helping." She looks back towards the audience. "Um…okay, see, what had happened is that we got ourselves mixed in with a bit of a...well, we just got mixed into some nasty business in the wings. So we're having some trouble setting it up, and one of our cast members has to get patched up before he comes onto the next scene."

"What's wrong with my bishonen?" wails DJFiregirl from the front row. Nashie sweatdrops.

"Um...he'll be okay, just a few scratches...but, yeah. Anyway, that's why we have an extended delay. We hope to be back up and running within a few minutes. So, if you guys need to take a bathroom break or anything, now's the time to do it..."

"Yeah, get all the shit outta your ass now, cause we still got a while before intermission!"

A loud squawk comes from one of the balconies, and Nashie flinches as she peers up through the bright white spotlight to see a figure glowering down on her. She gulps back in fear, and clamps her hand over Tasuki's mouth, turning back to the audience and wishing that the spotlight wasn't on her anymore.

"Shut UP, Gen-chan," she stage whispers, gesturing wildly toward the balconies with her free hand. She then turns back to the audience. "So, I hope you guys have liked the musical so far. I mean, we really worked hard on it, and all. I'm kinda interesting in doing another one. Maybe _Flower Drum Song_ or _Anything Goes_ or _Robin Hood: Men in Tights_ or something like that. What do you guys think?" The audience murmurs quietly among themselves as a few cheers ring out – they never expected the director to be crazy enough to do ANOTHER musical. But, of course, Nashie's mind has a weird way of working, so people just have to put up with her.

Tasuki manages to wrench free of Nashie's grasp. "So, we're gonna do another musical, huh? Let's do _Pirates of the Caribbean_." Nashie frowns.

"But it's so obvious who will play what..."

"No, not really..."

"Uh-huh," Nashie replies, giving Tasuki a long, pointed look. "Miaka will be Elizabeth, Tamahome will be Will, Hotohori will be Jack Sparrow…ahem…_Captain_ Jack Sparrow, and you'll be Barbossa."

An indignant shout comes from backstage, and Nashie hides her smile. Even Tasuki looks slightly revolted at the idea of being an undead captain, and he shoves his hands into the front pocket of his sweatshirt.

"Okay, then, do...a rendition of _Titanic_." Nashie's eyes glaze over at the mention of one of her favorite movies, but she quickly shakes her head to clear her thoughts.

"No! I'm not that rich, y'know? The only reason I got money to do this musical is because I have inside connections. But even they wouldn't let me do _Titanic_. Let's think smaller, Gen-chan."

"Okay..._Moulin Rouge_?"

"It's a possibility...I liked that one..."

"_Anastasia_?" Nashie's eyes light up.

"Oh, my god! I would love to do that! Let's see...main characters, Suzaku seishi..." She begins counting on her fingers. "Okay, if we get..." She suddenly frowns. "No...we can't...I'm not putting any of you in a beard to be Rasputin..." She turns to the audience, a wide grin on her face. "If you guys have any good ideas, I'd like to hear them. Right now, I'm heavily leaning towards _Anything Goes_."

The audience again begins murmuring as Nashie's headset crackles. She adjusts it on her head, frowning and giving Tasuki a long look. "Director here."

"We'll have things up and running in less than ten minutes," comes Mitsukake's voice on the other end of the headset, "so you can relay the information to the audience. Tell them to consider it as an advantageous incentive for their benevolence with regards to the performing arts."

Nashie, eyes swirly from the use of big words, chokes out in a dazed voice, "I think that's the longest sentence I've heard come from you, Mits-san. Okay, then." She glances out at the audience. "Hey! Um...we have a ten-minute intermission! So, stretch your legs, go to the bathroom, and chat. And we'll be right back after a word from our sponsor!"

She grabs Tasuki and makes a break for the curtains, leaving behind a rousing audience. Many people get up to take advantage of their break and start heading towards the exits. Up in the balcony, Big Brother is still glaring at the spot they had been standing in, his arms crossed.

"I'm going to have a talk with her about that redhead..."

Out in the audience, the Matrix couple shares a look.

"I sense the urgency of finding the origins of Text," the girl whispers. Her male companion nods.

"It's either tonight or never. Let's wait until she falls into complacency before we make our first move. Someone in the cast must know of the origins."

Sitting behind the couple is a small, fifteen-year-old girl who somehow hears every bit of their conversation despite the fact that she's wearing headphones. She blinks big blue eyes and moves a strand a reddish-brown hair behind her ear, hoping that she heard the two wrong. With a sad gaze down at her unfinished picture, she realizes what she must tell the director before impending Doom decides to pay the cast and crew a visit.

With that decided, Neko-ane jumps up from her seat and makes her way to the door.

-à-à-

Nashie clambers back into the backstage area, fanning herself frantically as Tasuki doubles over laughing. She shoots him livid daggers as Chiriko and MoonshadowJedi give the terrified girl sympathetic looks.

"Thanks a lot, Gen-chan! I nearly died out there! You didn't help at all!" Tasuki ignores her, still laughing.

"You...shoulda...seen...your face...bwahahahahahaha!" He collapses on the floor in a fit of a hysterical laughter. Nashie looks around two seconds from pummeling her favourite's seishi's face into the ground, but at the last moment, seems to decide that that would be a waste of time and energy. She straightens up, and frowns.

"I'm glad you think it's so funny." She turns to face MoonshadowJedi. "Where's my favourite blue-haired monk? Is he still hurt?"

"I think he said he was going outside to get a breath of fresh air."

"But he's hurt! Oh, great! Now I have to chase after him, too? He's twenty-four freakin' years old, and I'M still chasing after him?" The director rubs her temples wearily. "Okay, I'm gonna go after Chichiri. Chiriko, if you will so kindly tie Tasuki up and dump him in his dressing room, I'll be much obliged."

She leaves in a huff, leaving behind a bemused MoonshadowJedi, a startled Chiriko, and a cackling Tasuki. The two sane ones of the trio share a look. Chiriko sighs.

"Well, I do take directions from the Supreme Director. MoonshadowJedi, can you hand me that roll of tape?"

-à-à-

Outside, the temperature has dropped a few degrees, and the winter chill nips the air with a biting vengeance. The night sky is clear, the black expanse overhead, slightly tinted orange from city light, beams down on the small theatre, tiny stars sparkling like diamonds and distant rubies. The roar of a low flying airplane passes over the unimpressive downtown of the city, and a certain maskless blue-haired monk looks up to see the twin lights of the plane disappear behind the city hall building. He sits on a stairway facing away from the street, a heavy black coat draped around his slender shoulders.

Nashie, ever the concerned director, emerges from a door behind him, wearing no coat and holding a travel-sized first aid kit. Chichiri turns to her and gives her a smile.

"Hello, Ms. Director. Were you looking for me?" Nashie gives him a crossed look.

"Listen, Chichiri. You got injured by a rampant lioness. Then you went outside in barely thirty-degree weather without your coat even buttoned up! Are you insane?"

"At least I have a coat on, Ms. Director, na no da."

"Don't get smart with me, Chichiri. Come back inside now before you catch a cold. And since you're older than me, I'm not at all pleased at having to sound like your mother." She sits down next to him. "Argh! And you know that I'm never able to stay mad at you...and you didn't even say anything!" The dark-haired girl glares suspiciously at him. 'Some sort of magician trick that I'm not aware of?"

"No trick, no da! I'm just lovable like that." At Nashie's scowl, Chichiri smiles. "Don't do that – your face might get stuck like that, no da. Then you'd be even scarier than Taiitsukun." He gives Nashie a playful noogie that ruffles her cap, and knocks her headset askew. She bats his hand away with a grin of her own, linking her arm through his. For a moment, they both stay quiet and simply stare up at the stars in the sky, content with the serene feeling that passes through both of them. Nashie sighs, trying once again in vain to find the ever-elusive Polaris, which she has finally decided is not in the north, but in the southeast. Slowly, yet surely, her head drops onto Chichiri's shoulder and her eyes close as she buries her face in the monk's coat.

_Now I know why there are so many Chichiri-fangirls out there…_she thinks to herself.

For a few more moments, they stay like that – Nashie with her head resting on one of Suzaku's chosen while he stares pensively up at the beautiful constellations. Finally, she shifts slightly, a slightly dazed smile appearing on her face as she sits up, but still holding onto Chichiri's arm.

"You still have to get patched up," she says in a sing-song voice.

"I was hoping you'd forget about that, no da."

"Nope. Not me. I have to make sure all of my babies are healthy and unhurt. So we have to go and get you unhurt." She giggles. "Besides, it's cold out here." Chichiri stands and helps Nashie to her feet.

"But it's a clear night, no da. How many times to we get that?" Nashie's eyes light up the moment Chichiri says "it's a clear night" and she links her arm through his, and begins to sing an old song from a musical, her pleasant breathy alto quiet in the winter night.

**_'The night is young, the skies are clear_**

****

**_If you'd like to go walking, dear..._**

****

**_It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely_**

****

**_I understand the reason why_**

****

**_You're sentimental 'cause so am I_**

****

**_It's delightful, it's delicious, it's de-lovely'_**

Chichiri laughs as he pulls Nashie into a moderate-paced 20s-style swing step, completed with Nashie's beloved Charleston and jazz hands. Together they perform the old-fashioned dance of the roaring twenties era under the starlight.

**_'You can tell at a glance_**

****

**_What a swell night this is for romance_**

****

**_You can hear dear Mother Nature murmuring low_**

****

**_Let yourself go!'_**

Chichiri swings her out of his arms on the last line, and then swings her back in so that his arms are crossed over her chest with her back against him.

**_'So please be sweet, my chickadee_**

****

**_And when I kiss you just say to me_**

****

**_It's delightful, it's delicious_**

****

**_It's delectable, it's delirious_**

****

**_It's dilemma, it's de-limit, it's deluxe, it's de-lovely!'_**

The two crew members collapse against each other, laughing. Chichiri waves a scolding finger at the director, though he finds it hard to keep a straight face after the quick little dancing interlude.

"Now, Nashie. We better get back inside before we both go crazy, no da!"

"Oh, whatever." She laughs, giving him a playful crossed look. "Alright then. Lets go, mage."

With her arm still linked through his, they re-enter into the theatre, both of them sharing identical smiles on their faces.

-à-à-

Backstage, MoonshadowJedi has gotten her hands on a bottle of aspirin, a large bottle of 7-Up, and a nice relaxing chair. Her feet are propped up in another chair directly in front of her, and she stairs out onto the currently empty stage, wondering how in the world Nashie had convinced her to join stage crew after her years of simply being in the musicals and the plays in high school. She let out a long, shuddering sigh, and tried to concentrate on vanquishing the lesser of the two evils – her migraine.

She senses an approaching figure long before she hears their footsteps, but chooses to keep her eyes close, even when the said person sits down on the vacant chair next to her. MoonshadowJedi remains totally and completely silent, hoping that whichever cast or crew member it is will think that she's asleep and leave. She even adds in a snore for more affect. The person sighs in irritation.

"That only helped in increasing the obvious fact that you're awake. Wake up, onegai."

MoonshadowJedi, grumbling about how she's never able to get proper beauty rest, cracks her eyes opens and sits up in her chair, turning to face whoever it is had addressed her. It's Nuriko, who had already changed into his emerald gown for the upcoming confrontation scene. His violet hair cascades over slender shoulders in a Teki-original hairstyle. MoonshadowJedi quickly wonders about the androgynous-looking youth's appearance before giving him her full attention.

MoonshadowJedi scratches behind her head. "Not to be rude or anything, but I was kind of hoping for a little nap before we got started on the next scene."

"I know...it's just that there's no one around to talk to, and since you weren't really sleeping…"

"I never said I was Nicole Kidman." At Nuriko's blank stare, MoonshadowJedi sighs. "Nicole Kidman is an actress who won the 2003 Academy Award for Best Actress – um, that's a really prestigious statue you get for being the best in the performing arts. Um…anyway, what did you want to talk about?"

"Oh...um...nothing, really." MoonshadowJedi groans and rolls her eyes up to the ceiling.

"You're definitely Nashie's baby then. She never knows what she wants to talk about either. Just comes up to your and starts randomly jabbering about cheese or the origins of the alphabet. Okay, then...if you want something to talk about, talk to me about…your upcoming scene then."

"Nothing to talk about there."

"Oh, really? Don't you have a song coming up? With Hotohori-sama?"

"...maybe..." The short brunette suddenly grins, and pats the young man on the shoulder.

"Well, since you have the hots for him, it's gotta be a great thing for you, right?"

"Noooo…not exactly." He squirms uncomfortably, biting his lower lip. "See, there's this whole little 'I love the Suzaku no miko' stuff, and, compared to her, I really can't compete." He gives a forced smile. "Besides, I get to taunt Tama-chan during this scene. He was always embarrassed about it during rehearsals…" He trails off, lost in his own little world. MoonshadowJedi blinks.

_Talk about low self-esteem…or something. I mean, she's just as pretty as Miaka, less ditzy, and…I don't know. Am I supposed to play matchmaker?_ Footsteps snap her out of her thoughts and she looks up, wincing. "Crap! Think fast. Here comes the object of your desires."

Nuriko gives MoonshadowJedi a quizzical look at the phrase, but manages a polite wave as Hotohori approaches. The emperor is wearing a white dress shirt, deep blue vest, and darker pants, his jacket draped over his arm, and his hair pulled back into a low ponytail. He looks slightly startled at seeing the two sitting there, and pulls up a chair to join them. MoonshadowJedi struggles hard not to fall over in a dead swoon – of all the males she had ever met and drooled over, Hotohori certainly the crème of the crop.

"So...is everything ready for the next scene?" Hotohori nods.

"I believe so. All we need now is for Nashie to finish bandaging up Chichiri."

_The lucky girl!_ "I hope they'll be done soon. The audience may start to get a little riled up...hehehehehehe..."

She stops, noticing the tension in the air, and looks from one seishi to the next and then back again, a frown forming on her lips. Though far from being the illustrious Eros, she was no stranger when it came to the matchmaking business (even if some of her ventures didn't exactly end in a happy ending), and decided to see if she could pull some of her old magic out and try on these two unfortunate souls.

"Big number coming up," she suddenly says after clearing her throat. "A duet, if I'm not mistaken. Nashie is really hyped about it, and the feeling is contagious. Hope it doesn't disappoint." Nuriko gives MoonshadowdJedi a look to freeze the fires of hell, but the college student ignores him. "I heard Nashie and Sake talking about it over the mike. I swear, those two dunderheads can make a documentary about the reproduction of the sagebrush sound interesting." She pauses. "Well, maybe not the documentary about the reproduction of the sagebrush, but at least something close to it that's vaguely more interesting. Maybe the statutes of limitation…or workings of the government in Botswana. No, even they couldn't do that one...oh, definitely quantum physics. Nashie tried to explain that in "Dreams of the Forgotten"…with disastrous results, might I add."

By now, both of the seishi are giving MoonshadowJedi seriously worried looks – worried because of the obvious troubled state of her sanity.

"Maybe you should get some rest..." suggests Hotohori. MoonshadowJedi blinks.

"Huh? Oh...right...um...I'll go back to the make-up room. Someone tell me when we're about to start, okay?" She gets up from her chair, grabs her 7-Up, and heads off towards the make-up room. Nuriko and Hotohori watch her go, and Nuriko shudders.

"Now THAT was scary." Hotohori nods in agreement.

"I am seriously concerned over her current mental health. It should not be normal to talk excessively over nonsense." Nuriko snorts.

"I don't think anyone on crew is normal. Especially not the Supreme Director." He glances around to make sure the aforementioned direction didn't hear the jibe, and then he sighs. "Why can't people be more like us? Cool, collected, and drop-dead gorgeous?" Hotohori gives the smaller seishi a long look, long enough for Nuriko to turn a bright rose color when he realizes what he just said. Suddenly very shy and nervous, he ducks his hand, twiddling with his hands anxiously.

"Um...Hotohori-sama...about that kissing scene...we don't have to do it if you want…I mean, Tama-chan is already nervous about having to kiss me on the cheek...so...um...we don't have to, you know." Hotohori frowns slightly.

"The Director won't be happy if we don't."

"Screw it," Nuriko grumbles. "If you don't want to, then I don't want to. Besides, it's not like she can't make something like that up in her mind, the weirdo." He sighs and gets to his feet. "Well, I'm going to go find Tama-chan and see if I can't torment him anymore." He bows slightly before retreating off towards the make-up room. Hotohori watches him go, an eyebrow raised slightly. He doesn't notice a fuming MoonshadowJedi in the shadows, who wonders where on Earth she went wrong with her matchmaking.

_Well, I'm gonna resolve this one quick! And for sure! If my name isn't MoonshadowJedi...and it is!_

She nods quickly before hurrying off to the make-up room.

-à-à-

Ten minutes later, the audience settles back into their seats, some wondering aloud whether or not this would be the last interruption of the night. The house lights dim once again and the orchestra quietly begins to play the instrumental of "In My Own Little Corner".

The curtains slide open to reveal the ballroom, currently being prepped for the ball. It's the most detailed set of the night, and the audience has a chance to glimpse it in its pre-glory. Their reaction, as Nashie had hoped, is of stunned awe.

The room itself follows a subtle rococo style. A spiral grand staircase, resilient in white marble with golden railings is pushed to all the way into the upstage area, and is currently being decorated with red, peach, and white roses, peaking from beneath thick emerald leaves. Servants are polishing the handrails and sweeping the stairs to make them pristine. Two small crystal chandeliers hang from silver ropes in the rigging system, but are currently turned off, as the other lights currently light up the entire stage. Thick green shrubbery lies behind two flats on stage right and stage left, which are outfitted with real Victorian glass doors that are being polished by even more servants. The entire set is painted in white, shades of blue, and the palest of pinks and lavenders.

Nuriko and Hotohori are standing at the foot of the grand staircase, talking to a man in a navy blue suit who is holding a scroll, and writing a few things down. Chichiri is currently standing on a ladder over one of the doors, hanging up a wreath of bright blue morning glories and crimson roses, and is humming the harmony of "The Prince is Giving A Ball".

At that moment, Tamahome appears at the top of the stairs, an angered look on his face. Dressed in a blue silk shirt and black pants, he looks every inch the dignified noble he's supposed to be – except for the look on his face. He descends at a frightening pace, and catches Nuriko's eye.

"Mother!" Nuriko winces.

"Eep!" He turns and walks away towards Chichiri. Tamahome races after him.

"Mother! Listen to me! You must call this ball off!" Nuriko smiles pleasantly.

"Not possible. It's difficult to stop once you've got the ball rolling." He laughs at his joke and continues to walk away. Tamahome scowls at the joke, and continues to follow. "Besides, what would we tell everyone?"

"Tell everyone that you went behind my back, and that you're very ashamed of yourselves." The look Nuriko gives Tamahome causes some people in the audience to snicker. The violet-haired young man blinks.

"Ashamed?" Hotohori, having overheard the conversation, walks up to them, a disapproving look on his face.

"I've never been ashamed of anything my entire life – I'm not about to start now."

A giggle can be heard backstage, of which the three actors choose to ignore. Tamahome storms up to the two older seishi, his fists clinched at this sides – the perfect picture of betrayed anger. Chichiri looks down at the parent-child feud and clears his throat quietly.

"I probably should not interfere…"

"Probably," the three brooding royals snap back. Chichiri clears his throat, slightly ruffled.

"But let us say the prince does go to the ball tonight…" Tamahome gives Chichiri a shocked look, glaring up at him.

"Traitor!"

Nuriko grins. "I like the sound of that."

"Lets say the prince does go to the ball tonight," continues Chichiri, "and he finds his future bride, na no da. Well, that's wonderful. But if he does not…" He trails off and looks at Tamahome pointedly.

Tamahome suddenly understands the lead, and a smile blooms across his face, causing many fangirls in the audience to flush, giggle, or fall over in suppressed squeals.

"Lionel, you're brilliant." He spins around to face his "parents". "Mother, Father, I'll go to the ball tonight. But if I don't find her tonight, you'll let me fall in love my own way, with no interferences, no matter how long it takes." Nuriko gives him a stunned look, and turns to Hotohori, a clear "is he serious" look on his face. Hotohori sighs, and gives a small shrug, and a smile.

"It does have a ring of fairness to it…" Nuriko looks from Hotohori to Tamahome and then back again, seeing that he has been defeated in the vote. Finally, he smiles, shaking his head and throwing up his arms in defeat.

"Well, I suppose," he says quietly. "If that's what you want…"

Tamahome smiles. "Thank you, Mother!" He hesitates, turns a familiar shade of scarlet, and then kisses the purple-haired seishi on the cheek before turning to give Hotohori a hug. One last faltering smile and he's gone. Nuriko smirks evilly at Tamahome's embarrassment, and crosses his arms. Chichiri winces, knowing either Tasuki or Nuriko will rub in the kiss after the scene, and he scratches behind his head nervously.

"Don't worry, Your Majesties. He'll find her tonight, no da. I can feel it in my bones." Nuriko gives him a deadpan look.

"You'll feel it in your bones if he doesn't."

He surreptitiously kicks the ladder as he passes, causing it to go slamming into the wall. The balance lost, Chichiri grabs the top rungs on the ladder, already in SD form. "Daaaaa!" He manages to right himself before he would have hurtled to the floor."Careful, Your Majesties…no da…"

Nuriko and Hotohori walk back to center stage, as Chichiri slides down the ladder and exits through one of the French doors. One by one, the servants start to exit as well as the light begin to dim, only leaving behind the blue scoop lights and the spotlights.

Nuriko sighs. "Are you sure it's wise to let him pick a bride on his own? He's young, and doesn't know what he's looking for..." Hotohori turns to him.

"I was young and didn't know what I was looking for when I married you...yet see how we've turned out." He frowns, a questioning look in his eyes. "Unless you're suggesting otherwise..."

"Oh, no! What did you think I meant? Just because we were both young, and you didn't know what you were looking for, doesn't mean I don't love you." The smaller seishi gives his "husband" a suspicious look. "Why did you say that? Do you think I don't?"

"Well...the way you phrased it..." Nuriko laughs aloud and links his arm through the taller young man's, shaking his head in exasperation. Backstage, Nashie is nearly jumping up and down in anticipation of her favourite song while Tasuki, free from his taped restraints and back in his costume, edges away from her. Chichiri, who has emerged from the curtains to join the crew of stage right, chuckles quietly and peers out over Nashie's shoulder to see the scene. Tama-neko and Mitsukake watch from behind the two shorter stage crew members, ready for the scene change to occur right after the song.

In the pit, the pianist begins playing his solo for "Boys and Girls Like You and Me". Sake slips up behind Nashie, and pokes in her the arm to alert her presence. Nashie gives a small wave, but wastes no time in conversation as the two fangirls gaze out onto the stage.

"So, you really did doubt me for a second." He smiles gently. "I love you, Max. And that's the truth.

**_'We walk on every city street_**

****

**_We walk in lanes where branches meet_**

****

**_And stars send their blessings from the blue_**

****

**_We go through storms of doubt and fear_**

****

**_And so we walk from year to year_**

****

**_Believe in each other as we go_**

****

**_Bravely marching forward, two by two'_**

He walks downstage, lost in his own thoughts, trailed by Hotohori.

**_'Boys and girls like you and me_**

****

**_Walk beneath the skies_**

****

**_They love just as we love_**

****

**_With the same dream in their eyes'_**

As the clarinets and flutes join in, Hotohori wraps his arm around Nuriko's waist, and they perform a slow waltz. Nashie is grinning like the Cheshire cat backstage, mirrored by Sake. Tasuki pokes Mitsukake and gestures to the two young women. Mitsukake laughs silently, shaking his head in sheer amusement.

**_'Songs and kings and many things_**

****

**_Have their day and are gone_**

****

**_But boys and girls like you and me_**

****

**_We go on and on'_**

Up in second balcony, Kaoru stares down at the scene with a fluttery romantic look on her face as she clings to Kenshin's arms. "How romantic!" Yahiko rolls his eyes.

"This is boring! It's a love song! Get back to the dancing!" Kenshin gives the young boy an embarrassed smile.

"They are dancing, de kozaru." Megumi nods in agreement.

"I agree with Kaoru-chan. It's very beautiful."

Sano grunts and crosses his arms.

In the first row, DJFiregirl watches with stars glittering in her eyes, swooning.

"He is SO hot...better than Orlando Bloom..." Ashley murmurs. Silverscape sighs, and tugs at her ear in exasperation.

"Nashie loves the shonen-ai."

Back on stage, Hotohori and Nuriko are completing the waltz and are singing the last refrain together.

**_"Songs and kings and many things_**

****

**_Have their day and are gone_**

****

**_But boys and girls like you and me_**

****

**_We go on..."_**

Nuriko sweeps into an elegant curtsy, his head bowed. Hotohori reaches out and lifts the violet-haired seishi's chin up to meet his eyes.

**_'...and on...'_**

He prepares to pull away for the blackout when Hotohori pulls him closely against him, tilts his head, engages him in a deep and passionate kiss. The smaller seishi's eyes go wide in pure shock, and his cheeks enflame to a startling red at the abrupt change in the scene. Whoops, cheers, and catcalls fly up from the audience, along with a loud, hearty round of applause, especially from the front row where a certain red-haired fangirl is jumping up and down. Nuriko, both flabbergasted and thrilled, decides to finally just give into the kiss, and he wraps his arms around Hotohori's neck, enjoying the moment while it lasts.

Backstage, Nashie's jaw drops to the ground – she placed a simple peck on the lips in the script! Finally, she manages to emit a small squeal of disbelief, never imagining in her wildest dreams that the two seishi would actually take it...ahem...somewhat further.

"Damn! That's one serious kiss." Tasuki's eyes are wide in disbelief.

Sake, next to her, is grinning wildly.

"Alright, baby!" She begins to sing, "_It's gettin' hot in heeere...so take off all your clothes..._" Nashie, however, has a totally different reaction.

"Oh, my god. If my brother finds out they're both guys, he's gonna FREAK!"

Up in the balcony, where the aforementioned brother is sitting, the small group of friends has a variety of actions. Jeff clamps his hand over his mouth, his shoulders shaking from repressed laughter. K-Rod raises an eyebrow, but other than that, his face is blank. Al takes one look at Big Brother and shakes his head.

"Man, I wish that was me kissing her." He sighs. "Alright, you two. Move it along. If I can't kiss her, nobody can!"

"Get a room," Big Brother mumurs under his beath.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Orlando, of course.

Backstage, Nashie is still trying to pull herself out her momentary state of shock. "Um...blackout? Please? Teki-chan? Anyone?"

"And disappoint all the fangirls in the audience?" Teki asks, sighing. "It's your funeral. Blackout, and a change to the stepevil's house."

The lights on stage go completely dark as the black curtains swing close. Nashie doesn't even wait for them to go out completely before she stomps out onto the set, grabs both Hotohori and Nuriko, and drags them over to stage right, muttering curses the entire way. As she passes a silently cheering Miaka and a mystified MoonshadowJedi, she gives the latter a slow, dangerous look.

"MJ, my headset is going to be off for the next five minutes or so while I yell my brains out at these two. Make sure the scene is finished within three minutes." MoonshadowJedi nods.

"Okay." She gives the two seishi sympathetic looks. "Don't go too hard on them, will you?"

"Moi? I'd never." To emphasize her statement, she squeezes harder down onto the two wrists in her hand, and storms off towards the make-up room. She kicks open the door and drags the two offenders in, not quite slamming the door behind her. Crossing her arms, she glares at the two, unfazed by the fact that she has to glare up at one of them

"THAT was not in the script!"

"It was completely my fault," Hotohori interrupts, though he doesn't look the least bit sorry for his actions, and Nashie can tell. She glares at him.

"Don't play noble now, Hotohori. That little fiasco out there – did I write that in the script? No. Did you ask me if you could do that? No. Will I be murdered when Disney finds out I have two guys kissing in their classic faerie tale? MOST LIKELY!" She grabs the nearest script and frantically pages through it. 'Short kiss on the cheek' – THAT'S what I wrote! Not a freakin' French kiss!"

"I thought we kept it clean," Nuriko pipes up, giving Nashie an innocent smile. Nashie throws the script down in frustration.

"Argh! I could really hit you right now. But damn it, I like you too much." She glares. "And that's what I put the kiss in there for in the first place. To make you happy. Not for you guys to go to first base..." Both Hotohori and Nuriko go red at this statement. Nashie mutters something under her breath, crossing her arms.

"Well..." Nuriko manages after a moment, "I'm happy..."

Nashie rubs her temples. "I'm glad to hear that. But I don't want to be sued. You know how bad that would be? Since I have, how do they say it, NO MONEY!" She sits down on a vacant chair, shaking her head. "You guys really better hope that everyone here is a fan of the show. And pray that my brother doesn't figure out that you're a guy." She gives Nuriko a pointed look.

"We're sorry, Nashie-chan." This time, Hotohori actually does look apologetic. "It won't happen again."

"It better not." Nashie's tone is harsh, and the two seishi give each other similar looks, preparing for another tirade. But Nashie, being Nashie, is hardly ever able to stay mad at people for long, and soon, a wide grin breaks out onto her face as she launches herself at the two seishi and pulls them into a hug. "Sooo...how serious was that kiss? Details, details, people!"

Nuriko blushes. "Um...that's none of your business..."

"Ooooh...you're both blushing...hehehehe! I wish I had my camera! You two look so sweet!"

Hotohori shakes his head slightly. "Nashie..."

"Okay, okay, okay. I get the point. But I'm going to find someway to get you two back for the ten years you just shaved off my life just now. How's that for a deal?"

Before either of them can respond, Nashie gives a flippant wave and saunters out of the make-up room. The two remaining seishi share terrified looks at the prospect of the foreboding promise, wondering if it was such a good idea after all not to break away from the kiss that will have many fans talking for days.

-à-à-


	9. 3B: Do You Believe in Magic?

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 3:B – DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

As Nashie enters back into the stage right wings, she notices that the scene is already in progress, thanks to MoonshadowJedi. She gives her friend a light punch to the shoulder, the smirk still dominant on her face. MoonshadowJedi raises an eyebrow, glancing over her shoulder to see Hotohori and Nuriko giving the director strange looks. "What did you do?"

"Oh..." Nashie grins. "Just warned them. That's all."

"Looks like you did more than that. What did you say?"

"Nothing of any consequence. C'mon, MJ, lets watch the musical. It's almost time for intermission anyway. We only have three more songs to go." She chuckles. "And then, onto the ball! Woo-hoo!" She pumps her fist in the air before strolling to the far curtain to head towards stage left.

"That girl gets stranger every time I meet her," MoonshadowJedi murmurs, shaking her head and sighing.

Chiriko smiles. "But that's why we like her, right?"

"I guess."

Out on stage, Subaru is trying in vain to instill some sort of attractive dignity into her two daughters, but it soon becomes clear that they are beyond all help. Miaka stands in the corner, watching them, a small smile on her face at the vain attempts of femininism. "Lets move on. Tell me what you're going to say to the prince. Joy?" Yui begins to scratch behind her neck.

"Well...you said to show him...there's more to me than mere beauty...so I thought I might recite a poem..." Nyan-Nyan snorts.

"A poem?"

"What's wrong with that?" Subaru, noticing the beginnings of a fight, steps between the two gracefully.

"Whatever you girls do, you musn't let the prince know how clever you are – men can't stand to be around clever women."

"Yes, mother."

Nashie emerges on stage left, and hurries up to where three of the Suzaku seishi are gathered around the wings to watch the play. She squeezes between them so that she has a decent view and throws them all a thumbs-up.

"So, didja kill either one of 'em?" Tasuki asks.

"I'm not a dominatrix," retorts Nashie indignantly, giving Tasuki a long, furious glare.

"I beg to differ."

"Grrr..." Chichiri places a soothing hand on the director's shoulder, and smiles brightly, immediately cooling down her quickly rising temper. She gives him a thankful, almost bashful, smile as she quickly jabs Tasuki in the ribs with her elbow.

"Ow!"

"No talking backstage."

"Argh!"

On stage, Miaka walks from her shadowed corner in the room after Subaru's spiteful response to her suggestion of not hiding your true self from your true love. "But whatever I said, we'd know we were meant to be together. Then he'd smile and kiss my hand..."

"That's so romantic!" Yui exclaims, hanging onto her every word.

"Say it again, Cinderella," Nyan-Nyan agrees.

Miaka is about to comply when Subaru storms over to her, shaking her head in anger and frustration, whitish curls bouncing from the force. Miaka blinks and steps away from the upset young woman, but as she does so, Subaru sweeps past her towards the couch and falls dramatically into it as the orchestra prepares to begin the next song. "Rubbish! This isn't about love – it's about marriage! Have I taught you girls nothing?

**_'Falling in love with love is falling for make-believe_**

****

**_Falling in love with love is playing a fool_**

****

**_Caring too much is just a juvenile fancy_**

****

**_Learning to trust is just for children in school'_**

She climbs to her feet, and starts headings towards the stairway in the upstage area. Yui and Nyan-Nyan obediently follow as Miaka pulls out a large box from behind the couch and begins pulling out feathered fans, outrageous hats, gloves, jewelry, and all other sorts of fanciful accessories.

**_'I fell in love with love one night when the moon was full_**

****

**_I was unwise, with eyes unable to see_**

****

**_I fell in love with love, love-everlasting_**

****

**_But love fell out with me!'_**

The trio hurries to the archway door in the balcony as the orchestra performs a solo portion of "Falling in Love with Love". Miaka hurries around the living room, separating the different accessories by color and size. Backstage, Nashie runs to the balcony portion of stage left, Chichiri in tow. She cranes her neck up to see Subaru waving down at them, indicating they're ready for the costume change.

"Alright!" She turns to Chichiri. "A bit of magic, magician mine?"

"Hai, no da." He closes his eyes, murmuring a spell beneath his breath. The costumes the stepevils are currently wearing melt into the masquerade ball gowns that Nashie took three days trying to design. Subaru wears a flamboyant black and blue gown, with a tapered waist and full skirt, her hair piled up on top of her hair with a black feather headpiece. Yui's contraption of a gown is pale-pink and orange dotted over with tiny luminescent pearls, so that she looks like walking sherbet. Nyan-Nyan's dress fortunately matches in color with different shades of green, but the fluffiness of it and the sheer amount of jewelry is almost ridiculous. "Are you making sure that everyone in the audience leaves blinded tonight?"

"Was that a joke? I couldn't tell."

Subaru gives one more final wave before entering through the balcony once more to complete the final stanza of her song. The audience cheers at the quick change of costumes, though some shrieks tell the director that the sheer amount of color is horrifying. Nashie manages a weak grimace and a smile of apology as she scampers back into the stage left wings.

**_'I fell in love with love one night when the moon was full_**

****

**_I was unwise with eyes unable to see!'_**

As the three stepevils march to the door, Miaka quickly hands them their fans, hats, and gloves as they snatch them out of their hands. Her job done, she steps back towards the couch, watching with indescribable sadness on her features.

**_"'I (she) fell in love with love, love-everlasting'"_**

****

****

Subaru opens the front door, allowing her two daughters out. Before turning to leave, she gives Miaka one last, icy look. **_'But love fell out...with me!'_** She exits through the door, slamming it behind her. The look on Miaka's face is one of total devastation. She sighs as orchestra begins to play a soft, quiet version of "In My Own Little Corner".

"Go to the ball? Me? I'd much rather sit here by the fire."

Backstage, Nashie gives Tasuki a long, evil look.

"Up on the balcony. Now."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He disappears behind the flat.

On stage, Miaka sits down on the couch, picking up a stray fan and flutters it in her face.

**_'In my own little corner, in my own little chair_**

****

**_I can be whatever I want to be_**

****

**_On the wings of my fancy, I can fly anywhere_**

****

**_And the world will open its arms to me_**

****

**_I am in the royal palace of all places_**

****

**_I am chatting with the prince and King and Queen_**

****

**_And the color on my two stepsisters faces_**

****

**_Is a queer sort of sour apple green'_**

She giggles quietly to herself, placing the fan down on the table.

**_'I am coy and flirtatious when alone with the prince'_** Oh, Your Highness. She sighs sadly, fighting back tears.

**_'I am the belle of the ball on my own little corner_**

****

**_All alone...'_** Miaka buries her face in her hands, sobbing.

"Teki, get ready for the spotlight on the balcony," Nashie instructs. Teki makes an affirmative noise on the other end of the headset. Nashie turns her attention back to the stage.

"I wish, oh, how I wish I could go to the ball," Miaka wishes quietly, through her tears.

Just then, all the lights on the stage go out, except for the spotlight on Miaka. Suddenly, there is a figure standing on the balcony, leaning over to stare down at the small brunette. A glittering spotlight comes up on him, revealing it to be Tasuki, looking as handsome as ever, especially with the cool smirk on his face.

**_'Falder-ra and fideldy-dee_**

****

**_Fiddeldy fadally fadle_**

****

**_All the dreamers in the world are poppy-cock and twadle'_**

Miaka gasps and turns to look up at Tasuki. "What in the world? Who are you?" Tasuki grins.

"I'm your faerie godmother." Miaka gives him a blank stare.

"But you're a guy." Snickers erupts from the audience, and Tasuki flushes in embarrassment.

"Yes, I'm a guy. You have a problem with that? Because they don't exactly license what type of faerie you get t'be down at the faerie employment place. Right, now, I'm all that's available." He glares at Miaka, who winces.

"I didn't mean to offend you. It's just that I never dreamed..."

**_'Falder-ra and fideldy-dee_**

****

**_Fiddeldy fadally foodle_**

****

**_All the dreamers in the world...are, uh...um, dizzy in the noodle!'_**

"That's terrible," critiques Miaka after a moment, causing Tasuki to scowl.

"It rhymed, didn't it?"

"No, that's not what I meant. It's what you said about dreamers. Why shouldn't people dream?" Tasuki looks heavenwards.

"This is gonna be a long night." He slides down the banisters to land on the stage, and hops off, ignoring the shrieks of dozens of fangirls in the audience.

Backstage, Nashie watches in silent approval as Miaka and Tasuki continue to talk about dreams. She crosses her arms, leans against the wall, and closes her arms, praying to the God in heaven that nothing else bad happens tonight.

"Excuse me, ma'am? Are you the director?"

Nashie opens one eye, only to stare into the flushed face of a short young woman with big blue eyes and russet-colored hair, a notebook draped under her arm, and headphones hanging around her neck. Nashie blinks for a moment, cocking her head to the side and giving Chichiri and Mitsukake odd looks. They both shrug, and wait to see Nashie's response.

Nashie sighs and straightens up. "Yeah, I go by that title sometimes."

"Thank god! I thought I'd never find the backstage area! You know how many doors are that lead to nowhere in this theatre?"

"Um...I guess I do now. What's up, kid?"

"I'm not a kid! I'm almost sixteen!"

"Ah...but you didn't answer my question."

"Oh. Um...I'm Neko-ane. I was watching the musical in the audience – it's really good by the way – and I heard some people talking about sabotaging it." Nashie shares a suddenly worried look with Mitsukake and Chichiri. Of all the times and places, someone wanted to get their revenge on her now?

"O-okay...um...are you sure you heard them correctly?"

"They were talking about finding the origins of something called the Text. That's all I remember, really." Nashie gives the small girl a long look, and then scratches her head.

"The text? What text? Like a textbook? "

"Just, 'the text'." Neko-ane gives a slight shrug of one of her shoulders.

"Great. Just great," mutters Nashie. "I don't have any texts back here except for the script." She chews on her bottom lip, thinking quickly. "Okay, we're going to solve this the easy way. Neko-ane, can you do my a really big favour? After this scene, I want you and Chichiri to go and find these people and ask them what they mean by the texts. I'll help them if I can, if it means I can stop them from ruining my musical...are you okay, Neko-ane?"

At this point, a dazed look has come over Neko-ane's face at the mention of Chichiri's name. Nashie waves a hand in front of her face. "Yo? Neko-ane?"

"Did you say...Chichiri?"

"Yeah. He's right there behind you." Neko-ane lets out a yelp of surprise, spins around, and launches herself at the blue-haired monk. Chichiri's arms spiral outwards as he struggled to maintain his balance. He looks down at the girl now firmly attached to him, and gives Nashie a look. Nashie manages a small giggle, and shrugs her shoulders helplessly. Mitsukake gives the smaller man a sympathetic look.

"It's you, it's you, it's you, it's you, it's you!"

Chichiri sweatdrops, giving Nashie a confused and embarrassed look. "I guess it's me, no da."

"I love you, I love you, I love you!"

"Um...arigato gozaimasu, na no da." Nashie sighs, rubbing the back of her head in exasperation. Of all the people to come back here and warn here of impending doom, she just had to be a Chichiri fangirl.

"Alright...um, Neko-ane? This is really important. Do you think you can avoid further physical interaction with Chichiri until you find these people? After all, we're on a really tight schedule." Neko-ane pulls away from her favourite monk and flushes.

"Gomen nasai, Miss Director Ma'am. I'll try."

Out on stage, the set has already changed to that of the garden outside of the stepevil's house, easily rendered by just raising the flats that composed the house. Blue and violet scoop lights create a moonlit glow onto the greenery, casting long dark shadows. Near one of the stage left trees lay a group of pumpkins varying in height. Strategically placed bushes create a sense of depth on the stage as Miaka and Tasuki step towards the lip of the stage, a blue spotlight on each of them.

Miaka, jogging after Tasuki, calls after him, "Wait. If impossible things are happening every day, then why can't I have impossible hopes and dreams? Even something as impossible as going to the ball?" Tasuki turns around and grins at her.

"Then go to the ball, Cinderella. No one's stoppin' you but you."

"But I have no way to get there," Miaka reminds him despondently. Tasuki frowns.

"You've gotta a point there." Miaka clasps her hands together.

"Godmother, I've been wishing as hard as I can."

Nashie grins at seeing Tasuki turn an angry red at being called 'Godmother', but fortunately, the young man doesn't fall out of character by ranting and raving about his not being a woman. "I know you have. Go on, stand over there, and let me see if I can do somethin' about this." He playfully pushes Miaka behind him, before gesturing to one of the pumpkin in the back of the stage. Glittery faerie magic, compliments of the special effects managers, swirl from Tasuki's fingertips to the pumpkin, which moves slightly, but abruptly goes back to its resting place. "When I say move, I mean move." He gives the pumpkin an irritated look before gesturing again.

The pumpkin shudders and begins rolling towards the lip of the stage, earning oohs and aahs from the audience. As the orange vegetable continues to roll around the stage, it gradually gets bigger and bigger, turning into an ivory white. Vines that twisted from the step curled around the lower half of the pumpkin, hardening and turning into an iridescent gold. The vines warped and shifted to become the wheels and the driver's seat of the white carriage. A door formed into the side of the pumpkin-shaped carriage, and swings open, to reveal a plush white velvet interior.

Miaka's hands fly to her mouth. "Oh my goodness!" Tasuki grins.

"Okay...now we just need some horses."

He looks around the garden for the mice, but fails to see any. He frowns and surreptitiously meets Nashie's gaze in the wings.

"Um...MJ?" Nashie calls over the headset. "Were the mice out there for the scene change?"

"Yessss...they were behind the big tree where the pumpkins were."

Nashie looks out towards Tasuki. "Oh, boy. Ne...Chichiri...do you think...?"

"...I could make a horse out of nothing? I'm not too sure, no da. They could end up going rampant and trampling someone on stage." Nashie winces at the thought of Tasuki and Miaka getting trampled on stage, and the poor reviews they would get for their musical.

"Damn. We can't keep going without the horses."

"Excuse me..." Neko-ane pipes up.

"And you're positive that there aren't any behind the tree?" asks Mitsukake, glancing out onto the stage.

Nashie follows his gaze, and looks out on the set. "Yeah..."

Neko-ane waves her hand. "Excuse me..."

"Tasuki's getting mad, no da. And the audience is getting restless."

Nashie raises her eyes skyward. "Why? Why is everything going wrong tonight? Is this punishment for eating all those Krispy Kremes last week? Argh!"

Neko-ane, frustrated at being ignored, finally tugs Nashie's sleeve. "Miss Director Ma'am! Look!" Nashie follows her gaze to where the small redhead is pointing, and see something small moving in the darkness. She grins, letting out a whoosh of breath, before kneeling next to the shadowed area and grabbing whatever it is by the tail. She frowns as she tugs on it, wondering when such a tiny mouse got so heavy. She tugs even harder and finally pulls the small mammal out from the darkness.

"When did you get so heavy...?" And once into the light, she finally gets a good look at the creature.

Neko-ane lets out a yelp and jumps behind Chichiri. "It's a-a-a..."

Now Nashie usually thinks members of the rodent family are incredibly adorable – mice, ferrets, rabbits, and hamsters are all at the top of her list of being superbly cute. But when faced with a filthy, foot-long monstrosity with beady-red eyes and sharp teeth, she is prone to panicking.

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!"

She drops the huge rodent onto the ground, immediately going into prissy girl mode, shaking in disgust and repeating 'ew, ew, ew!' over and over again. The rat flops to the ground, but makes no move to go scampering off stage. Instead, it just sits there, looking up at the disgusted director as if she were insane. Chichiri sighs at Nashie's antics.

"Wait a second, guys!" MoonshadowJedi suddenly calls over the headset, excited. "I found them. All seven of them. They were on the wrong side of the stage. Tell Tasuki he can keep going on with the scene." Nashie lets out a sigh of relief.

"Thank God!" She gestures to Tasuki. On stage, the young man has crossed his arms, looking quite irritable before turning to stage right and glancing for the cage of mice.

"Let's try this again." He waves his hand towards the mice, and four of them scamper into view. As they do, they grow larger, their stubby legs turning into the powerful and graceful ones of white horses, white manes swishing down their necks, and their little pink tails disappearing into the lush ivory tails of the white stallions. Black bridals attached around their muzzle lengthen and drop onto the driver's seat.

"They're so beautiful!" enthuses Miaka, giving Nashie a sly look that obviously says that she hopes the horses stay put.

"Horses, a carriage...now we just need..." He glances at the three remaining mice and snaps his fingers. Immediately standing in the place of the mice are three black-haired men, dressed in pristine suits and three-cornered hats complete with white feathers. They look around in confusion before walking towards the carriage. The footmen take their place at the door in the carriage, while the driver pulls himself up onto the set to drive the carriage.

Tasuki looks over his work. "So we have footmen, a driver, a carriage, and horses...I know I'm forgettin' somethin'." Miaka looks down at her brown dress and apron with a bit of a smile on her face. Tasuki turns back to her, and smirks. "Of course! Almost forgot about that. C'mon. Turn around. Can't make me do all the work by myself."

Miaka obliges and begins to spin slowly. The audience immediately gives rapt attention to the stage, awaiting the most magical part of the musical. Tasuki gives Miaka one look before nodding and waving at her with both hands. Magical silvery-blue and golden dust spins into the air as the orchestra softly begins to play a soft rendition of "Impossible". As Miaka is spinning, the sparkles surround her in a beautiful shimmering cloud, turning her into some kind of mystical faerie princess. The brown of her working frock lightens to a beautiful sparkling silver, so pale that it nearly looks white. Silver and crimson ribbons crisscross across the bodice of the dress, and hang down delicately on the full, gossamer like skirt. The sleeveless dress blooms out around Miaka's slender form like a rose, a silver billowing cape-like veil sprouting from the shoulders. White gloves that slide past her elbows magically appear on her arms while pearl-and-ruby teardrop necklaces sparkles into existence at her throat, the matching pearls dangling at her ears. A ruby and diamond tiara appears in her mass of auburn hair, now tumbling in curls over her shoulders.

A gasp of wonder arises from the audience at the image Miaka presents. While the girl was already cute beyond words, Chichiri's magic (and Nashie's sharp eye for beautiful dresses) has turned the sweet maiden into a stunning faerie tale princess. In fact, both miko and seishi make an extraordinary pair – Miaka in her silver ball gown, Tasuki in his golden faerie costume. Even the aforementioned bandit seems astounded by the magic worked on his priestess, despite the fact that he was one of the few who saw the dress before tonight.

Miaka stops spinning and opens her eyes. "Oh, my..."

Even Nashie is a bit dumbfounded. "Wow...points for us, huh, Chichiri?"

"Hai, no da." Nashie frowns as she peers at the details of the dress.

"But in the original dress, there was no red. But you added red ribbons and rubies. What's up with that?"

"Just a little nod to our patron god, na no da." Neko-ane looks out at the Suzaku no miko and gasps.

"That is so cool. She looks like a real princess!"

Miaka lifts the skirt of her dress to reveal a pair of glass shoes, and models them off for the audience. Tasuki finally seems to snap out of his reverie, and a grin slips onto his face. "Not a bad job, if I do say so myself." A grateful smile appears on Miaka's face.

"Thank you!" She glomps onto Tasuki. "Thank you so much!"

Tasuki blushes slightly, but quickly tries to hide it. "There's just one thing you gotta remember, kid. You have to leave the ball before midnight, okay? It's very important."

Miaka's face falls. "Twelve?"

"Don't make that face. We all have rules t'follow, and that's one of 'em. That magic only lasts 'til midnight." He shoos her towards the carriage. Now, go on. You got a ball to get to!" Miaka smiles again and races towards the carriage, easily helped in by one of the footmen. Tasuki walks up to the door as Miaka leans out one of the windows. She leans down and gives the seishi a small peck on the cheek as the orchestra explodes into the reprise of "Impossible".

**_'It's possible!_**

****

**_For a plain yellow pumpkin to become a golden carriage!_**

****

**_It's possible!_**

****

**_For a plain country bumpkin and a prince to join in marriage!'_**

**_'And four white mice are easily turned to horses!_**

****

**_Such falder-ra and fiddle-de-de, of course is!_**

****

**_Quite possible!'_**

**_"It's possible!"_**

**_'For the world is full of zanies and fools...'_**

**_'Who don't believe in sensible rules...'_**

Miaka grins. **_'And won't believe won't sensible people say...'_**

**_"And because these daft and dewey-eyed dopes_**

****

**_Keep building up impossible hopes_**

****

**_Impossible things are happening every day!"_**

Nashie gives Neko-ane and Chichiri a thumbs-up before shooing them towards the stage entrance door. As soon as they are gone, she turns back to Mitsukake, who has raised his eyebrow at the thought of leaving Chichiri alone with the russet-haired girl. She gives him a long glowering look before bursting out into laughter. "I'm so glad I'm not Chiri-baby right now."

"So...this disaster is averted?" Sake asks from the sound room.

"Hopefully. It depends how well Chiri-baby can work his magic. Maybe he'll just make them go to sleep and that'll be over with."

On stage, Miaka and Tasuki are finishing up the song.

**_'It's possible!'_**

****

****

**_'It's possible!'_**

**_"It's possible!"_**

The music swells as the two teenagers hold the last note together, earning whoops and hollers from the audience. As soon as they end on the last note, the lights on the stage go dark, and the red curtains swings close, signaling the end of the scene, and the end of the first act. Out in the audience, the house lights rise to full – time for intermission. The audience erupts in cheers at the last scene before breaking off into conversations. Many people rise to take a bathroom break while others venture into the lobby to see if they can find anyone they know.

Backstage, Tasuki offers Miaka a hand to get out of the carriage before it disappears in a cloud of magic. Both of them are widely grinning as they step back into the stage left wings, and are swept into hugs from the director. "That was excellent! You guys were great out there!"

Miaka grins and then winks at the taller girl. "Remember, we can't let Tamahome or Hotohori or Nuriko see this dress yet."

"I know. Praise Suzaku, you look beautiful Miaka! I mean, wow!" Miaka blushes slightly.

"It's really nice. And it's not uncomfortable either! Really flowy and cool." She looks around. "Hey, where's Chichiri? I wanted to thank him."

"Averting disaster," Mitsukake replies with an amused shake of his head. "He has to go and talk to some people in the audience who may cause trouble for us later during the performance."

"Hey, Nashie. How long's this intermission, anyway?" Tasuki asks.

"Fifteen minutes. Long enough to get ready for the ballroom scene, and long enough for the people in the audience to go to the bathroom." She checks her watch. "This play really shouldn't exceed too far past ten. Besides, we still have a cast party to attend to."

"You never did tell us where..."

"Because it's still a surprise...aren't those wonderful?" Tasuki pretends to be surprised.

"You mean, you're gonna treat us by takin' us all to Burger King? Real nice of you."

Nashie scowls. "I'm not that cheap, Gen-chan."

"Oh, really."

"You really love the Big Stuffed Fish, don't you?" At Tasuki's look, Nashie smiles. "I thought so. Alright, Mits, we have to set up for the ballroom scene. Tasuki, Miaka, make sure that no one sees you for fifteen minutes. We want that surprise reaction at Cinderella's appearance to be genuine. Got it, kids?" At their nods, Nashie grins and drags Mitsukake out onto the set to meet up with the rest of stage crew.

-à-à-


	10. 3C: Be Vewwy, Vewwy Quiet

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 3:C – BE VEWWY, VEWWY QUIET

In the first row of the audience, Nashie's invites are currently stretching their blood-starved limbs after sitting in their seats for over an hour straight. Dreamlessdays immediately opens his backpack, removing a honey bun and unwrapping it, ignoring the odd looks he received from the females in the group.

"It's been an hour," DJFiregirl begins to mutter, "and I still haven't been able to get a good shot of my bishonen." She fingers the camera restlessly. "I'm gonna kill Nashie if she doesn't let me near one of 'em."

"Well, she can't do it now," Silverscape reminds her. "We're in the middle of a play."

"I didn't know there were so many cute guys in this musical..." Ashley murmurs to herself. "I want one too!"

"I wonder where Nashie found that dress at..." MidnightSun278 says quietly, a thoughtful look on her face. DJFiregirl pops up from her seat and begins to edge her way towards the aisle, ignoring the protests of her friends. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to find a bishonen. I'll be back before the next act starts." She disappears in the crowd. The remaining group of four share wary looks. When DJFiregirl wants something, DJFiregirl will get something.

Beware, all bishonen.

-à-à-

Back behind the closed curtains, stage crew steps back to admire the complete ballroom scene, which looks almost exactly as it had during the confrontation scene except a glass chandelier hangs from the rigging above and all the flowers are in place. Two thrones for the King and Queen are pushed against the stage right flat, currently occupied by Nashie and Sake as they play paper-rock-scissors.

"Paper, rock, scissors, shoot!" She creates rock while Sake creates paper. "Damn!"

"Fifteen to three! Paper, rock, scissors, shoot!" She creates scissors while Nashie creates paper. Sixteen to three!" Nashie scowls bitterly. Teki walks up to them with MoonshadowJedi, trailing behind.

"This play is going really well, you two. Everyone in the audience likes it."

"Thank Suzaku!" Nashie mutters. "I don't know what I would have done if they didn't like it. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot! Damn!"

"Seventeen to three," Sake exclaims with a smile. "So what are we going to do next time, Supreme Director? Paper, rock, scissors, shoot!"

"A-ha! I got one! Um...I don't know. I really want to do _Moulin Rouge_, now. But then, I realized that we don't have to stick to musicals. Maybe _Pirates of the Caribbean_. I always wanted to see my babies in pirate outfits. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot! Damn!"

"Are you trying to lose, Nashie?" MoonshadowJedi asks.

"_Pirates of the Caribbean_? Let me guess. Tamahome will play Will Turner, Miaka will be Elizabetth Swann, Hotohori will be Jack Sparrow, and Tasuki will be Barbossa. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot. Eighteen to four. Right?"

"You know me too well. But I loved that movie. Paper, rock, scissors, shoot! Gods, Sake-chan. You suck! It's like you're psychic or something."

"I'm surprised you didn't do _Titanic_, like Tasuki suggested," Teki jokes. MoonshadowJedi nods, also knowing about Nashie's obsession with the ill-fated passenger ship.

"The whole sinking ship thing wouldn't have gone over real well on stage," Nashie reminds them.

"We could do _Ocean's Eleven_. I mean, it's fun and the guys get to dress up in suits. It shouldn't be a stretch for most of the actors." Nashie's eyes light up.

"I loved that movie. That would be cool. We should do that. Of course, that's a hell of a lot of scene changes."

"Paper, rock, scissors, shoot! Twenty to four. We could pull it off if we could move to a bigger theatre."

"Do you guys want to do that?" Nashie asks thoughtfully.

Teki nods. "Sure. We'll have to get some funds for it. I suggest we go down to Chicago to perform our next musical or play or whatever. We could get a bigger audience, and more people equals more money. We'd be able to pay for the expenses, no problem." Sake and MoonshadowJedi nod in agreement.

Nashie smiles a bit. "But what are we going to do next?"

Suddenly, her headset crackles to life.

"Nashie? We seem to have a disturbance in the lobby."

"What kind of disturbance, Mits?"

"A Chichiri-induced disturbance."

"Oh, great. Let me guess – fangirls are swarming my poor baby?"

"Right on the dot."

"Great. Just great." She sighs and hops up from the throne. "Okay, you guys. Our intermission is over. Back to work unfortunately. MoonshadowJedi, the only prop that's going to be of major importance for this act is the glass slipper. Make sure you get it from Tamahome as soon as this act is over. Teki, only two lighting changes for this act, remember. The ballroom, and then the palace gardens. This biggest lights we have going on here are the spotlights. And Sake..."

"Mikes. Keep 'em working."

"Good girl. Alright, people. I'm outta here to go rescue Chiri-baby. I'll be back in around five to ten minutes."

She waves and departs from the stage. The three remaining stage crewmembers give each other knowing looks before returning to their designated spots in the wings.

-à-à-

Out in the lobby, a huge swarm of fangirls have converged into a tightly-packed circle near the entrance to one of the hallways. Some security guards share wary looks at the idea of having to separate the squealing group of girls, while the ticket boy and the coatcheck woman try to ignore the starstruck females.

Nashie enters into the lobby from the opposite hallway, and winces at seeing the large group of cheerful girls. It was never this bad with Kenshin (which she guessed was only because most of the audience hadn't arrived yet or were already situated in their seats). Either way, she knew that whatever she was about to get herself into, she was probably going to regret it in the morning.

Taking a deep breath, she squeezes into their midst.

"Sorry! Coming through! Pardon me! Excuse moi! I just need to get to...a-ha!" Despite her efforts, she is still managing to get squished and prodded at. "Ouch! Geez...owie!" _What was I thinking, letting Chichiri leave the backstage area?_ She suddenly catches sight of a familiar face. "Neko-ane! Neko-ane!"

Neko-ane winces. "Hey...Director...um...this was completely not our fault..."

"I kinda of figured...ow..." She is still getting pushed and shoved by various fangirls. "Lost sight...of...Chiri-baby?" Neko-ane gives her a frustrated look.

"Almost immediately after we got swarmed." Nashie sighs, quickly doing some calculations in her head.

"Alright then. We're going to go Chichiri-diving. I want you to take a deep breath until we resurface. Kind of like swimming." Neko-ane seems a bit hesitant of "swimming" in a sea of obsessed fangirls, but nods anyway. "If you find him in this crowd first, grab him and make a break for the backstage area. I'll find those two culprits myself, okay?"

"Gotcha."

"Okay, then. Here we go." She takes a deep breath, pinches her noses, and dives into the crowd of fangirls, following by Neko-ane. Immediately, they're surrounded by various limbs clad in jeans, skirts, or slacks. Stamping feet seem to always crunch down on various portions of Nashie's anatomy, making her curse mentally as she searches for some sign of her monk. _This is ridiculous. Woo...I'm getting kinda of light-headed...it's kind of like swimming...Chichiri, where are you?_

Unfortunately for her, she catches no sign of the monk, and realizes that she is going to have to resurface soon or else she's going to die of lack of oxygen. She searches vainly through the copse of legs, angered over her own stupidity to send Chichiri of all seishi to go looking for the two people ready to cause chaos...

Suddenly, Nashie feels a hand latch onto her ankle, and before she knows it, is getting dragged from the sea of people faster than she can blink. She watches in stunned shock as people go whizzing past her at astonishing speed, replaced by the cool red and gold of the lobby, which is then replaced by the wide and spacious area of the hallway. A few seconds later, Nashie finds herself sitting on the crimson carpet of the second-floor area right next to the stairway located near the stage-right entrance. She gasps for air, trying to refill her longs with precious oxygen. A slightly dazed Neko-ane does the same thing next to her while a hassled Chichiri smoothes out his ruffled clothing.

"Who...?" Nashie sputters out, before catching a cheerful redhead doing a dance of victory.

"No need to fear! The Great and Powerful Redhead is here!"

"DJFiregirl!" Nashie latches onto her with a ferocious glomp. "You came!"

"Of course I came. With the promise of bishonen, I'll come anywhere! It seems to me as if you needed some help though." She gestures towards Chichiri.

"You could say that...it was my own fault anyway."

"Don't blame yourself, no da. It couldn't have been helped, na no da!" DJFiregirl squeals and tackles Chichiri, causing the poor monk to go flailing back. Neko-ane frowns slightly at the violent hug.

"Chichiri is mine." Nashie, seeing the sparks already beginning to heat up beneath Neko-ane, laughs nervously and pulls everyone up to their feet. Neko-ane shoots DJFiregirl a long-suffering look as the other redhead grins broadly at the unfortunate seishi.

"Okay, listen. DJFiregirl, we have a bit of a crisis we need to attend to. Do you think you can help us out by getting rid of all the fangirls in the lobby? I don't to have anybody try to tackle Chichiri again." She sighs. "I swear, hormones on females always go into overdrive when cute guys appear on the scene."

Chichiri raises an eyebrow at Nashie. "And you're exempt from this, no da?"

Nashie chucks him in the back of the head. "You know what I mean. Anyway, Neko-ane, Chichiri, and I will look for these two Text-seekers. I can use by Big Stuffed Fish to ward away any desperate fangirls and if all else fells, Chichiri can teleport us out of there."

Chichiri opens his mouth to tell Nashie that he can't teleport anybody without his hat, but is already too late. DJFiregirl waves to them as she bounces down the stairs and heads towards the lobby. Neko-ane and Nashie immediately take defensive stances around Chichiri as they head towards the side entrance to the theatre.

"Let's try this one more time."

She swings open the door to the auditorium, as squints as her eyes adjust to the relative dimness of the theatre compared to the bright florescent lights of the hallway. A few fangirls squeal at seeing Chichiri, but none actually make a move to tackle him to his doom. Neko-ane looks around the theatre, searching for her seat, hoping that the couple hadn't decided to use the intermission to their advantage. Her big blue eyes fall on the seats in her area, and she grins as she notices that the two young people are still sitting there. "There they are! Over there!"

Nashie looks around the theatre. "Where? I don't...oh. You mean the Matrix couple. Why are they wearing sunglasses in a theatre?" She looks to wear they sit – right in the middle of the auditorium, which is only easily accessible by one of the two aisles that leads from the lobby. From where they stand, they must cross over the seats of those who were already sitting down to get there without being noticed. Nashie grimaces – it was one of the few reasons why she hated going to theatre or anywhere else where she had to have such physical contact with strangers. Plus, she hated to disrupt anyone already comfortably seated.

Unfortunately, they had no choice, and the trio find themselves scooting across the laps of theatre-goers (though some fangirls were nearly in heaven at the thought of being in such close proximity to one of the Suzaku seishi). Nashie manages not to fall over anyone or trip over any purses, and she finally makes it to wear the Matrix couple is sitting. Chichiri and Neko-ane aren't too far behind her.

"Um, hello, guys. I heard that you wanted to tell me something. Ask me about something called the text?"

The guy frowns at her. "Yes. We did."

"We've managed to track the source of them to someone Silverscape and MidnightSun278 know," the girl adds on. The minute the two girls' names are mentioned, a worried look appears on Nashie's face.

"Oh...really? What are these texts?" The young man pulls out a folded letter from his pocket and hands it to her.

"This is the text. Do you know of its origin?" Nashie opens up the slip of paper and reads it, a surprised and suddenly fearful look coming onto her face. She quickly changes her expression back to neutral as she hands the letter back. "Well?"

"I'm sorry," Nashie responds quietly. I have no idea who this belongs to, or even how to decipher it. I'm sorry that I wasn't of any help to you." The girl gives Nashie a long, thoughtful look and then frowns.

"Well, then. We're sorry too."

Nashie backs up to make her retreat, noticing the weapons the two hold. She gulps back in fear, grabs Neko-ane and Chichiri's hands, and makes a bolt to the lobby, the quickest way to exit the auditorium. She doesn't notice that she's being watched by amused eyes. The mysterious figure smiles coyly, rolling a mage globe in her hand.

"It seems as if they disrupted my magic. Oh, well. I guess it's time to try something even harder."

The globe in her hand splits into multiple fragmented pieces, each no bigger than the eraser of a pencil. Each of the globes differ in color and chime a different note on completely different octaves. A smile slips onto her face as the tiny globes fly up into the air and then separate, the majority flying towards the stage while two fly towards the retreating director and one of the Suzaku seishi.

"Try to break this."

-à-à-

Backstage, Tasuki and Miaka are currently engaged in a game of thumb-wrestling, Miaka giggling quietly at the fact that she can't seem to win, due to Tasuki's advanced seishi speed. They are both sitting the dark recesses of stage left, both completely invisibly to any of the cast and crew walking by. She punches him playfully on the shoulder as she loses yet again, a grin appearing on her cherub-like features.

"You're cheating." Tasuki rolls his eyes.

"Don't blame me because you can't win. Try again."

They engage once more, not noticing the two mage globes hovering over them. Miaka is once again quickly defeated, and she falls back on her heels. The two orbs overhead twirl gently, before descending and landing on each head, dissolving before either realizes something is wrong.

"There. I'm not cheatin'. You're just a lousy player..."

"I am not! Let's play again! I'll show you I'm good!"

Miaka reaches her hand towards his, but then stops as she does so. She frowns, and blinks her eyes, trying to clear her suddenly blurred vision. She notices Tasuki has the same look of consternation on his face, and opens her mouth to ask him what's wrong. But her voice fails her as piercing note erupts in her skull, sending flashing lights bouncing around in her head. She lets out a small gasp of pain before slumping over in the dark, falling against Tasuki's chest just as the same mysterious headache overwhelms him...

-à-à-

On the other side of the stage, MoonshadowJedi watches as Bob tinkers with a few switches on her camera when the blinding lights of pain overwhelm their senses...

-à-à-

In the light command center, Teki draws in a sharp intake of breath as a migraine makes her eyes squeeze shut in pain so that she doesn't notice the same reaction from Miku...

-à-à-

In the make-up room, dozens of little Nyan-Nyans run around in consternation as Yui and Subaru check their friends for vital signs. One moment they were having a cheerful conversation, and the next, Tamahome, Hotohori, and Nuriko were groaning in pain as ferocious headaches erupted in their skulls...

-à-à-

Mitsukake grasps his head in shock as his vision blurs and a wave of dizziness overtakes him. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Chiriko kneeling on the ground, his hands clapped over his ears...

-à-à-

An empty can of soda drops to the ground as the same spell entangles itself onto Sake and C-Guy...

-à-à-

In the lobby, Nashie breaks through one of the doors leading to one of the side hallways, grateful that DJFiregirl had already done her duty and dispersed the copse of fangirls. Chichiri and Neko-ane give her odd looks as she hurries towards the stage entrance door.

"You recognized it, didn't you, no da?" Nashie gulps, and then nods reluctantly.

"Yes. I did."

"Well...what is it...?" Neko-ane asks, altogether curious over what the infamous text really is. Nashie flushes in embarrassment.

"It's a long story. But at least I know who those two people are now. But if they figured this much out so far..." She shakes her head. "I might be in trouble."

Chichiri gives her a sympathetic look. "Don't worry, no da. It can't be that serious."

Nashie is about to give her a sarcastic reply when she stops dead in tracks, a pounding headache suddenly springing up at her temples. She rubs the bridge of her nose slightly, a frown appearing on her face, especially when she sees the same surprised look of pain appear on Chichiri's face.

"What the?"

And then the world went white.

-à-à-

Back in the recesses of stage left, Miaka stirs slightly against Tasuki's chest, just as the red-haired bandit does the same. She blinks wide green eyes in confusion, looking around the stage as if it were made of jelly.

"How in the world did I get over here...?" she asks. Tasuki looks down at the auburn head leaning against his chest, and suddenly frowns.

"Miaka? What are you doing, no da?" Miaka frowns and looks up, peering at the celestial warrior in confusion.

"Tasuki?" Tasuki frowns at his name, and haphazardly glances down at what he's wearing and suddenly turns an unhealthy shade of white. He rushes to his feet, causing Miaka to sit up from her resting position and give the redhead a slow, surprised glare. Only then does she notice the white gossamer material she has on.

"Is this somebody's idea of a joke?" she exclaims, showing an uncharacteristic display of anger.

Tasuki suddenly shakes his head, reaching up to touch his face with a shaky hand. "You're not Miaka, are you?" Miaka scowls.

"Listen, Fang-Boy...I'm not in mood right now...did you put this dress on me...?" She suddenly clears her throat. "What the...?" She frowns. "Why do I sound like Miaka...?" Tasuki gestures slightly and a small mirror appears in his hand.

"Take a look." Miaka frowns at the show of magic from a magically-inept seishi, but still takes hold of the mirror. One second passes...then two...

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Tasuki winces at the scream.

"I was expecting that, no da." He shakes his head and places a hand on Miaka's shoulder. "Calm down, no da. We'll figure this out...Tamahome."

-à-à-

Author's Note: (12-21-04) Hi, everyone. (avoids getting hammered by angered fans) I know. It's been over four months since I've updated anything, and I'm truly sorry about that. School started, and I really had _no_ extra time to do anything. My story pretty much sat on my computer and collected dust. But I'm finally getting my rear in gear, and updating as quickly as I can before work starts for my school's spring musical, _Guys and Dolls_.

So, let's see. I have one more chapter to revise, and then…I have to find my notes for the final chapters of Cinderella. And my final draft for the rest of the four stories in the Theatre Seires is up under my fanfiction profile. Check it out.

Once again, thanks for your patience.

X

(4-07-04) Um…yeah. This is revised too. Oh, by the way, I still am planning on doing three more productions after this one. For sure I'm doing _Pirates of the Caribbean_ and _Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers: The Movie_ (insert evil laughter here). I can't wait to see how the latter turns out. Bishonen in spandex. Heck yeah! But for my second musical, there's a three-way tie between _Beauty and the Beast_, _The Pajama Game_, and _Moulin Rouge_. Before I said Mulan, but I have no idea how to perform the Huns coming down the hill thing on stage. So I need you guys to vote, vote, vote. Who knows? I may end up doing all three!

Ne, thanks Roku-san for the Chichiri dancing thing. ; (I'm getting better, see?)

(2-23-04) Hee-hee. I'm evil. And I know it. Isn't that a good way to leave off a chapter? Ah, I love messing with my seishi. It's such a fun thing to do. (evil laughter)

Anyway, I'd like to apologize for the somewhat lateness of this chapter. I wasn't able to work on it at all last week, and spent the majority of today finishing up the latter half of it. And it certainly was a struggle – I didn't really have any inspiration for the last part of this chapter. So, I resolved to go and watch some more Fushigi Yugi and Cinderella. (I still haven't been able to hear "Boys and Girls Like You and Me". Right now, all I can remember is whatever scraped from my memories of that musical from freshman year). Right now, I can't really say when chapter four will be out. I'm going to try to have it finished within two weeks, if real life doesn't get a hold of me first.

The confrontation between the Matrix couple and Nashie may have been anti-climatic, but don't worry all you adventure seekers. This was just the tip of the iceberg. We still have two more acts to go (all of which will range from somewhat insane to completely and totally insane). Of course, Nashie will need to be on a super sugar high to complete those chapters.

The conversation between me, Sake, and Teki wasn't exactly real, but it probably would have been, as we're always trying to find ideas for our stories (such as the Tomb...ahem...). But I do plan on doing another musical after this one, and it will probably either be Flower Drum Song or Mulan, both of which have Sino-centric characters. (And yes, I really want to do _Pirates of the Caribbean_...I can just see Hotohori playing Johnny Depp's part...heeheehee)

So, what's in store for the next chapter? Who got switched with who? Why is the intermission lasting so long? What happens when you put some seishi in other people's bodies? And who the heck is that freakin' mysterious figure?

That's all on my part. I'm goin' to get something to eat. See y'all in the next chapter.

Until then, hasta luego.


	11. 4A: When Darkness Falls

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

Disclaimer: Nashie no own. Only thing Nashie own is Milky Way. Milky Way gets eaten. Now Nashie no own anything. Nashie sad.

Random Inside Joke of the Day: "CHEESEBURGER!"

Random Quote of the Day: "You must be crrrrazy!"

Note: The speaking format for this chapter is weird. I won't be doing the 'body/mind' or the 'mind/body'. I'm sticking with using just one name – the body. For example: ("Tamahome: This sucks!") – it looks as if Miaka's actually saying it, but in truth it's Tamahome. It's a little more hassle on you the readers, but don't worry. It's sort of like a contest. Whoever can match all the cast and crew's mind to whatever body their in CORRECTLY, you receive one hundred points which you can redeem at Wendy's for a free pickle burger.

-à-à-

CHAPTER 4:A – WHEN DARKNESS FALLS

The work lights behind the curtains give off an eerie glow to the palace backdrop. The butter yellow lights, placed at various intervals, make the set look deserted, dark, and straight out of a really cheesy 40s movie, where the gangsters with fedoras are waiting in a damp, cold alleyway. There is no sound on the set, and one may think that the musical closed early that night. The flowers still tilt their lovely crowed heads heavenwards, and the windows are polished to a proud shine. But the thrones sit empty, and the grand staircase is devoid of life.

After a few more of these sullen moments, a small figure emerges from the shadows. If the hypothetical observer is still around, they will automatically realize that the figure is a boy, perhaps in his early teens, though looking a bit younger. Wide green eyes stare around the empty set in a mixture of shock and horror, and he looks around two seconds away from just plopping down on the ground and fainting dead away. He crosses over to stage left, slips behind one of the flats, and emerges in the wings behind the curtains.

"Um...hello? Anyone? I thought I heard someone scream..."

As if to qualify this statement, a pissed off Miaka suddenly storms from the shadows, the gossamer train on her gown flowing after her, making her appear like some sort of temperamental goddess. Following her is a slightly bereaved Tasuki, whose look of confusion seems to appropriately fit the raging priestess' anger.

"I don't BELIEVE this! Who the hell did this? I'm going to strangle the freakin' life outta him!"

"A few more minutes, and he'll start going into Tasuki-esque rants, no da..."

For a moment, Chiriko looks up at the red-haired bandit in stunned awe. Then, finally, he manages to clear his throat. "Chichiri...?" Tasuki nods.

"Hai, no da." He holds up his hand. "And before you even ask, I don't know how to undo this spell, na no da." Tasuki...um, that is, Chichiri...looked down at Chiriko and gave him a small brief smile. "And you're not Chiriko, no da." Chiriko pouts.

"No. I'm not. I mean, whoever did this...why couldn't they have put me in a taller body? I'm already short as it is, now I'm even shorter! Argh!"

"You're either Sake-chan or MoonshadowJedi..."

"The latter." MoonshadowJedi shudders. "If Miaka doesn't kill this person first, then I will." Chichiri hestitates, and then sighs.

"That's not Miaka, no da…" At MoonshadowJedi's questioning look, Chichiri gives her a weak grin. "That's Tamahome."

MoonshadowJedi blinks at the preposterous switch, and finally decides that she just can't take it anymore. She sits down hard on the ground, brings her knees to her chest, and just shakes her head in defeat. Chichiri watches as Tamahome, in his girlfriend's body, paces back and forth on the set, his arms crossed over his recently acquired bosom, muttering obscenities beneath his breath. Chichiri sighs quietly, and sits down next to MoonshadowJedi, deciding just to wait until more angered seishi and crew arrive on the set, just as furious as Tamahome.

He doesn't have to wait long.

At that moment, the tall silhouette of the local healer steps from the shadows, a frown formed on his features. He stops at seeing the fuming Tamahome, and looks towards Chichiri and MoonshadowJedi, who wave at his appearance. He gives Tamahome one final confused look before joining the pair on the other side of the stage, kneeling down to rest next to them.

"Strange, isn't it?" He looks at Chichiri. "Will it be too much to presume that you're still Tasuki?"

"Unfortunately yes, no da. And this is MoonshadowJedi. If I were Tasuki, I think I'd be cursing up a storm. Which makes me wonder exactly which body our bandit got dumped into, no da."

"As long as it's not mine, I'll be very happy," MoonshadowJedi mutters, looks at Mitsukake. "And you're not Mits-san, are you?"

Mitsukake shakes his head. "No. I'm Bob. One minute I'm at the rigging station, the next I'm on the floor of the stage on stage right. A very peculiar experience, if you ask me." He cocks his head to the side. "Do you know what the source of the problem is, Chichiri?"

"No. I can't trace it, no da."

"Which totally sucks for us." MoonshadowJedi gestures towards Tamahome. "We need to find a way to calm Tama-chan down, or else he's going to go on a murder streak."

The trio nods in agreement, and prepare to rise to their feet when a long string of curses flow from stage right, leaving everyone on the stage bleeding from the ears. After another minute of the continuing incredulous cursing, MoonshadowJedi claps her hands over her ears to prevent them from being permanently damaged. Even Tamahome stops in the middle of his rant to stare over into the recesses of stage right, eyes wide and staring. Chichiri and Bob flinch as the tirade continues, before sharing looks.

"Tasuki?" Bob asks weakly.

"Those are words Tasuki would use, no da. But it sounds like...

Before he can finish, there is a sound of repeated crashes in the shadows of stage right, followed by various yelling, muffled cries of pain, and then more crashes. A few seconds later, three people tumble out from behind one of the flats – Bob, Nuriko, and Hotohori. Subaru and Yui emerge behind them, both of them looking stunned and perplexed at the reactions of their three friends.

Chichiri rises to his feet and darts over stage right, an uneasy feeling rising at the nape of his neck. He peers down at the pile of young people, and then looks up to meet the gaze of the unaffected girls. "What happened here, no da?"

"Chichiri?" Yui asks in surprise.

Hotohori managed to untangle himself from the small pile-up, rolling onto his back and staring up into the rigging above him, his hazel eyes dark in misery. Chichiri kneels down next him, just out of his visual range.

"This has got t'be the worst fuckin' openin' night ever..."

Subaru crosses her arms. "What's going on here? One of you must know. I have never known Hotohori-sama to use such derogatory language, and this is certainly not acceptable." She points to Chichiri. "Now, are you Tasuki...or Chichiri?"

Hotohori glares at Subaru. "What the fuck are you talkin' about...I'm Tasuki! Anybody else is just a fuckin' imposter..." He trails off as he looks up at Chichiri.

Chichiri waves. "Hi, Tasuki." Tasuki jumps to his feet, stunned.

"Holy shit! You're me!"

"No, you're you and I'm me, na no da. You're just you in Hotohori's body, no da." Chichiri offers a wan smile.

"Chichiri..." He glares. "What the hell are you doin' in my body? Get out." MoonshadowJedi shakes her, stunned and obviously disconcerted.

"Tasuki...can you stop cussing? It sounds weird coming from Hotohori-sama."

At this point, Nuriko climbs to his feet, wiping off the dust from his dress, and glares at the group while he helps Bob to his feet. The other Bob joins them and stares disconcertingly at his body that is currently occupied by someone else.

Nuriko crosses his arms. "Can we maintain some sort of decorum here, people? I mean, I know it's not everyday we go switching bodies, but I'm sure we can have some sense of dignity here."

Bob frowns at him. "Speak for yourself...you try keeping sane while someone in your body acts the way they do...it's not right..."

Chichiri puts up a hand to stop them from talking. "Wait. Wait." He points to Nuriko. "You are?"

"Teki." Chichiri looks towards Bob.

"And you?"

"Nuriko." Chichiri looks at the two young people, hesitates, and then shakes his head, looking absolutely floored.

"Oh, boy."

Tasuki scowls. "Whatdya mean, 'oh, boy'? We've got a fuckin' situation goin' on here, and all you can say is 'oh, boy!' This is a pain in the ass, Chichiri!" Some of the people gathered on the stage winced at hearing the cursing coming from the usually reserved Hotohori. Nuriko glares daggers at Tasuki.

"Enough with the imaginative cursing already, Tasuki. Subaru is right. It sounds really weird coming from Hotohori-sama." Tasuki mutters something unintelligible, and crosses his arms, but says nothing else. Chichiri gives him a slightly concerned look before scratching his head.

"I wonder how much the audience will appreciate yet another extended delay, no da…"

-à-à-

Neko-ane shifts nervously back and forth, biting her lower lip anxiously. She had just been running down the hallway with Chichiri and Nashie when they both had suddenly stopped and fainted dead away on the carpet. Her attempts to revive them had been futile for the past few minutes, and she wasn't sure whether or not to run out and get some help. The thought of the Matrix people coming to her aid scared her to no end, so she decided to wait just a few more minutes before taking action, hoping that she wasn't endangering their lives.

She crouches down next to Chichiri and decides to try once again to wake him up. She gently shakes his shoulder, hoping he won't immediately panic and go into SD-form before she can get a word in edgewise.

"Chichiri…Chichiri, wake up…please…" Chichiri groans quietly, and turns his back to the small redheaded girl.

"Fimominiss…"

Neko-ane blinks. "Huh?"

"Five more minutes…" Neko-ane hesitates at the request, wondering why Chichiri would ask for five more minutes to be unconscious.

"Um…Chichiri…?" At this, Nashie stirs on the ground, and slowly lifts her head, blinking in confusion at her surroundings. She sits up quickly, taking in her surroundings with a frown on her face.

"How did I get out here?" Neko-ane, now thoroughly confused, stares at the tall direction.

"Um…you dragged us out…?" Nashie looks over at Neko-ane, frowning as if trying to place where the girl was from. There's a moment of silence before Nashie cocks her head to the side.

"Who are you?"

At the inane question, Neko-ane begins to panic slightly and she rubs her suddenly moist palms against her jeans. She really hoped that the two didn't have some form of amnesia, which would only serve to completely make her feel terrible for not acting sooner.

"I'm Neko-ane…remember?" Nashie eyes suddenly go wide, and Neko-ane has a sinking feeling in her stomach that not everything is as it was only a few moments earlier. She is proven correctly when Nashie scoots away from her.

"Oh, my god…did you kidnap me and Chichiri? Is that what's going on? You made me and Tasuki fall asleep and then you kidnapped me?" She jumps to her feet. "Well, don't underestimate me just because I'm a girl! I saw the wrestling matches last night and I'm ready to do anything!" She demonstrates a few punches in Neko-ane's direction, but the girl just sits there, stunned. As Nashie continues to glare furiously in Neko-ane's direction, Chichiri groans and begins to wake up.

"Can't people ever be quiet when others are trying to sleep…? I mean, no courtesy at all towards other people's…feelings…" He trails off. Neko-ane turns to her love interest and catches sight of him looking at Nashie with a dumbfounded look on his face. He takes one glance at Neko-ane and then looks back at Nashie.

"Neko-ane?"

"Yes?"

"…why is there another me right there?" Neko-ane does a double take, considering the monk's words very slowly.

"Um…Nashie?"

"Yeah…?"

"Oh, crap." She sweatdrops. "You may not want to hear what I have to tell you."

"Why not…?"

"Because you're in Chichiri's body."

There's a long moment of silence as Nashie considers this. The moment stretches on and on, so long that the OTHER Nashie drops from her fighting stance and stares at the blue-haired director, also waiting for an answer. Neko-ane begins to have a sinking feeling in her stomach as Nashie quietly rises to her feet, removes the mask across her face, and blinks one eye. She looks over at her doppelganger.

"Miaka?"

"Hai?" Nashie blinks a few more times, and suddenly begins to laugh.

"Hahaha…of course this would happen! I mean, after all, everything else is getting screwed over tonight, why not have us all switch bodies as well? Hahahahahahaha!" She doubles over in hysterical laughter. Miaka blinks and approaches the two warily, still giving Neko-ane the evil eye.

"What? Chichiri…are you okay?" Neko-ane sighs, and rubs the back of her neck.

"Miaka, that's not Chichiri. That's Nashie. And you are currently in her body." Miaka hesitates at this and glances down at her hands, noticing the cinnamon-coloring of them, and realizes that her white ball gown had been replaced by black stage crew clothing. She looks back up at Neko-ane with a stunned look on her face.

"So…if I'm in Nashie's body…then who's in mine and where the heck is Chichiri?"

"Probably stuck in someone else's body! Oh, this is too good! Hehehehehe…" Nashie seems to find the situation _too_ amusing, and Neko-ane isn't the least bit amused by the near hysterical laughter coming from her eye candy. She grabs Nashie around the shoulders and shakes her.

"Nashie! This is no time to lose your head. Plus, it's super scary when it comes from Chichiri! You're the director – you have to fix this!" Nashie stops laughing, and scowls – but the scowl is more directed at herself than at Neko-ane. She nods and takes a deep breath, trying to collect her wits.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just that everything that could go wrong tonight is going wrong. And it's really starting to piss me off." She puts a hand on her forehead. "Okay, the first thing we have to do is get back to the stage and calm down the chaos happening back there. Hopefully no one had killed each other yet. And when I find out who's been playing tricks on us like this, there will be revenge!"

Neko-ane sweatdrops. "Let's not think about revenge in your state of mind right now."

"I wonder who got switched with who," wonders Miaka outloud with a shudder. "Some pairs I don't even want to THINK about."

The group of three head towards the stage entrance door, Neko-ane slightly hanging back to make sure that neither of the two young women makes a break for it. Miaka is walking awkwardly, trying to adjust to stronger muscles and longer bones while Nashie is trying to cope with only having one eye to see out of. They reach the door, and swing it open, immediately being greeted by darkness.

"This is the stage right entrance," Nashie explains to a baffled Neko-ane.

"It's so dark…how can you guys see where you're going?"

"The black lights help. We usually have practice before we have opening night. No one has broken anything yet. Besides there aren't any stairs and…"

She suddenly goes quiet and stops dead in her tracks. Miaka and Neko-ane collide with her back and stumble backwards. Miaka rubs the bridge of her nose, and gives Nashie a weird look. Nashie frowns and gestures for the two girls to follow her. They continue down the hallway until they stop at the dressing room door which is slightly ajar. Miaka is about to put her hand on it to open it when Nashie shakes her head. "It's too quiet. I don't think anyone's in there."

She turns and continues towards the wings of the stage, climbing up the small set of steps and emerging into the long open area behind the black tabs that separate the stage from the deserted wings. Even from their distance, they can hear the arguing on the stage. Neko-ane grimaces and casts a look at Nashie and Miaka who both share surprised expressions. They move the black curtain aside and step onto the stage.

The stage is currently occupied by the entire crew and the major cast, all them in various states of arguing. The few people who are simply watching the fighting are sitting on the grand staircase. Nashie blinks as one of the quiet ones, Sake, lifts her head slowly and catches her eye. Nashie waves, and walks further out onto the set, trailed by Miaka and Neko-ane. She sits down with the rest of the various cast and crew on the staircase and sighs.

"I suppose it would be too much to assume that you are Nashie?" asks Sake, giving Miaka a long, questioning look. Miaka gives the girl an embarrassed grin.

"Sorry. Can't say that I am. I'm Miaka." Sake's dark eyes widen in surprise.

"Miaka?" She turns to Nashie. "Then you must be…?"

"The Supreme Director," Nashie says with a bow and a slight wink. "Have you guys figured out who's been switched with who?"

"I suppose." A few bells go off in Nashie's head, and she hesitates.

"You're not Sake. You're talking way too…" She pauses, and suddenly realizes who she's talking to. "Hotohori?" The girl…no, the emperor…nods.

"Yes. I'm in Sake's body." Teki, who is trying to figure out how to sit comfortably, in Nuriko's dress, wipes a strand of violet hair from her eyes.

"And I'm Teki. Nashie, I hope you have some idea who to fix this. We can't continue if we're all stuck like this. I don't know about you, but I don't know any of Nuriko's lines. " Nashie nods in agreement, and looks out to where everyone else is arguing.

"Alright then. The first thing we can do is call this meeting to order! ORDER!" Her yell brings all the arguments to a standstill. Thanks to the fact that she's in Chichiri's body, she now is as imposing as she had hoped to be in her regular body. Nashie gives a brief wave, grinning, though her mind is quickly assessing the damage done. By some people's stances, she can tell already who was switched with who… "Alright, guys! We're doing a roll call! If you haven't guessed it, I'm Nashie, the Supreme Director. And no matter what body I'm in, you will all listen to me! Get it? Got it? Good. Let's start by calling off random names…" She hesitates. "Wait. I need a piece of paper and a pen."

She searches her pockets, only to realize that it's a costume, and sighs dramatically. At that moment, a certain red-haired monk approaches her, handing her a pen and a piece of paper that have magically appeared out of thin air. Nashie raises an eyebrow, already guessing who is currently stuck in Tasuki's body. "Thank you, Chichiri." Chichiri smiles.

"No problem, no da!"

Nashie looks out to the assembled cast and crew, and taps the pen against her nose. "Okay." She quickly scribbles everyone's names down and then turns back. "This is going to be like school. I say your name, you say 'present' or 'here.' I think we can manage that." She looks down at her list. "Tamahome!"

A disgruntled Tamahome mutters something under his breath, and then calls out, "Here." Miaka whirls around, only to see her own emerald green eyes peering back up at her. Never in a million years would she have thought the love of her life would get stuck in her body!

"My boyfriend is stuck in my body!" Nashie wrinkles her nose, and chews her bottom lip.

"You know how perverted that just sounded? And you're saying it in my voice. Knock it off, Miaka." Tamahome is also having the same reaction, especially considering the fact that his girlfriend is now in a body taller than his.

"Holy-"

Nashie scowls at him. "Don't finish that thought. Back to the roll call. Hotohori, I already know you're in Sake-chan's body…and…Nuriko?" Nuriko looks up from where he sprawled on the floor, glaring up at the work lights high above in the rigging.

"Hai?" Nashie quickly scribbles something down and then continues down the list.

"Nuriko's in Bob's body…okay…Chichiri, I already know where you are. Gen-chan?" Out in the middle of the stage, Tasuki mutters something incorrigible. Nashie glares when all she can hear is a half-decent mumble. "Gen-chan?"

"I'm right here." Nuriko rolls his eyes.

"Your first statement without an expletive in it. You're improving."

"Shut the hell up."

Nashie bites her bottom lip and tries to ignore Hotohori's wince behind her. "Oookay, that sounded just plain wrong coming from Hotohori-sama. But…" She shakes her head. "Anyway, do we have Mitsukake in here anywhere?" A tap on the shoulder sends the blue-haired director spinning and she gazes into the gray eyes of a certain celestial warrior… "Mits-san…you got stuck in Tama-chan's body?"

"It would appear to be that way." Nashie scratches her head with the pen, and then just shrugs it off.

"Alrighty then…we're just going to keep going. Chiriko?"

"Present. And I'm currently discovering that C-Guy perhaps has pockets to other dimensions in this coat of his." He takes off C-Guy's windbreaker and begins searching through it.

"Um…well, I know whose body I'm in, and I know where Teki is. Sake-chan?"

Sake waves, though because of her change in height, Nashie can really own see a hand waving from the midst of the cast and crew on stage. "I'm in Miku's body! And I'm never gonna shut up 'cause now we can finally hear what she sounds like! Isn't that karma? Totally cool!" Nashie gives her a look – at least, she sends a look in Sake's general direction.

"Oi vay. MJ? Where are you, hon?"

MoonshadowJedi lifts her head, and gives Nashie a tired look. "Right here. And wondering why I didn't get to be in a taller body."

"Hey, this should inspire you to revenge. Keep thinking that thought, and we'll be out of this predicament-a-roonie any moment." She pauses at the stares she gets and catches a blushing Chichiri's eyes. "Ah, right. Chichiri wouldn't say a predicament-a-rooonie. My bad. Bob?"

"Present."

"C-Guy?"

"Aqui!" Nashie grins.

"Nice to here Teki-chan finally speaking Spanish. Finally. Miku?" Silence. "Miku? More silence.

Nuriko nudges Miku. "I don't think she's going to say anything. Which is really weird because usually you can't get MoonshadowJedi to hush up."

"Hey!"

"Hey, now!" Nashie interrupts before a good-natured bicker can start. "No fighting. Alright, let me get this straight." She glances down at the list. "Miaka's in me, I'm in Chichiri, who's in Tasuki, who's in Hotohori, who's in Sake-chan, who's in Miku, who's in MJ, who's in Chiriko, who's in C-Guy, who's in Teki-chan, who's in Nuriko, who's in Bob, who's in Mitsukake, who's in Tamahome, who's in Miaka." The direction lifts her head as her brow furrows slightly. "Damn. Sounds like a circular orgy."

There's a long dramatic pause.

"That's not good, is it?" asks Neko-ane. Teki shakes her head.

"No. I really don't think so."

"Do you just want to cancel the rest of the show, Nashie?" Subaru questions, coming down from the stairs to give Nashie a pointed, worried look. Nashie's eyes flare at the thought.

"No!" She strikes a dramatic pose. "The show must go on!" MoonshadowJedi smirks and begins to sing a song by that very title.

**_'On and on, does anyone know what we are living for?_**

****

**_Whatever happened, we leave it all to chance_**

****

**_Another heartache, another failed romance_**

****

**_On and on, does anybody know what we are living for?'_**

Nashie suddenly grins at the recognizable song, and she jumps down next to her friend to perform the duet, ignoring all the weird looks shot their way.

**_"The show must go on!_**

****

**_The show must go on!_**

****

**_Outside the dawn is breaking on the stage_**

****

**_That holds our final destiny!"_**

There's a beat, interrupted by an embarrassed cough from Miaka. Chichiri and Chiriko are both blushing something terrible at having seen themselves sing the _Moulin Rouge_ song. Nashie gives an apologetic grin, scratching her neck. "Sorry. It was irresistible."

"That was disturbing in more ways than one," mutters Tamahome, turning his head away.

Tasuki frowns, trying to get back to the subject. "Not to burst your bubble, Nashie, but that'll be kinda difficult if we don't know each other's fuckin' parts." Nashie scowls, and looks very tempted to hit Tasuki in the back of the head.

"You burst it. You really burst it."

"There must be a way to fix this, no da." Nashie throws her arms out, and gives the assembled cast and crew a pleading, exasperated look.

"I'm open to ANY suggestions."

Yui looks thoughtful. "How strong is the spell anyway?"

"Strong enough, no da," responds Chichiri. "I can't break it."

"Does it only work when the user is conscious?"

Tasuki scoffs. "How would that help…oh…" He pauses and gives Nashie a thoughtful look. "Do y'think that'd work?"

Nashie is about to respond when the loud, heavy footsteps interrupt the conversation. All eyes swing to the stage left wings where a tall, muscular youth steps from the shadows on the stage. His lips are turned downwards in a permanent frown, while one eyebrow is cocked sardonically. His swagger is complete with swinging arms, and a head held high in the air. He gives a bright, quick grin, before going right back to his normal placid expression.

Nashie pales. "You've _got_ to be kidding me."

It's Big Brother.

-à-à-

Up in the balcony, the current Kenshin party is wondering why in the world the intermission is starting to extend its fifteen-minute limit. Sano has taken to chewing a random straw in his mouth (though none of his other party members have any idea where the straw came from), while Yahiko throws down tiny wads of paper onto the heads of unsuspecting theatre goers before ducking behind the safety of the balcony banister. Kaoru gives the young man the evil eye, as Kenshin laughs nervously, trying in vain to stop the impending fight looming over the horizon.

Megumi, trying to divert Kenshin's attention, links her arm through his. "Do you suppose they had another accident as they did earlier in the evening?"

Kenshin blushes slightly. "I'm not sure, de gozaru. I honestly hope not. Nashie put much effort into making opening night a success, de gozaru ka."

"I think the Director just has some issues to work out," Sano mutters, stuffing his hands in his pocket. "It's not like it's a good musical or anything." Kenshin shakes his head, giving Sano a gentle, reprimanding look.

"You shouldn't say that, Sano. This production is very well planned out, and it's being executed quite nicely, de gozaru ka."

Kaoru suddenly grabs the shredded playbill out of Yahiko's hand. "Would you stop doing that already? People paid good money to see this show, and you're ruining it for them." Yahiko sticks out his tongue.

"Why do you think I'm going to listen to an old hag like you?" Kaoru's eyes flash dangerously.

"WHY YOU…!"

Kenshin jumps in between the two youngest members of the party. "Now, now, now. You shouldn't be so quick to get angry, Kaoru-san! And Yahiko, these people did pay money to see this musical, de gozaru ka. You must respect that."

Yahiko sits in his seat, crossing his arms. "But this intermission is so long." Kenshin frowns, and the nods in agreement.

"Yes. It is." He pauses. "I'm going to go see if they need any help backstage."

Sano jumps to his feet. "You're too scrawny. If they needed any help, then they're going to need me."

"I'm going too!" Yahiko volunteers, causing Kenshin to smile.

"That won't be necessary, de gozaru ka. It may turn out they don't need any help at all. You should stay up here with Megumi-san and Kaoru-san, and enjoy the musical if it comes back onto stage before we return."

"Don't be long!" Megumi gives them a small wave as they make their way out of the balcony. Yahiko watches them leave in disappointment before returning to his shredded playbill and starting to toss paper over the side again. Kaoru immediately notices it, and grabs her own playbill, thwacking him upside the head with it.

"OW! What was that for?"

"For behaving indecently in a theatre. Hmph!"

-à-à-

Backstage, Nashie nervously watches her brother approach Miaka. She wants to step up and talk to him herself, but she knows that Big Brother doesn't even know Chichiri. She lets out a hesitant breath, but manages to sidle up next to Miaka anyway, as if she were only pretending to be a curious observer. "So…Nashie, this is your brother?"

"Eh…?"

"Just wanted to say hi," Big Brother says with a grin. "We came."

Nashie raises an eyebrow. "We? Wait. Don't tell me you brought K-Rod and Al." Big Brother gives Nashie an odd look, and she curses mentally, realizing that Chichiri would not know who the latter two were. She scratches behind her head and puts on a very vapid smile, hoping that the taller youth wouldn't take her seriously. "Your sister talks about them a lot."

"What does she say?"

"That they're all dorks."

"Why do you always talk about my friends that way?" Big Brother asks, glaring at Miaka, who is now looking downright confused. "Maybe you should get some of your own."

"Hey, you shouldn't insult people like that!" snaps Miaka, pointing a finger in his face. "It's rude!"

"Face."

Nashie scowls. "Maybe you should leave. We have a performance to get back to, you know?"

Big Brother shrugs. "Whatever." He looks at Nashie. "Who are you anyway?"

"You idiot! I'm your…ah, shoot! I'm Chichiri." She squirms, trying to ignore the daggers the real Chichiri is shooting at her. "My bad." Big Brother looks aptly confused at the sudden switch in reactions, and just shrugs. He turns around, his brief interlude done, and walks off the stage, his heavy, solid footsteps echoing after him. As soon as the cast and crew hear the door leading to the hallway shut, these is a loud sigh of relief. Miaka nearly collapses to the ground, as Nashie doubles over, hands on her knees, shaking her head in stunned disbelief. "THAT was too close."

Tasuki frowns thoughtfully. "So that's Big Brother…y'know, you and he coulda been twins."

"Shut. Up. Tasuki." Nashie turns to Chichiri." C'mon. We have a show to save. If it can be saved. What kind of spell will knock everyone in the audience out?"

Chichiri gives her a thoughtful shrug. "Whoever's casting this type of magic is very powerful, no da. I'm not sure my magic would be able to counter theirs, na no da." Nashie looks none too pleased to hear from her favourite red-haired magician that he possibly could not save the day. She frowns, rubbing the bridge of her nose in frustration, shifting from one foot to the next. The other members of the cast and crew give her their undivided attention, waiting for the Supreme Director to rule what would be the best course of action for the group to take.

Finally, Nashie sighs, rubbing the back of her head and giving the group a very Chichiri-esque grin. "Alright, then! Chichiri, I'm gonna ask you to do your best on this – we need a sleeping spell. A quick one and fast. I'm really sorry if I hurt anybody out in the audience, but this must be done. Track down the source of the magical energy. Tamahome…since you're in Miaka's body, I'm going to have to ask you to stay here. Tasuki, Chichiri…you're both with me. MoonshadowJedi and Teki – make sure that no one enters into the backstage area unless they say the password. Everyone knows what the password is, right?"

"Yeah…" comes the unanimous sullen reply.

"Great! Okay, then. Miku, Bob, and Mitsukake, stay up in the light loft. If I give the signal, turn off all the power on the stage. No lights, no nothing. Everyone else should be in the make-up room. Sake-chan, you know where the flashlights are. Dump the box of them in there with everyone. All crew members, if you don't have a headset, get one now." She laughs evilly. "We're about to go on an adventure Indiana Jones himself would chicken out of!"

"Don't say that," Sake criticizes. "Indiana Jones is really cool."

"Yeah, well…" She trails off, a look of confusion appearing on her face. Her head swivels to the wings of stage right as two figures emerge from the shadows. Almost everyone goes into defensive stances, as the two walk out into the dimly lit stage. Nashie blinks at seeing the two familiar faces, before breaking out into a wide smile. "Hi, guys! Enjoying the musical?"

"Hai, de gozaru ka. But we were worried, since intermission is almost five minutes longer than it's supposed to last. We were wondering if you need any help backstage, de gozaru ka."

"Well…we're kind of having…out-of-body experiences back here. You know, typical us. Anything that can go wrong is going wrong." She sighs. "By the way, in case you didn't know, I'm not Chichiri. I'm Nashie. Chichiri's stuck in Tasuki's body." Kenshin gives her a dumbfounded look while Sano crosses his arms and gives the smaller man a long look.

"See? I told you they had everything under control." He scuffs his foot against the stage.

"Nice to know you're concerned," Tasuki grumbles.

"Oro…still…is there anything we can do?"

Nashie hesitates for a moment. "You know…there just might be a little something that'll help out. Besides, we need to get this show on the road as soon as possible. Cinderella will be finished before midnight! We will complete this no matter what it takes! Or my name isn't Nashie! And it is!"

For a moment, the rest of cast and crew almost see the American flag waving Nashie, which is extremely absurd because they can almost hear "The Star-Spangled Banner" playing too. Those who can understand the meanings shake their heads in confusion, while the others give each other shrugging looks. But the moment is quickly shaken, and Miaka hands Nashie her rightful headset. Nashie places it over her head, and then grabs Tasuki, Chichiri, Kenshin, and Sano and makes a break for the stage right exit.

"Neko-ane, you're involved in this now too! No more audience for you! Consider it a reward for helping us out! Backstage access!" She grins and then disappears.

"Cool…" Neko-ane manages to say.

Teki frowns. "Alright…you guys heard Nashie. MoonshadowJedi, you watch over stage right, I'll watch over stage left. Miku, Bob, and Mitsukake – head up to the light loft. Sake-chan, I want you to join them after you put the flashlights in the make-up room. Everyone else, in the make-up room."

"There's something extremely odd about getting orders from Nuriko," notes Tamahome, earning him a glare from Nuriko.

"Care to repeat that, Tama-chan?"

Teki sighs. "Not here, people. Please. Whatever they're planning, I don't want to see the mess resulting from it. Now come on. Lets get out of here." Teki quickly ushers everyone off the stage and towards the make-up room, ignoring the complaints she gets from most of the seishi. When things need to get done, no one, not even Nashie, can compare to Teki-chan in making sure they do indeed get done.

- - -


	12. 4B: Walk a Mile in Another Man's Shoes

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 4:B – WALK A MILE IN ANOTHER MAN'S SHOES

In the front row of the theatre, DJFiregirl makes an entrance as she scrambles over people's laps to return dead center between her friends. She has the happiest grin on her face, and looks as if she's swinging on cloud nine. Silverscape and MidnightSun278 share similar looks before turning back to the bouncy redhead, who has begun to randomly whistle the theme song to Super Mario.

"So…did you find a bishonen?" Silverscape asks.

"Boy! Did I ever!"

"And…?"

"And I gave him one of my trademark glomps, of course!"

"Of course."

Dreamlessdays chews a honey bun, but says nothing.

"Blue-haired monks are very desirable, I just want you guys to know that."

"Monks?"

Silverscape eyes light in recognition of the description. "Oh! Chichiri, you mean!" DJFiregirl's only response is that of swirly eyes. Silverscape waves a hand in front of the redhead's face. "Oh, boy. I think we've lost her." She waves her hand again. "Yup. We've lost her. She's often in Wonderland. It's amazing what one person's name can do to a person."

MidnightSun278 gives a brief shrug. "The magic in words…"

Dreamlessdays chews his honey bun, lost in thought. For a moment, he feels the strangest tingle in the air coming directly behind him, but when he turns around, there is no one there but a group of giggling fangirls. His hazel eyes narrow in suspicious as he scans over the crowd, looking for the source of the chill. When he fails to come across it, he swallows the mouthful of honey bun and turns back to face the stage.

- - -

Somewhere else in the audience, two of the theatergoers are not as highly amused by the extended intermission. The young man in the group stands up, peering around the nearly crowed theatre, and then moves towards the aisle, a dark look in his eyes. He's followed by the girl, who suspiciously looks to where Dreamlessdays is sitting.

"The web becomes more tangled…"

- - -

Backstage, most of the cast and crew have dispersed to where Nashie and Teki told them to go. Well, most anyway. Two couples have decided to listen right away and have gone off in their own little corners to discuss the current situation of things. Miaka and Tamahome have climbed up to the top of the grand staircase and are currently sprawled out at the landing, glancing down at the dimly-lit stage below. Tamahome is trying to sit comfortably on yards and yards of white gossamer fabric while Miaka has taken off Nashie's ski-knit cap and is running her hand through dark locks.

"So…another spell…" Tamahome says quietly. Miaka nods.

"Yeah…seems like it…"

"I bet Nashie and the others will be able to cancel it…"

"Yeah…hope so…"

The two fade off into silence, a silence so deafening that even the crickets decide that it would be best if they weren't to participate in this particular quiet. Miaka bites her lower lip nervously, consequently tasting Nashie's Raspberry Snapple lip-gloss. She brings her knees to her chest and stares at the love of her life, who is currently occupying her body. "Tamahome…what if she can't fix it…what if I'm stuck in her body and you're stuck in mine forever…?"

"I don't think the Supreme Director would allow something like that to happen."

Miaka wrinkles her nose. "But what if…?"

"You think because you're in another body I'll stop loving you, Miaka?"

Miaka buries her head in her arms, muffling her answer. Tamahome scoots closer and wraps his arm around his bereaved soulmate, pulling her close into a hug. He tries not to notice the sudden change in sizes between them, but still manages to place his head against Miaka's.

"If you said yes, you're wrong. I'm in love with _you_, Miaka. Never forget that."

"But it's scary to think about…and we're not the only ones…we'd all have to start over again…what would we tell our family and friends? 'Oh, we just happened to switch bodies with one another so now we can't ever be the person you want us to…?'"

Tamahome gives her a reassuring smile. "Never put anything beneath Nashie. She'll get it done. Just watch."

"I trust her. I just don't trust whoever is doing this."

Tamahome gives her another grin, but doesn't voice his opinion to her. _Me neither, Miaka. Me neither. _

At that moment, an annoyed Teki storms onto the stage, looking around for the four missing seishi and miko. She isn't able to spot two of them, but her eyes do land on Miaka and Tamahome up on the balcony. She crosses to the center of the stage and ascends two steps, her arms crossed and an eyebrow cynically raised. "Excuse me. But I thought we said that everyone else is supposed to be in the make-up room."

"Gomen ne, Teki-chan," Miaka apologizes, trying not to blush.

"_Now_, you two."

"We were just talking about this situation, Teki. No need to get so mad over it." Tamahome offers Miaka a hand up, which she gratefully accepts, and the two descend the staircase. Teki rolls her eyes, trying to look stern, but feels sympathy for the two. While she quickly adjusted to coping with being in Nuriko's body, she knew that a few people, most likely the couples of the cast, would not so easily adjust to suddenly and randomly thrown into another person's body.

_Which leaves me with just two more people to go and find…_

She shoos Miaka and Tamahome towards the make-up room before looking around the stage for the last two cast members. She shakes her head slightly when she fails to see them and strolls over to stage left, hoping that perhaps, with Nashie gone, neither one of them had a nervous breakdown.

- - -

Just a few dozen feet away from where Teki searches for the last two cast members, Nuriko and Hotohori have a conversation of their own, not entirely unlike the one Miaka and Tamahome found themselves having just seconds earlier. They wait behind the back black curtain, which is always down, and only leaves less than three feet of space between it and the backstage wall. The two seishi lean their backs against one another, readily accepting the other's presence.

"Never thought that I'd have to be the guy in the relationship…" grumbles Nuriko.

"Or that you'd be taller than me."

"This really sucks. I can't believe Teki's in my body and Tasuki's in yours." He rests his chin on his knees. "I wonder what this person has against Nashie that he or she is willing to completely wreck our play."

"Nashie has more friends than enemies, but I am unsure of the reason as well." Hotohori closes his eyes. "Knowing Nashie, it is probably due to the fact that she stole a doughnut from said person."

"Yeah…"

There is a moment of contemplative silence, and then…

"Do you think Nashie will be able to reverse what happened…?"

"I wouldn't put it past her. Are you worried?"

"There's the understatement of the year. If so, I'm only a little bit concerned over the state of things." The third seishi shakes his head, muttering under his breath. Hotohori reaches for Nuriko's hand.

"It will turn out for the best."

"If not, then I can always tease Tama-chan for being in Miaka's body."

Hotohori chuckles. "That too."

After a moment, Nuriko turns his head slightly. "What about you?"

Hotohori is silent for a moment, as if weighing his answer in his mind. Finally, the eighteen-year-old laughs quietly and shakes his head. "I'm worried if I'll ever be as beautiful as I was." Nuriko groans.

"Hotohori-sama…"

- - -

Out in the hallway, a group of what appears to be five young men walk hurriedly towards an unnamed destination. The tallest one in the group looks as if he would like to be anywhere but there, perhaps at a club somewhere. The fire-haired one of the group gazes at the ceiling in contemplation, his face a complete enigmatic mask, as if he's concentrating on something at a far higher level than his four companions can comprehend. The smallest of the group, a slim red-haired young man, glances around the hallways for any person who would seem out of place, but the hallway is completely deserted.

"Okay, this is my plan," Nashie says with forced enthusiasm. "Chichiri, as soon as we enter into the auditorium, I want you to cast the sleeping spell onto everyone. And I mean everyone. I have a feeling it won't affect the person we're looking for. "

"So that will single that person out, no da."

Nashie nods. "Then we'll at least know who we're up against. That sounds about right. Kenshin, I'm going to need you to physically attack whoever it is if my talking doesn't work while Chichiri manages to create a magical barrier around him or her. Tasuki, help him out. If things get too bad, get your butt outta here and get backstage to warn everyone else. Sano…I want you to keep my brother and his friends put if all hell breaks loose. They're all idiots, and are bound to do something stupid."

"That's it?" Tasuki gives Nashie an incredulous look. "We're goin' to try and knock the person out? Damn, Nashie, your ideas suck."

"I can't think of anything else on such short notice. So shut it." She walks into the lobby, finding it deserted except for a few lingering fangirls. A few grin in delight at the sight of five bishonen, and Nashie shifts uncomfortably under the star struck stares. The girls were unaware that three of the bodies they were seeing were currently uninhabited by their owners. She ducked her head and opened the doors to the auditorium. The quiet murmurs of the crowd arose to greet them, and the soft golden glow of the far overhead lights cast a gentle, soporific effect onto the room. Nashie looked around and then turned her gaze to Chichiri. "Now."

Chichiri closed his eyes, and quietly murmured a prayer beneath his breath. Nashie could feel the tingling in the air, the sudden magic filling the room. It felt warmer, and then abruptly became cold as Chichiri hurried the spell along. The murmurs which had begun to die out abruptly halted until the room itself was completely silent, except for the breathing of the hundreds within the room. Tasuki shivers.

"That's some fuckin' creepy shit. You coulda made it a little more natural, Chichiri!"

"It had to be done quickly or else, no da…" He trails off, eyes suddenly fixed on the one figure stirring in the crowd. The slender dark-cloaked figure rises from her chair and slowly turns to fix the group with a shadowed glare. Nashie shivers at the darkness penetrating from the figure, but she has a feeling that the worse is yet to come. She takes a hesitant step forward. Tasuki also takes a protective step nearer to her. Nashie hides a smile.

"So you're the one who's been causing all these problems."

The figure smiles. "And what if I am?"

"Why? What's your grudge against me, huh? I don't think I've done anything to you." The figure simply stares at Nashie, but makes no move to reply. Nashie grits her teeth. "Then…why?"

The woman smiles and steps out into the aisle and begins to talk towards the group. It almost seems like she's floating. Nashie flinches slightly, yet holds her ground as she hears Kenshin unsheathing his sword behind her. Sano grunts at the obvious threat, and rams his fist into his open hand, wearing an amused grin. Chichiri glares at the mystery woman, quickly throwing up a barrier around the group.

"You ask me why and expect an answer. You should know – or at least ask the one person you least expect to have dealings with me. One who knows nothing can understand nothing."

Nashie frowns. _Huh? Why the heck is she ripping of lines from_ Kingdom Hearts?

"You know, I never really considered making your little musical out to be a complete disaster. But once you've meddled in the affairs of the gods, then you're really starting to push it." She suddenly sends her hand waving towards them, a five green colored globes fly from her fingertips, tiny at first but growing larger by the second. They smash violently in a flash of silver lightning and red fire from the barrier Chichiri had cast around them. Nashie closes her eyes at the onslaught of dangerous magical power and light, and throws up her arm to shield her eyes.

"This is only intermission, Supreme Director. You still have half of the play to attend to. Your cast and crew awaits you in the wings." She smiles. "I highly suggest you cancel this play and let your cast go. Because if you don't, there will be consequences to pay. Which will you choose, Supreme Director?"

"Tell me! Who are you?"

"And ruin the surprise?" She turns her gaze slightly so that now she's glancing at Chichiri. "And we wouldn't want that, would we?"

"I'm warning you…I had nothing against you before today, but you're ruining my work. I ask you one more time – tell me who you are."

"No."

Kenshin takes a step forward. "Nashie-san has done her best to make sure everything had gone on right tonight, de gozaru ka. How do you justify your actions against her? You can't so you hide behind your mask. Can't you answer a simple question concerning your identity?" The figure seems to hesitate at seeing Kenshin, but she still doesn't seem to want to back down. Instead, she throws her head back, and the group can see the superior smile appear on her still shadowed features.

"I consider myself to be a fair and honest person, so I'll make a deal with you, Supreme Director. I can continue my tricks and spells on your musical…or I will tell that couple from earlier that you do indeed know the origins of the Text. And I believe their dealing with you will be far harsher than mine." Nashie gulps. The woman smirks. "Well?"

Chichiri shoots Nashie a look, remembering her earlier denial of knowing nothing about the origins of the Text, and her subsequent revealing that she did. The monk frowned, wondering about the contents of the letter the couple had earlier shown to Nashie. _Is it honestly that bad, no da?_

Tasuki, on the other hand, was in no mood to make deals. He scowled at the figure, his right hand itching to find the tessen and throttle the mysterious mage with it. Sano also looks a bit bored at the conversation, and looks ready to begin a real decent fight. Nashie gives them both a quelling look before putting her hands up in defeat.

"I'm sorry guys. But I can't let them find out that I know about that letter." She lowers her eyes. "It's embarrassing, but we're going to have to let her continue."

"Don't you know what she could do to us?" demands an irate Tasuki. "First, it was Miaka's song that turned us into fuckin' delusions of a drugged elephant, and then switchin' bodies with one another! I don't wanna see what other shit she has up her goddamn sleeve!"

"Believe me, if those two got a hold of that letter, being stuck in Hotohori's body would be the LEAST of your concerns." The direction turns back to the figure. "You have a deal, though I don't see how my cast benefits from this."

"I really don't want any harm to come to the cast. It's because of _you_ I'm doing this." Nashie winces, but still glares angrily at the cloaked woman. "I'm feeling generous tonight, Supreme Director. Learn from this."

"If this is what you call generous, we're screwed if she gets pissed off," mutters Tasuki, and the woman sends him a dark, quelling look.

"This spell will last for five more minutes. Then, it's over and done with. But other little diversions might distract you while you continue the musical." She laughs. "It does have a certain…chivalry to it, doesn't it?"

Nashei grinds her teeth. "And after the musical…?"

"Robin shall make amends."

"How fitting," the direction grumbles. She approaches the figure and holds out her hand, seething. "It's a deal, then. You are free to cast whatever spells you like during the rest of the musical if you don't tell the couple about that letter and you swear to meet me as soon as bows are over. I want to know why you have a grudge against me."

"A fair deal. Though I must say, I'm getting the better half of the bargain."

"Are you sure you should be trusting her, Nashie?" Kenshin asks.

Nashie pauses and then sighs. "I'm a crappy director – I have no choice."

"We're done for," grumbles Tasuki, crossing his arms.

Nashie gives the mystifying woman a long glare that would render a volcano into the poles of Pluto before turning on her heel and storming away. Sano looks a tad bit disappointed at the lack of the fight, but stalks after Nashie anyway. Tasuki also turns, flipping the figure off as he disappears through the door. Chichiri, the last one left in the theatre, cocks his head to the side and gives the figure a long look before shaking his head and departing as well.

The woman watches them all go before settling into her seat once again. Her spell flickers slightly, and the form under the cloak shifts, but quickly changes back to that of a young woman. She folds her hands in her lap, and grumbles something about silly directiors.

"Maybe she'll learn now not to borrow without asking."

- - -


	13. 4C: TopsyTurvy

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

CHAPTER 4:C – TOPSY-TURVY

Backstage, all is relatively quiet in the make-up room. The various members of cast and crew are sprawled out over the seats, some napping, some playing cards, and others looking in the mirror and blinking, trying to figure out if such a nightmare would ever end. Teki has finally found Nuriko and Hotohori and literally dragged them into the make-up room to stay put. Subaru and Yui decide to ignore every single last one of the unfortunate switched persons, and concentrate on their scripts for the upcoming scenes.

Neko-ane plays a silent game of Mao with Sake, who is currently losing, and not looking at all too pleased with it. The redhead looks over her cards, frowns, and then places down a queen of hearts. "Alice in Wonderland. One card." Sake mutters something as Neko-ane reaches to the deck and hands Sake a card. "Card for talking." Sake grudgingly takes the card. Neko-ane reaches to the deck and hands Sake another card. "Card for not saying thank you."

"Thank you…"

Tamahome looks over at the duo. "That game seems impossible to win."

"It is…" Sake agrees. Neko-ane puts down her final card, a seven of hearts, and knocks on the table.

"Have a nice day. Mao. I win."

"ARGH!" Sake bangs her head down on the table. "No offense, Neko-ane, but I'm seriously dying of boredom here. There's nothing to do except wait until Nashie-chan and the others solve this impossible problem." Nuriko looks over at her thoughtfully.

"Y'know…if you do that often enough, you might knock a few of your brain cells loose. Can't have too many geniuses running around – no offense, Chiriko."

"None taken."

"There's nothing any of us _can_ really do," Neko-ane says with a slight frown, shuffling the cards. "You can't start the musical, you're not even allowed the leave this room. The only thing we should be able to do is play cards or talk or read your scripts."

"I'M SO BORED!"

"¿Estas contenta, Sake¿Necesitas ir al bano?" C-Guy grins at Sake, who shakes her head.

"No y no. Pero gracias." She continues banging her head. Neko-ane looks around the room for something that could cheer everyone up and bring them out of their dismal mood. Though she had expected everything to be cheerful and exciting backstage during the show, she had no idea how boring and long the waiting could take. Her eyes scanned the room, ignoring the various bags of food, magazines, and props lying carelessly amidst the chairs. Her gaze finally comes to rest on a small empty water bottle lying sitting near Hotohori.

_Now that would make an interesting game…if only the right people inhabited these bodies! And if Chichiri were back!_ She swoons at the thought.

But unfortunately for the Chichiri-stricken fangirl, the blue-haired monk is nowhere to be seen or heard. The quintet had been gone for around ten minutes, without even the slightest signal that something was happening. Nashie had given the order for all lights backstage to be turned off in case of an emergency, but unlike the others, Neko-ane wasn't used to seeing with just black lights. She cringes at the thought of what would happen if worse came to worse.

Suddenly, she jerks her head up from its sullen angle and looks around the room, half expecting to see a million Nyan-Nyans dancing around, singing "Hakuna Matata" (she quickly squashes the thought, wondering where in the world it came from). Almost everyone else she can see has had the same reactions, and she blinks uncertainly. "Is that good or-"

Miaka suddenly yelps and jumps to her feet, suddenly pumping a fist into the air and bursting out into relieved laughter. A laugh that sounds conspicuously like Nashie's…which is odd, considering that Miaka is currently stuck in Nashie's body.

"Alright! I'm me again! This makes up for everything!"

"Nashie?" Neko-ane ventures to ask, causing the direction to grin brightly.

"The one and only. I'm back being me!" Sake, who has switched from being across from Neko-ane to behind her also laughs in delight.

"Sake-chan is Sake-chan! How cool is that? Oh, yeah, BABY!" She gets up and starts the chicken dance. Bob also stands up and stretches.

"This feels a lot better!"

"Did it feel that weird?" asks Neko-ane, confused. Bob pauses and then nods.

"It was kind of like putting on a coat that was a few sizes off of yours…and not your favourite color either. It felt wrong, but there was nothing you could do about it."

"Personally," Miaka says with a cheerful smile. "I'm glad to be back too. I was worried there for awhile. It was taking you guys so long." Teki cocks her head to the side, and nods.

"Oh…I miss you speaking in Spanish, Teki-chan."

"How did it go?" the brunette asks with a grin. Nashie suddenly begins to shift uncomfortably, and her gaze shoots up to the ceiling.

"Um…it went."

"So, we shouldn't expect any more problems from our magical person?" Subaru rises to her feet, and smooths out the skirt of her dress.

"Hehehe…" The door of the make-up room suddenly flies open, and MoonshadowJedi, Nuriko, and Tamahome stand in the doorway, all three of them with jubilant smiles on their faces. MoonshadowJedi bounces into the room and gives Nashie a quick high-five for her actions while Tamahome sweeps Miaka into a hug as the brunette leading lady bursts into laughter. Nashie scratches behind her head, but feels a big sinking in her stomach. _This is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better…_ "We'll be able to have this musical up and rolling in five minutes or so. So, as I always say – PLACES EVERYONE!"

The members of the cast depart from the make-up room, leaving only Sake, Teki, C-Guy, Miku, MoonshadowJedi, Neko-ane, and Nashie left in the room. Once the cast had left, Nashie sinks down into the chair and all the energy literally deflates from her. Teki and Sake both share similar looks before pulling up chairs next to her, and sitting down in them. MoonshadowJedi scoots up onto a table and crosses his arms.

"So…what are you _not_ telling us?"

"Lots of stuff," Nashie grumbles, putting her head down on the table. "Mostly that I had to make a deal with our resident troublemaker."

"A deal?" Sake gives her a considering look. "Like you sold your soul to her, or something?"

Nashie grimaces. "At least I would have had a guarantee that the musical would have been left untouched. But, no. I'm in this to save my own hide from the couple of doom in the audience."

"The Text?" Neko-ane asks, her eyes widening. Nashie nods.

"What Text?" MoonshadowJedi frowns at the girl. Nashie sighs, and rubs the bridge of her nose warily.

"_The_ Text. The bane and blessing of my existence. The only thing somebody can blackmail me with. I had no idea that they knew that I knew about its creation." She slumps in seat. "I knew this would come back and haunt me."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Sake waves her hands in front of her face. "Wait a minute. Back up a second. What exactly is so bad about this Text?"

Nashie chews her bottom lip. "Can't say. I can't even tell you guys about it. It's that confidential. But I can say that if the couple knew of the origins of this text – that I know something about how it came to be – this entire theatre would be demolished in ten seconds flat." She pauses. "No, wait. I wouldn't even give it that long."

Teki lets out a low whistle. "That bad, huh?"

Nashie nods sullenly. "And the evil person knows it. She threatened to tell the couple about it if I stopped her from casting her spells on the cast and crew. I had to let her keep doing it. She says it's supposed to teach me a lesson – I think she only has a grudge against me, for some reason."

"Are you insane?" MoonshadowJedi demands. "Nashie! This is serious! She could end up doing something that puts us all out of jobs!"

"I know. I know." She throws hands up. "But I'm left with no choice. I tried looking for loopholes, and I haven't found any yet. I'm supposed to talk with her after the musical, but I don't know if she'll even keep her word." She sighs. "I don't know, you guys. I thought this would be fun, and entertaining, but instead, its turning to hell on Earth."

"Tell me about it." She rubs her temples. "Well, honestly, there's nothing we can do about it. She has the control in her hands." She checks her watch, and taps its face. "But hopefully, whatever tricks she decides to pull, we'll be out of here around ten o'clock or ten thirty. It's eight thirty-six right now." Nashie rolls her eyes heavenward.

"We might be here for a long, long time after this…"

- - -

In the front row of the audience, DJFiregirl is the first to regain her senses among her group. She glances to her left and right, only to find that Ashley, Dreamlessdays, Silverscape, and MidnightSun278 are sleeping. She wrinkles her nose, and crosses her arms, shifting impatiently in her seat. "I can't believe they went to sleep! How can they think this place is boring? And especially Dreamlessdays, when he's had enough sugar to choke a blue whale!"

"Quiet down, wouldja? Play's not started yet…" Ashley mumbles.

"Intermission is over!" She glances at her watch. "Actually, it's been over for around ten minutes. I wonder what's taking so long. Nashie is usually on time for everything." Silverscape lifts her head from where it was resting against the back of the seat, and rubs her sore neck. She glances around, hiding a yawn behind her hand.

"Did I sleep through it?"

"No. It's not over yet. Supposedly, it's still intermission. It should be starting soon however, unless they decided to just quit for the night." MidnightSun278 also begins to wake up.

"Hmmm…can't believe I fell asleep…it's only eight thirty…"

"We all fell asleep."

MidnightSun278 nudges Dreamlessdays, who shifts in his slumber before slowly waking up. He blinks at his four female companions, glances at the stage and then at his watch, and then shrugs. He pulls open his backpack and pulls out a honey bun, unwrapping it and beginning to eat it.

"Hungry? You've eaten like twenty of those tonight. Your teeth are going to fall out." Dreamlessdays: shrugs at Silverscape's accusation and continues to chew.

DJFiregirl waves a hand in front of his face. "Hello – starving fangirl in front of you! Hand over a honey bun, sweetie."

Dreamlessdays smirks, reaches into his backpack, and tosses her one. This only results in the other three girls expectantly holding their hands out for their treat. Dreamlessdays rolls his eyes before tossing each and every one of them one of the sweet pastries. Nothing like the delicious Krispy Kremes, but good none the less.

- - -

In the balcony on stage right, Big Brother and his friends are waking up as well, yet none of them are as reluctant to proclaim that the musical must be over.

"About time," Al grumbles. "Man, that girl down there was really good-looking though."

"Man…I thought you had Mish."

"Dude, she doesn't know what she wants to do. And all I was saying was that that girl, the Queen or whatever, was looking really hot in that dress…" K-Rod shakes his head, hiding a smirk behind his hand. Jeff rolls his eyes.

"I thought Cinderella was really cute," Orlando suggests, causing Al to look straight at him, deadpan.

"No. The Queen."

"But Cinderella had that dress on…now that was a tight dress."

"I saw both of them backstage." Both Orlando and Al go extremely quiet before turning to Big Brother with completely serious expressions on their usually animated faces.

"Were they really that good looking up close…?"

"Who looked better…the Queen or Cinderella?"

Big Brother wrinkles his nose. "I'm not telling you two."

"Ooh, you're bogus…"

"Why not?"

"You have Mish."

"Well, I don't have Mish. You gotta get their numbers from your sister. It's not every day you see such a pretty girl in Milwaukee."

Big Brother grins." Well, there's Ashley…"

"No. She goes with Ben."

"So?"

"Thou shalt not covet another man's wife."

"Boo!"

So begins yet another intellectual argument between the greatest species of animal life on the planet earth.

- - -

In the pit, the orchestra begins playing the music for the beginning of act two – a medley that is made up of "The Stepsisters' Lament," "Ten Minutes Ago," and "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?". The crowd, most having just awoken from their spell-induced naps, quiet down from their confused conversations, turning their attention back to the stage. The lights dim down once again to cast the theatre into shadows, all of the lights now focused on stage.

The red curtain, along with the black curtain, swings opens to reveal the newly decorated castle. All the decorations from the confrontation scene are complete, and the actors are already in their places. The orchestra pauses for a moment of dramatic effect as the lights brighten on the stage, illuminating the scene to the audience. The men wear tuxedos with a dark blue top, black pants, and white shirt, while the women are wearing green, pink, and blue pastels, some with gloves, some with bracelets, some with necklaces or tiaras. Everyone looks elegantly attractive, but none of them really stand out, save the horrendously dressed stepevils. The line of eagerly awaiting young woman is placed on stage left near the decorated wall, now complete with white roses and dangling vines. Then, as suddenly as they pause, the orchestra once again beings playing the strands of dance music as a cue.

Tamahome stands in the middle wearing an all white tuxedo, and posing with a pretty dark-haired singer. Once the music starts, he holds out his hand to her and begins the gavotte, stiffly and looking as if he's trying desperately to hide a yawn. Chichiri, Nuriko, and Hotohori, watching from their thrones on stage right, are also elegantly dressed. Chichiri has changed into a black tuxedo with a pale violet vest, and watches Tamahome with a look of concern on his face. Nuriko and Hotohori both match in elegant clothing in shades of blue, with white and gold accents.

"So many beautiful girls!" enthuses Nuriko. "He'll find the one he's looking for tonight. I'm sure of it!"

Hotohori raises an eyebrow. "And if he doesn't?" His "wife" scowls.

"This ball will never end." One of the men in the chorus comes up next to Chichiri and quietly murmurs something. Chichiri winces.

"I don't think we ordered enough food, no da." Nuriko glares at him.

"What?"

Chichiri shrugs, and crosses to the other side of the stage, patting Tamahome on the arm as he goes. As he is about to exit, Subaru pushes her way through the throng of girls and latches herself onto Chichiri's arm, a suddenly deceptive smile appearing on her face. A suppressed sigh of longing arises from fangirls and fanboys alike in the crowd – fangirls for wanting to be Subaru at that moment, and fanboys for wanting to be Chichiri.

"Pardon me, but I'm sure you must have noticed my two beautiful daughters!"

"Madame…" He looks over to where Yui and Nyan-Nyan are standing, and nearly cries out due to the onslaught of colors. He quickly turns away towards the audience so that they see his horrified look, causing the audience to laugh at his reaction. "Madame, the prince will dance with all the young ladies in due time, no da. Please, try to exercise some restraint."

Subaru frowns at the brush off, and then grabs at Chichiri before pulling him further upstage. She puts one arm on his shoulder and presses herself against him seductively. Nearly every Chichiri fangirl in the audience is green with envy. "Naturally, any mother would be eager to see their daughters dance with the prince. But what I want to know is…who's going to have the honour of dancing with you?" Chichiri makes a face.

"Excuse me?"

"There's no need to be coy! Look at you! That manly physique! Those handsome chiseled features…um…mask…" Shrieks of delights erupt from various fangirls in the audience.

Chichiri tries to get away from Subaru. "No touching please, no da."

"Surely there's no need to pretend. I know you felt that certain something between us."

Chichiri pauses. "You know, I honestly wish there was something between us…"

"Really…?" Subaru smiles and prepares for a kiss.

"Yes." Chichiri manages to untangle himself. "A continent, na no da."

Backstage on stage left, Nashie rests impatiently with Mitsukake who continues to give her worried glances. Tasuki, also with them, decides to say as little as possible, knowing that Nashie is currently not in her usual cheerful mood. He leans on the wall next to her, arms crossed and staring pensively at the floor. Neko-ane, sitting on the ground and watching the action out on stage, glances back at the trio, sighs, and turns her attention back to the scene. Miaka stands next to her, trying to ignore the heavy tension in the air in order to prepare for her big entrance.

"What a cheerful group," Neko-ane notes.

"I'm just waiting for all hell to break loose on the stage," Nashie mutters thorugh clenched teeth. "There's no stopping it."

Tasuki gives her a sympathetic look. "Well, it was either that or have the fuckin' theatre disappear in a puff of atomic smoke. You chose right, Nashie."

"Still, it wasn't one of my better moments." She rests head on Tasuki's shoulder. "I'm going to pay for this in the morning. Maybe I should just call it quits for the night. We don't _have_ to finish the musical." The assembled cast and crew give the director alarmed looks.

"Whatdya mean 'we don't hafta finish the musical'?" demands Tasuki. "We're finishin' it 'cause we started it!"

Miaka nods. "I agree with Tasuki."

Nashie lowers her head slightly, peering out onto the stage. "But I sense lots of trouble before this scene is even over…and I don't want to have anyone embarrassed…"

"Nashie, with all due respect," Mitsukake soothes, "I think everyone would rather finish the play and have the threat of certain parts taking longer than others, than to cancel it completely." He gives her a small smile. "After all, we've survived this far. I think we can survive a bit more. Remember, the show must go on."

"It's all a bet. If I win, I still lose, because my play will be a disaster." She sighs.

"Well, can't argue with that logic," Tasuki scorns darkly. Nashie pulls away from him, and gives her an annoyed look.

"Shut up."

"No way," the redhead seishi retorts angrily, spinning to face her. "Stop blamin' yourself for what's happenin'. You couldn't've helped this shit, and you know it, so stop wallowin' in fuckin' self-pity. Because it's really startin' to get old!" He grabs her by the shoulders and gives her a firm shake. "You may not know this, but Suzaku seishi don't give up. Hell…you should know that – that's why you wanted us to do this damn musical with you! There's no way in hell any of us are gonna give in to that bastard and let her beat us up. Now, c'mon, Nashie. Stop feelin' sorry for yourself and pull yourself together! We gotta get through this even if it kills us or we're here until midnight!"

Nashie smirks at him. "Why do you always know what to say, Gen-chan?"

"I dunno. Probably because whenever we rehearsed, the only channel that came in had Dr. Phil on it…" Nashie giggles. "What?"

"Something is really hilarious about you taking advice from Dr. Phil…" Neko-ane suggests, causing Nashie to burst out into laughter. Tasuki mutters something about girls being crazy.

Back out on stage, Tamahome has finished dancing with Yui and has started with Nyan-Nyan. He puts his hand on her waist and she suddenly bursts into hysterical, unladylike giggles. Tamahome looks confused. "Did I miss something?" Nyan-Nyan keeps on laughing. "Your laughter…is incessant…"

"But Your Highness is tres amusel!"

"I don't think anyone's every found me funny."

"Good one!" She begins snorting more than laughing. Chichiri, being observant, rushes in to pull Nyan-Nyan away. The aqua-haired young woman makes a grab for Tamahome but misses and is pulled away, half laughing, half snorting, and looking utterly confused. The audiences bursts into laughter as she manages to get away from Chichiri and launches herself at Tamahome again. Chichiri tackles her to the ground, grabs her ankles, and begins to drag her away.

"But we were getting along so well…!"

"Tell the orchestra to speed it up!" Tamahome frantically stage-whispers to Chichiri. Chichiri groans, and waves his hand as a cue to speed up the music. The gavotte suddenly becomes much faster and the girls fly through Tamahome's arms as he quickly dances through the line. Nuriko and Hotohori share looks at the obvious change of pace.

"I think it's going quite well…don't you?" Hotohori says with false cheerfulness. Nuriko hits him on the arm.

Backstage, Nashie adjusts her headset, straightening up from the wall. "Alright, you guys. We're about to have Cinderella's entrance. Teki, full spotlight on her and Tamahome, Sake, give the orchestra the cue to start playing Cinderella's overture…"

"Right-o, Cheerio!"

"Full speed ahead, Captain!"

Nashie grins at Miaka and gives her a thumbs-up. "Over to the back stairwell, sweetie." Miaka gives them all a grin before heading towards the stepladder the leads to the top of the grand staircase on stage. Nashie shivers in anticipation, but Tasuki throws an arm around her shoulder to bring her into a sideways hug. She blows a raspberry at him but doesn't shrug the arm away.

The gavotte is suddenly going at miraculous speeds. Some of the girls don't even have time to dance with Tamahome before they are shoved out of the way and replaced with another dancer. During the confusion, Tamahome grabs Chichiri's hand and pulls him into the gavotte instead of the girl. Nuriko groans and places his hand on his forehead while Hotohori watches the entire spectacle in amusement.

Suddenly, however, the music suddenly dies down, and the lights dim on stage as Miaka ascends to the landing of the grand staircase. The soft white spotlights are suddenly the only things lighting the stage, and the glows causes the shimmer of Miaka's dress to sparkle like stars. She smiles hesitantly down at the crowd and then at Tamahome, who is literally struck with awe by the beauty of the Suzaku no miko. His jaw slackens slightly, and he is completely fixated on her.

Miaka slowly begins to descend the staircase as a lone piano plays the few notes of her entrance music. She raises her dress slightly to make her descent easier, and all present can see the glass slippers she's wearing. Nashie was right in making sure that nobody saw the dress in full light before this moment – it made their reactions far more genuine than they would have been from seeing the dress earlier in rehearsals.

Miaka walks into the crowd as the men and women part from her to form a semi-circle around her and Tamahome. She walks up to him, gives a shy smile, and then lowers herself into a curtsy. "How do you do, Your Highness?" Tamahome lifts her chin and smiles at her, and holds his arms out to begin the waltz. The spotlights now stay on the both of them as they circle in the three-step around the semi-circle, making a dashing pair.

Backstage, Nashie gives her fellow crew members and friends high-fives. Neko-ane cheers quietly at seeing the romantic scene, and decides that perhaps being part of the backstage crew isn't so bad after all. For just a few moments, the dark mood has lightened as the music of the waltz begins to take over.

"Now _that_ is magic," Teki says over the headset.

"Hopefully, this'll be all the magic that we'll see for a while…" Nashie turns to Tasuki and grins. "Care to dance?"

- - -

Author's Note: (12-25-04) I highly suggest that those who have read the script-version of this chapter re-read this version of it. Changes have been made that will be crucial for the concluding chapters. Thanks once again, and I hope to see you all (soon) in Chapter 5! Only three more chapters left! (cheers)

(5-24-04) Hey, all. (is immediately clobbered by upset readers) I knooooow! I took three months to update this story. I'm really sorry, but Nashie's been busy with lots of other stuff, unfortunately (like seeing the last half of _Fushigi Yugi_ – I wonder if I had a dry eye through _any_ of the last episodes). Well, now that I'm done with this chapter (and a week earlier than when I intended), I can start working on chapter 5. Of course, maybe this time I'll write an outline of each chapter before I actually do it. ;

And another note. I'm sorry if Tasuki's language offends anyone out there. When I first uploaded this chapter on ffnet, the little stars wouldn't show up in any expletive words, so I had to write them all out so it wouldn't appear too confusing. Gomen nasai. Hopefully, it'll work when I upload chapter 5 and then I can upload the edited version of chapter 4.

So, what has Nashie been working on fanfiction-wise? Well, _Aeternum Vale_, for one. That's currently my baby, since I have all these ideas for it! Please review this story as much as you review Cinderella. Remember, its reviews that make me want to update. Speaking of which, all of you guys should thank otaku-no-miko, because she was the one who wrote the review that told me I haven't updated in soooo long! It's kind of like cracking a whip at me! Go, Nashie!

And a note to otaku-no-miko – I need a description of you so I can put you in my story. ; Thanks.

Again, probably another anticlimactic scene with the Figure. But as you might be able to tell, this is just the beginning of the showdown. _Cinderella_ takes a suddenly serious turn – our play could possibly be demolished! And what's all this with the Text? I know, lots of questions and little to no answers. Don't worry, I believe there are at least three more chapters of Cinderella to go, perhaps four. And then we're moving onto _Pirates of the Caribbean_. I cannot wait to start that one.

And a disclaimer – Nashie does not known "A Midsummer Night's Dream." The figure makes a reference to that when she quotes the last line of the play, saying "Robin shall make amends." This is my favourite Shakespeare play, second only to "Hamlet" and "The Taming of the Shrew". Everyone should read it (or rent the movie with Michelle Pfeiffer in it…)

Anything else? Oh, yes. I really would like your thoughts on what I should add to this story. I'm writing for both my amusement and yours. So if there's a certain scene you would like to see in here, please feel free to tell me! Though I'm trying to deviate too far from my original storyline, a little bit of sugar can spice up a fanfiction any day!

Now I'm off to begin chapter 5 of _Cinderella_ and continuing chapter 3 of _Aeternum Vale_, which promises to be a very dark twist of _Fushigi Yugi_.

So until chapter 5, I'll be seeing you! (winks)


	14. 5A: Out of the Frying Pan

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

Written by Nashie

-à-à-

Disclaimer: Yeah…I don't own _Fushigi Yugi_. Tough luck, huh? (sighs)

Random Inside Joke of the Day: "What, are you going to throw me out the window?"

Random Quote of the Day: "Duuuuuuude."

-à-à-

CHAPTER 5:A – OUT OF THE FRYING PAN

Despite the fact that the show was nearly cancelled just a few minutes earlier, the crew of Cinderella seems to either have forgotten about the brink of calamity lingering near them or have simply decided to ignore it, for reasons both of mentally sanity and the fact that sometimes being ignorant is the best policy. The wings of stage right and stage left are ominously quiet, void of all the roughhousing and stage whispered bantering that were signature earlier in the evening. Instead, the crew and some of the casts' eyes are paying rapt attention to the performance out on stage.

On stage, amidst the soft white glow of the spotlights and the cheerful waltz being played the orchestra, Miaka and Tamahome dance, completely caught up in one another's gaze. But just for the briefest of instances, Miaka glances around at the crowd and winces, faltering slightly in her step, slightly ruining the image of the goddess from heaven visage the dress and lighting had created for her.

"Everyone's staring at us." Tamahome smiles down at her.

"Really, I had forgotten anyone else was here."

Backstage, Nashie rubs the back of her head. "Now, please, don't go all zombie-like on me, and just sing the song…"

"Zombie-like?" Neko-ane gives the director a confused look. Nashie grins.

"Y'know…" She pretends to get sparkly-eyed. "'Miaka'…'Tamahome'…'Miaka'…'Tamahome'…argh, I hate it when they do that. You would think they would know each other's names by now. Besides, you're only supposed to call summon else's name like that when you're having…"

"Say it and die." Tasuki gives Nashie a long look, and the director simply simpers innocently. Neko-ane scratches behind her head at the absurd statement, and then shrugs, turning her attention, not back to the performing couple on stage, but on a certain blue-haired monk standing on stage right. Nashie catches her gaze and sighs, thanking the four gods in heaven that Chichiri was as far away from possible from raving fangirls. She really liked Neko-ane, but getting the small redhead near the magician spelled disaster.

Back on stage, Miaka and Tamahome have begun to sing "Ten Minutes Ago", and other couples have joined them in their waltz. Nashie sighs and rubs the back of her head, hoping that maybe, just _maybe_, the figure had decided just to take in the beauty of the moment and leave them be. But somehow, she doesn't quite belive that's what happened. The others had tried to console her, but Nashie still couldn't get rid of that sinking feeling in her stomach that something big was going to go down.

She hadn't meant to offend anyone, but seeing how the play might very well end in disaster…well, she wasn't so sure anymore. "So…are you guys ready for the-" Tasuki gives her a look, and smirks.

"This is the fourth time you've asked, Nashie, and the answer is still the same," he replies, sticking out his tongue. Nashie bashes him in the arm, causing him to wince. "It's not my fault you can't keep your head screwed on straight. You're the director – you're the supposed to be payin' attention and all that shit." Nashie tries to shake off the accusation, but she knows that Tasuki is right. She just can't seem to concentrate with the knowledge that something really bad might happen to her cast, and she would be powerless to stop it.

_And I didn't save us from two of the most annoying scene changes in the book!_ Nashie glances out as the dancers began to perform the waltz version of "Ten Minutes Ago". She is only slightly aware of the fact that MoonshadowJedi and Bob alert her that Miaka and Tamahome have both retreated to the stage right wings. She nods automatically as Chichiri enters the wings on stage left. He gives her a cheerful grin, and pats her on the back.

She smirks at him. "Ready for this scene change?" He nods, as the dancers finish their last dance moves. The orchestra crescendos and then ends the waltz, as the audience politely claps for the performace. The lights dim, and the black curtains quickly shut. As soon as the curtains are closed, the dancers quickly usher themselves off to the stage left make-up rooms. The removable flats fly up into the rigging overhead, and MoonshadowJedi and Mitsukake remove the thrones from the stage. As they are doing this, the grand staircase seems to magically shrink into the background.

"The lights are preset and ready!" Teki calls over the headset as Nashie watches the staircase morph into a white marble fountain. She rushes over to it, and quickly begins fussing with the pipes. A long gray pipe snakes back behind the furthest black curtain, invisible to the audience's eyes due to some strategically placed bushes and benches. She latches the pipe into a small opening at the back of the fountain.

"Chiriko, we're ready with the fountain." A few moments later, the fountain springs to life. Nashie lets out the breath she had been holding, glances around the stage, realizing that she's the last crewmember still on the stage. She scowls, and runs off, just as Tamahome, Miaka, Yui, and Nyan-Nyan take their places behind very tall rosebushes. Beyond the black curtain, she can hear the ending of the interlude. "Alright, you guys. We're ready."

As the interlude ends, the black curtains smoothly open to reveal the garden scene. Teki has preset all the blue lights to create a night setting, with a single white light set out to be moonlight. The fountain's water sparkles beautifully in the garden, and the bushes, marble benches, and small trees are placed to create a soothing, eye-pleasing design. Miaka and Tamahome emerge from behind one of the taller rosebushes, continuing their waltz from the previous scene, oblivious to everything around them.

So they don't see Yui and Nyan-Nyan, who have obviously followed them from the ballroom, trail behind them. Miaka and Tamahome stop dancing, gaze into each other's eyes, and walk off to the stage left wings. Yui approaches the downstage area, looking off to where the two lovebirds exited. She crosses her arms, and gives Nyan-Nyan a disappointed look.

**_'Why would a fellow want a girl like her_**

****

**_A frail and fluffy beauty?_**

****

**_Why can't a fellow ever once prefer_**

****

**_A solid girl like me?'_**

Nyan-Nyan rolls her eyes, sitting on one of the benches.

**_'She's a frothy little bubble_**

****

**_With a flimsy kinda of charm_**

****

**_And with very little trouble_**

****

**_I could break her little arm!'_** She laughs, and joins Yui upstage.

**_"Oh why would a fellow want a girl like her?_**

****

**_A girl who's merely lovely?_**

****

**_Why can't a fellow every once prefer_**

****

**_A usual girl like me?"_**

"You know," Sake interrupts over the headset, "this is the very thing feminists fight for. Guys are only attracted to the pretty, perfect girls." Nashie rolls her eyes, and Mitsukake clears his throat.

"Neither Yui nor a grown Nyan-Nyan are ugly, Sake-chan," Nashie reminds her friend.

"But it's still annoying. I'm going to have to agree with the stepsisters in this song."

"You're an odd, odd girl, Sake-chan."

"That's what makes me so wonderful!"

"…"

Back on stage, Yui and Nyan-Nyan have retreated into the shadows of the fountain as Miaka and Tamahome emerge back on stage. The two finish their song, but end up falling backwards into the fountain, splashing water all over the place. The audience erupts in laughter as the two break out into arguing, neither of them realizing that neither Tamahome nor Miaka even noticed their presence. The girls glare at each other before crossing their arms and turning their backs to one another.

Nashie sighs. "Yippie, a scene change right back to the palace. Chiriko…the water pump, please."

-à-à-

Out in the audience, a young woman nudges her friend next to her. "That was a short scene, huh?" Her friend nods, thoughtfully chewing on a Sour Patch kid.

"You know, Neko-ane hasn't returned to her seat yet."

"I noticed. Maybe she really had to go to the bathroom."

"For a half hour?"

"Point taken." The girl holds out her hand. "Sour Patch, please."

-à-à-

Backstage, Neko-ane sneezes.

The next palace scene is already beginning as Hotohori and Nuriko begin dancing with Miaka and Tamahome, respectively. Nashie hands Yui and Nyan-Nyan towels as they enter the stage left wings. Both of them are soaking wet, but thanks to a spell from Chichiri, neither of them are leaving the floor wet. Nashie gives them both grins. "Have fun swimming?" Yui smiles slightly, drying out her hair.

"Anything to destroy this terrible dress you put me in."

"I'm hurt, Yui. I thought you like the dress." The blonde gives her an incredulous look before walking back to the dressing room areas. Nyan-Nyan simple giggles and disappears in a poof of smoke, leaving the crewmembers to cough in the pink smoke left behind. "I hate it when she does that." Nashie glances out onto the stage and crosses her arms in an annoyed fashion. "After this, it's back to the garden scene, and then back to the palace again." She winces. "I really hate these short scenes. They work so well in the movies, but when you try to put it on stage, then it sucks."

Tasuki grins. "All I know is that I'm in the next scene."

"I agree. That is about all you know."

Tasuki scowls.

-à-à-

Yui enters into her dressing room, still drying off the back of her dress. Unlike some of the other's rooms, hers is functionally bare and organized. She had been stricken by a wave of dizziness whenever she walked into Tasuki's or Miaka's or Tamahome's dressing rooms. Clothes would literally be thrown everywhere, along with bags and other accessories that Yui had to wonder about sometimes. Most of her stuff was placed in the closet (when she had tried to reason with Tamahome the use of the closet, he had given her the blankest stare she had ever received).

So it didn't take her long to realize that _something_ was out of the ordinary in her room. Yui glances over at the vanity, and immediately spots it. It was a small, azure-coloured envelope, with a white wax seal. She blinks and picks it up, flipping to over. Her name is the only marking on it, and even then, she couldn't decipher the handwriting.

_A fan_? She plugs in her handheld hairdryer, and turns it on, frowning at the envelope. _Well, curiosity killed the cat_. She runs the hairdryer through her short, pale locks a few times, and then sighs. _And is about to kill this girl too._ She turns off the loud, yet small contraption, setting it gently on her vanity before picking up the envelope.

"Well, let's see what a fanboy has to say," the young woman murmurs aloud, removing the wax seal and opening the envelope. Inside lays a simple, undecorated card. She pulls it out, and opens it slowly, hoping that nothing dire would come springing out and choking her to death.

But there is nothing that drastic inside. She stares at the message inside, blinks, and then frowns.

**There is information you might want to be aware of. Tell Miaka to call this number immediately.**

Yui stares at the number. _A joke? Probably not. Oh, dear. This night is getting stranger and stranger by the minute. And how did someone get into my dressing room in the first place?_ She sighs, placing the card back in the envelope. _Remember to give this to Miaka – soon!_ She pats her dress, and remembering that she has no pockets, bites her bottom lip.

Sighing, she finally slips it into the corset part of her dress, and hopes it won't fall out before she gets a chance to see her best friend.

-à-à-

On stage, the scene has reverted back to the garden. The blue light plays nicely against the white gossamer of Miaka's gown and the golden satin of Tasuki's shirt and wings. The two stand close to the stage left wings, with Miaka standing in front of Tasuki, pleading with him to let her go home.

Tasuki crosses his arms. "So you're just givin' up? Just like that?" Miaka hesitates, but she looks close to tears. She sits down on one of the benches, and her shoulders slump slightly as she looks up at her faerie "godmother".

"I'm not what they think I am." Tasuki smirks at her, resting a hand on one of her shoulders.

"All they're thinkin' is that you're the prettiest girl here. And it's not like they're lyin' or anything." It looks as if he's about to say more, but they are interrupted as Tamahome emerges from stage right. Tasuki's spotlight disappears and he slips offstage as Tamahome calls out to Miaka. The girl turns back to where Tasuki had been standing, and blinks when she realizes he's not there anymore. Tamahome comes to sit by her, a pleading look on his face.

"Please," he says quietly. "I don't know what my parents said to you, but I apologize." Miaka looks slightly surprised.

"No, no. They were wonderful…compared to my family." She looks slightly downcast, but Tamahome doesn't seem to notice it. He assures he that he wants to meet her family, earning him an alarmed look from Miaka. Tamahome chuckles after Miaka shoots down his request to meet her family a second time, and gives her a small smile.

Backstage, Nashie is scowling, and tapping her foot impatiently. "I _hate_ this song. It slows down the entire musical!" Tasuki rolls his eyes and he and Mitsukake share a look. Neko-ane is currently amusing herself with a few card tricks, glancing up every so often to wait for a more climatic scene to appear on stage. She would have been a lot happier if she were on stage right where Chichiri was, but unfortunately, Nashie prohibited crossing the stage unless all hell was about to break loose. For just a small instant, Neko-ane really wished it would break loose.

At that moment, Yui returns from her dressing room, dried and looking a tad bit annoyed. Nashie winks at her. "Feeling better?" Yui crosses her arms, and nods.

"But I found a note in my room. Someone wants to talk to Miaka." Nashie hesitates at the idea of an anonymous person leaving a note in Yui's room. Yui notices the look on her face. "I don't know. It was a blue envelope and it had a white seal on it. I didn't recognize the handwriting, though." She hesitates. "I think we should let Miaka call. I don't know what will happen if someone else calls." Nashie winces.

"Like having our stage go boom?" She groans, smacking her forehead. "I bet all the great composers and directors in the world didn't have to go through this mess to survive opening night! I mean, what else can go wrong?"

"Are you trying to jinx us?" MoonshadowJedi demands, and Nashie notices her waving frantically on stage right. "Didn't you say something like that at the beginning of the play, and then all this stuff happened? High school musicals were never this tough."

"If you're not counting that one time I dropped a flat on somebody," Nashie grumbles. For a second, there's silence over the connection. Then, almost everyone on the headsets bursts into laughter. Nashie flushes as she realizes what she just said. "Oh, shut up." She can see MoonshadowJedi grin at her from the opposite side of the stage. "It was an accident."

MoonshadowJedi snickers. "Right. We know. That's why it's so funny."

"You all suck."

"We still love you, Supreme Director!" Sake teases. Teki agrees, but both of them cannot contain their laughter. Nashie grumbles darkly under her breath, and looks up towards the rigging. _Someone_ really just wanted her to lose her grip on reality before the night was over, didn't they? Was this some sort of cruel cosmic joke? Because she wasn't laughing.

Tasuki rapps her on the head as Tamahome and Miaka begin singing their duet on stage. "And I thought Miaka was bad." Nashie groans and buries her face in her hands.

"Not you too. And stop hitting me on the head."

Tasuki pauses in his attacks, and then he grins. "Under one condition."

"What condition? Ow!"

"I can flame-boil this bastard who's causin' all this shit to happen as soon as the musical's over." Nashie winces as another knock on the head sends her reeling. She nods frantically to stop him, and once he does, she hits him upside the head with her Big Stuffed Fish.

"Don't do that again!"

Tasuki rubs his head in pain. "That hurt like hell…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Nashie crosses her arms. "Don't do it again." She glances out on stage. "I hate this song. I really hate this song. And we have a scene change coming up."

"Chichiri already knows," MoonshadowJedi responds over the headset, glancing at the monk, who is watching Miaka and Tamahome passively. "He says that he wants to get paid for all his services here tonight – acting and staging." Nashie growls something under her breath.

"He wants to get paid, huh?" she grumbles. "Send him over here, and he'll get paid." MoonshadowJedi blinks and relays the message to Chichiri. Nashie watches in amusement as he looks a little bit surprised at her response, telling MoonshadowJedi something she can only faintly here over the connection. MoonshadowJedi smirks, and giggles slightly, adjusting her videocamera, which has taken in more interesting clips tonight than should have existed.

"He says he's not interesting in that kind of payment."

"What?" Nashie nearly shrieks, staring at Chichiri in stunned disbelief. "Oh, that's it. All of us have been spending _way_ too much time around Tasuki." She whirls around to face the bandit, sticking an accusing finger in his face. "You're having a bad influence on everyone in stage crew!" Tasuki grins.

"Yeah. So?"

"Argh!"

Back on stage, Miaka and Tamahome are very close to a kiss as they sing the last verse to the song.

**_"Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream_**

****

**_Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?"_**

They kiss each other softly and passionately as a romantic sigh can be heard from nearly all the fangirls in the audience. Someone makes a gagging noise up in the balcony, but is quickly shushed by other people in the balcony with him. Just as the two pull apart from their kiss, deep chiming can be heard in the background. Miaka's eyes light up in stunned horror, and she pulls away from Tamahome.

"I can't stay!" she exclaims, and runs off to the stage left wings. Tamahome, surprised, runs after her. The orchestra strikes up into a hasty version of "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?" as the curtains quickly close. The audience murmurs quietly among themselves, but just a few moments later, the curtains open again to reveal the palace scene. Miaka rushes through the crowd, towards the staircase. The dancers look at each other in confusion as Tamahome follows. Hotohori and Nuriko, alerted by the consternation in the crowd, also hurry towards the staircase.

"Wait!" Tamahome calls as Miaka flees up the stairs, following her off backstage. "Come back! I don't even know your name!" The dancers take this cue to leave the stage. The lights on stage left and right darken and only the blue lights in stage center remain on, to create the outside entrance to the palace. Miaka runs from the entrance and down the stairs, her beautiful dress disappearing into her rags as she descends. She stops for a moment, stunned, before looking behind her and running off towards an unlit section of the downstage area.

Tamahome emerges a few moments later, and looks around, but finds that Miaka is nowhere to be seen. He descends a few steps, a look of sadness sweeping over her face.

**_'Do I want you because you're wonderful?'_**

A spotlight lights up on Miaka, who also appears saddened.

**_'Or are you wonderful_**

****

**_Because I want you?'_**

The two look off into the distance, not taking in each other's presence on stage.

**_"Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream_**

****

**_Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?"_**

The spotlight disappears from Miaka's form, and Tamahome turns to go back into the palace. He suddenly stops however, and scoops down to pick up…a glass slipper. He holds it up to the light, looks out into the audience once more, and, holding the slipper, returns to the palace. The orchestra crescendos to a coda of Tamahome and Miaka's duet before the lights dim to a blackout, and the curtains close.

Backstage, Nashie lets out a sigh of relief. "One more act to go. Please, let us survive it."

-à-à-


	15. 5B: When Bad Things Happen to Monks

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie

-à--à----

CHAPTER 5B: WHEN BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO MONKS

The stage is currently devoid of any cast members, and the worklights cast a dim, yellowed glow onto the crewmembers that are assembled on the set of the stepfamily's house. The director is sprawled on the couch, and doesn't look like she'll be moving any time soon, despite the ten-minute intermission. Teki is currently reviewing in her binder the presets for the last act of show, with Miku pointing out some different notes, wordlessly. Mitsukake discusses the last few scene changes with Chichiri, Sake, and Bob, while Chiriko helps MoonshadowJedi put out the props for the scene. And C-Guy…

"¡Habla espanol!"

"Go away."

"¡Por favor!"

"Go away!"

"Estas estupida."

"Sake-chan, I'm going to kill him. Swear to God, I will kill him!" The director shoots up from her comfortable position, and thwacks C-Guys across the head. The latino blinks, and then looks at Sake for more permission to speak in Spanish. Nashie shoots Sake a look that tells her that if she even thinks about letting this abuse continue, she'll be fired faster than she could say, "Uh-oh." Sake winces.

Chichiri comes and sits down on the arm of the couch. "Look on the bright side, Nashie. Nothing bad happened during the second act, na no da. Maybe she's decided to give us a break." Nashie sighs, waving a hand at him.

"You know as well as I do that that's not the case. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was saving up all her energy just to ruin the ending." She glances at her watch. "And she only has another half hour anyway." She glances at the other crewmembers, who have all stopped their various activities to give their attention to the hassled director. "The big finale. This is whenever can go wrong will go wrong. And then I'm going to get sued. Yup, I know it. Me and my measly five dollars are going to be gone. And then what will I do? I won't be able to buy food, not even those twenty-five cent granola bars they sell at Walgreens. All because of a stupid mystery person and a stupid letter and a stupid Matrix couple who just can't let things be mysterious…"

Chichiri holds up his hand to cut into Nashie's rant. "Maybe you should take a moment to rest, Nashie. You're getting too stressed about this." He smiles soothingly. "After all, we've told you again and again – you have the Suzaku seishi on your side. I honestly doubt that something is going to be bad enough to take us out."

"You might get sued, but we can't help that."

"…"

"That probably didn't help, Sake…"

Mitsukake rises to his feet, as Tama crawls out from the hood of his sweatshirt. "Nashie, just don't panic. We'll be fine." Nashie frowns, gritting her teeth nervously. She doesn't look all too calmed by that statement. In fact, she seems to get even more tensed by this factor. But rather than continuing to mutter about it, she takes a very deep breath and gets to her feet.

"Okay, then. We can do this. Less than a half hour left. We're good, we're good." She glances at the assembled crew. "Okay, stage right, make sure that everyone is in their places and in their costumes for the last few scenes. Sake-chan, the sound has been going great – keep up the great work. Lights are also great, Teki-chan." She nods, and takes another deep breath. "We'll be fine, as long as we don't run into any really big glitches."

At that point, MoonshadowJedi and Chiriko join the group, the college student grinning happily as she settles herself down on the flamboyantly-colored couch. "Props are ready. We've been doing pretty well, you know." She holds up a glass slipper and gently tosses it up into the air. "After this, we're in smooth waters." She begins humming the theme to the _Love Boat_ to herself as Nashie tosses a pillow at her. The brunette grins. "'The Loooove Boat…'" She pauses. "I don't remember what comes after that…" She frowns, then suddenly grins, and begins tapping out the beat to _Hawaii Five-O_. Nashie scowls.

"Must you keep doing that?"

"Da plane! Da plane!"

"Was that even in that series?"

"Probably not…"

The other members of the crew share looks, but no one says a single word as Nashie and MoonshadowJedi enter into an argument about where the infamous quote came from. No one notices Miaka approach them from behind, except for Teki, who gives the priestess a suffering look. Miaka giggles before clearing her throat. Everyone turns their attention towards her, except for the director and the prop manager. Miaka decides to ignore the two. "Does anyone have a cell phone I could use?" She holds up a piece of paper. "Yui gave this to me, and I guess someone wants me to call them…"

Sake reaches into her pocket, and pulls out a small flip-phone. "You can use mine. Just don't talk too long – I'm trying to keep low on minutes this month." She hands it to the leading lady who flashes a grateful smile before wandering off towards the shadows of the wings. She hears MoonshadowJedi and Nashie continuing to argue behind her, and she wonders when the two will ever just agree on a truce.

_Besides, I thought Nashie didn't even like those seventies shows_, Miaka thinks as she looks around. She is far enough back in the wings that nobody out on the stage would be able to hear her conversation. It could very well be a prank call, and be totally embarrassing. Her fingers fly over the keypad, and then she holds the tiny silver phone up to her ear.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Miaka's face crumples in disappointment, and she is about to cancel the call when she hears a very audible click on the other line. "Hello?"

"Oh! Um, hello…? This is Miaka…I was told to call this number?"

"So you got the message from your friend. That's good." There is a pause, long enough for Miaka to wonder if the person was still on the other line.

"Hello?"

"Yeah, I'm still here. I was wondering if you'd like some answers to what has been going on tonight. In fact, there may be a way for you to even stop anything else from happening." Miaka's green eyes light up, and she almost can't make a decent reply. The person on the other line plunges on. "There was only so far I was willing to take this. I just need to know the truth – I think this has gone a little far."

Miaka's mind races, and she blinks rapidly to catch up with her train of thought. It must be the figure! "Yes! I'll meet with you! But it's going to have to be after the first scene, or Nashie will have my hide. Just give me a meeting place."

"The front entrance. Outside."

"But it's coooold!"

"I don't want to risk anyone seeing us. You'll have to exit from the backstage doors. I'll see in a few." Without any warning, the mysterious person hangs up the phone. Miaka pulls the cellphone away from her ear, and stared at it angrily. She hated it when people did that…but still, someone was giving her a way to the save the show, and all of Nashie's hard work. She frowns, tapping the phone against her wrist.

Well, it was better than most offers that had been made that night.

She walks determinedly out towards the stage, where a handful of the crew is still relaxing. Teki and Miku had already gone back up to the light loft, and Bob was probably checking the rigging. She hands the phone back to Sake with a smile. "Thanks." The crewmembers share looks that obviously says that they were expecting more. Miaka offers an apologetic smile. "It was just a…um, fan. Yeah, a fan. Just wanted to say I was doing a great job. That was the information." Nashie lets out a disappointed mutter.

"Dang, I thought we almost had this thing solved."

"Let it go, Nashie. C'mon. Breathe in…breathe out."

"It's not working." Nashie rises to her feet, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "Well, might as well get this show on the road. We have three minutes before the curtains open back up. And I'd be willing to bet that our mysterious figure is not one to be kept waiting." She begins shooing the crewmembers off the set, while Miaka grabs a nearby broom and makes hersefl comfortable on the couch. Nashie shoots her a look. "Yeah, enjoy the couch while you can." Miaka grins.

"I will."

Chichiri gives her a nod of approval. "Break a leg, Miaka, na no da."

"That's even worse than saying 'good-'"

Nashie shoots her a look. "Don't you dare say it."

"Oops. Sorry." Chichiri shakes his head in amusement as Nashie grumpily stomps off towards stage left. He gives a confused Miaka a brief shrug of his shoulder before wandering over to stage right, glancing around at the set. Only a handful of scenes left, and then they'd be out of this nightmare. He frowns. Somehow, he had a feeling Nashie would still want to do more musicals and plays once Cinderella was over and done with. He makes a face as he passes MoonshadowJedi.

"I'm going to see if there are any stray actors in the make-up room and kick them out, no da" he says with small smile. MoonshadowJedi nods, and begins fussing over her camera. "You know, you could probably sell bootlegs of those, and make millions, no da." MoonshadowJedi gives him a playful look.

"And have Nashie murder me so that they don't find my body? No thank you, Chichiri."

"It was just a thought," the monk says with a chuckle before heading back towards the make-up room. It is oddly quiet in the wings, probably thanks to the somber mood of the usually cheerful director. In fact, all the energy from earlier in the evening seems to have drained away, and Chichiri frowns at the thought. Maybe that was the sole purpose of the figure – but what was her clear spite against the director? Okay, so she spoke without thinking many times, and was a bit of a pushover other times, and could be completely unemotional at the very wrong moments, and she did have a tendency to panic over little things…

"Thinking hard, or hardly thinking, Chichiri?" Chichiri stops dead in his tracks. The figure has suddenly shimmered out of nowhere, and is standing right in the middle of his path. Despite the shadows, he can see the slightly condescending smile appear on her face. "Are you worried about your director? Let me assure you, you have nothing to worry about." Chichiri frowns, yet he makes no move to go into a defensive stance. Instead, he stares impassively at the figure.

"I have reason to believe otherwise." The woman scowls.

"Don't act so high and mighty with me. You want to know about the letter too, don't you?"

"I don't think casting magical spells on people will make me know any faster, na no da."

"But you agree with me. You've been playing a very good part, Chichiri. A very good part. Don't let me down now."

Chichiri frowns at her. "I'm only doing this because I see the logic of what you're doing. However…" He crosses his arms. "I don't think the end justifies the means, no da. Making her angry will only increase her defenses. There's only so much I can do to keep her calm, and think that most of the danger is over."

The woman chuckles. "Well, we might just have to take away some of those defenses."

Chichiri is about to reply to that when he hears the sound of someone behind him. He turns slightly, and sees Sake staring at him in disbelief. He sighs as he glances at the figure. "And how long has she been standing there?"

"Around the time that it became obvious that you know something you shouldn't."

Sake stares at the two in complete shock. _I can't believe this – Chichiri? Of all people…?_ "Chichiri…?"

The monk gives her a slightly sad smile. "I'm sorry, Sake, but you can't tell Nashie about this just yet. Some things still have to run their course."

"You-!"

Chichiri waves his hand, and his kasa appears from thin air. Without any warning, he tosses it towards Sake. The girl doesn't even have time to register what this means before the hat lands on her head, and completely encases her body, until Sake is gone. Chichiri sighs, walking over to pick up the kasa from the ground. The moment he touches it, it disappears back to where it came from. He glances over his shoulder. "I hope you know what you're doing, no da."

"You've trusted me this far. Why turn back now?"

"…what are you planning next?" The woman smiles.

"Well, that's where the bad news comes in…"

-à--à----

The curtains open to revived audience, to reveal the stepfamily's living room. Miaka is currently sweeping up around the couch, a bittersweet look on her face, quietly humming the strands of 'Do I Love You Because You're Wonderful?' She twirls the broom around as if it were Tamahome, obviously in a dream world of her own. The lightning is soft and dark, and it almost seems as if it any moment, she will be risked back to a few hours before when she was beautiful, dancing in Tamahome's arms.

But the spell is broken as the door slams open, emitting Subaru, Yui, and Nyan-Nyan, all of them looking positively exhausted. But the moment they see Miaka, their faces like up in fake pleasure. Subaru glides over to the couch, before gracefully collapsing into it, tossing her feathered hairpiece onto the table in front of her. "Oh, what a night! What a magnificent affair!" Yui and Nyan-Nyan chirp in with their agreements as Miaka smiles slightly.

"Did any of you get to dance with the prince?" she asks, picking up the boas and the scarves and the hairpieces the girls drop onto the floor. The three women share looks before Yui nods prissily.

"I danced about an hour with him."

"An hour?" Nyan-Nyan glares at her "sister". The blonde young woman gives Nyan-Nyan a pointed look.

"Didn't you?" Nyan-Nyan blinks.

"Well, of course I did…if you did." Subaru smiles at both of the girls, playing the part of the proud mother to a tee.

"I wouldn't be surprised if the Prince chose one of you as his bride!" Miaka smiles as she places all the fancy gaudy clothing into a chest behind the couch. The irony of the situation can be seen in the humour that glitters in her eyes. She walks from behind the couch to begin sweeping again.

"That sounds too good to be true. Did you know everyone at the ball?"

"Everyone who's anyone!" Subaru exclaimed, though her face clouded over suddenly. "Except some princess something or other…I never did quite catch her name…" Miaka turns her head away slightly, smiling at her own personal joke.

"A princess? Did she dance with the prince?"

"I didn't notice."

In the stage left wings, Nashie is currently playing a game of blackjack with Tasuki, Neko-ane, and Mitsukake. She grins cheerfully as she holds up her hands. "A queen of hearts, an ace, and a jack of spades. Eat my dust, you guys." A round of groans rises up from around her as the other lays down their cards. Neko-ane and Mitsukake went over the limit, and Tasuki only had a sum of eighteen. Nashie cheers quietly before grabbing up the deck and shuffling again.

"Sounds like you're having fun, Nashie," Teki teases over the headset.

"I always have fun when I'm winning."

"I think you're cheatin'."

"No one asked you Gen-chan. And don't blame me because you suck at blackjack."

She shuffles the deck one last time before dealing out the cards. Neko-ane picks up her cards and begins counting on her fingers, a look of concentration on her face. Mitsukake, of course, has the perfect poker face, the only clue what his cards might be could be told from Tama-neko's meowing. Tasuki, however, was an open book. He scowles at his hand, and then glares at Nashie. "Hit me." Nashie hands him a card, and he looks at it in anger. "Shit. Hit me again."

"You'd be terrible at poker, Gen-chan."

"Ha ha ha…shit! Hit me again."

"Five card bust, Gen-chan."

"Just do it!" Nashie shrugs, and hands Tasuki his last card. The flaming-haired bandit took one look his card, another look at this hand, and then scowled darkly. "I hate this game. I don't think you shuffle right."

"Let's see those cards everyone!"

Neko-ane displays her cards in front of her. "Nineteen." Mitsukake lays his cards down in front of him – twenty. Nashie glances over at Tasuki, who is grumbling darkly under his breath.

"Well?" Tasuki throws his cards down on the ground, and the other three players glance at the fallen cards and begin counting. After a moment, Nashie bursts into laughter. "An ace, a two, a three, a four, and a five? Wow, talk about bad luck. In poker, that wouldn't be too shabby – a flush like that."

"I don't think that's a flush, Nashie," MoonshadowJedi pipes up. "When was the last time you played poker?"

"Never. But it's sort of like cribbage, right?"

"…not really."

Back on stage, Miaka has stopped in her dancing with Yui and Nyan-Nyan to gaze somewhere out in the audience, her green eyes glistening with nostalgia. "And for a few precious moments, you're the only two people in the entire world…" The chiming noise comes from the bit as the piano begins to accompany Miaka with the last song of the evening that is not a reprise.

**_'A lovely night, a lovely night_**

****

**_A finer night you know you'll never see_**

****

**_You meet your prince, a charming prince_**

****

**_As charming as a prince could ever be'_**

She turns to begin dancing with Yui again.

**_'The stars in a hazy heaven tremble above you_**

****

**_While he is whispering, 'Darling I love you'_**

****

**_You say goodbye, away you fly_**

****

**_But on your lips you keep a kiss_**

****

**_All your life you'll dream of this_**

****

**_Lovely, lovely night'_**

Yui breaks away from Miaka and begins dancing with Subaru and Nyan-Nyan, as Miaka quietly hums the harmony of the song, her eyes closed as she twirls around with the broomstick. The two girls sing their own version of the song, which is slightly less romantic and more fun. Subaru also begins singing, as the four, for just that one moment, they forget their tense relationship and relive the glamorous night in their minds.

Miaka twirls Subaru before skipping up the stairs to the balcony area. She blows a kiss down to her two stepsisters before elegantly descending the stairs, waving behind her. **_'You say good-bye, away you fly'_**

The two stepsisters run to the bottom of the staircase. **_"But on your lips you keep a kiss"_**

Subaru closes her eyes. **_'All your life you'll dream of this'_**

**_"Lovely, lovely, lovely_**

****

**_Lovely night!"_**

As the stepsisters and Miaka sing the last part together, Subaru's eyes snap open as Miaka curtsies low to the ground. A look of fury spreads across her face as she realizes what just happened and she stands up quickly. "Stop this! Worst nonsense I've ever seen! Rubbish and dribble!" Yui and Nyan-Nyan share looks and immediately begin protesting. Subaru shoots them both dagger looks. "And you! Hanging on to her every word!" The two begin to complain again, but Subaru holds up her hand to stop them. "Enough! Go to your room – it's late."

The two "sisters" share looks before storming up the stairs and through the door in the balcony. Subaru sweeps past Miaka, ascending a few stairs before turning to glare down at her. "And the thought of you dancing with the prince! It's preposterous!" A look of hurt seeps into Miaka's eyes as Subaru turns her back to her.

"Why?" Miaka calls behind her, her voice sounding as if it were at the brink of tears. "Why is it so hard for you to imagine?" Subaru slowly turns, a dark look on her face.

"Because you're common, Cinderella," she whisperes, her voice dripping with loathing. "Your mother was common, and so are you. Oh, you can wash your face and put on a clean dress, but underneath you'll still be common. That a prince would even consider you as his bride…" She laughs. Miaka bites her lip.

"My father…" Subaru's eyes turn cold at the mention of her late husband.

"Your father was weak. He spoiled you rotten. He filled your head with silly thoughts and dreams that will never come true." She turns and marches up the stairs, turning only before she enters into the door. "Now clean up this place. It's a sty." With that, she exits, leaving behind an obviously heartbroken Miaka. She looks around the living room, a lost look on her face. The lights dim to a contemplative mix of blue and white as Miaka approaches the lip of the stage. She sinks to her knees and clasps her hands to her heart.

"Father…I know I promised I'd never leave here. But after tonight…I don't see how I can stay. If only you knew how much she's changed, you'd understand. I deserve better, Father. I deserve to be loved. And that's what I found out tonight. And that's that really matters…" Her voice trails off.

**_'My dream came true, away I flew_**

****

**_But on my lips he left a kiss_**

****

**_All my life I'll dream of this_**

****

**_Lovely, lovely night'_**

"Cinderella…" Miaka's head pops up, and she turns to see a shadowed figure walk towards her. A golden spotlight slowly lights up the figure – it's Tasuki. He gives her a small smile. "If you really love him, why don't you let him know?" Miaka shakes her head.

"How can I? Look at me…" Tasuki snorts, but the edge in the sound is softened by the amused shake his head.

"Do you really think we fell in love with your fancy gown and your pretty curls?"

Miaka gives a helpless shrug. "I don't know anymore. If you hadn't helped me…" Tasuki walks over to her and kneels down.

"You didn't need my help, okay? You just thought you did. Believe in yourself, Cinderella, and trust him to love you as you really are." Miaka looks up at Tasuki, who gives her friendly chuck to the shoulder. Miaka lets out a sigh, but a small smile begins to appears on her face. The lights dim to a blackout, and the curtains swing close.

Backstage, Tasuki stomps back to the wings, ignoring Miaka's poking and prodding. "What was that 'believe in yourself' shit? I said you should have taken my tessen and flamed those bastards." Subaru, who is waiting for the two off in the wings, gives him a look, and Tasuki flushes. "Not like that. I mean, y'know…don't let people push your around. Damn it! You know what I'm sayin'!" Subaru laughs lightly, shaking her head in amusement.

Nashie is about to open her mouth to start teasing him when a panicked voice catches her attention over the headset. "Huh? Slow down, MoonshadowJedi, you're talking too fast. I can't understand you." The others look at her, as her gaze turns inward, but slow worry starts to build in them as a look of disbelief, fear, and frustration washes over Nashie's face. "What? Please tell me you're joking…you're not joking? Oh, damn…oh, damn it all!" Another inward gaze and then her face fell. "Wait….C-Guy? Wait, I can't understand you…I can't understand you! MoonshadowJedi, can you translate?" She paused. "Uh-huh…uh-huh…oh, no…not her too…"

Tasuki turns to Mitsukake, who was slightly changing the volumes of his headset. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not sure…I think I accidentally turned this off…"

Nashie turns towards the gathered crew and cast, her eyes round in defeat. "We have some bad news." Tasuki winces. Anything that started off like that was liable to end up in disaster. "Sake-chan is missing."

"What?"

"And so is Chichiri."

-à--à----

Author's Note: (4-12-05) Oh, I'm just skipping what I said before. Subchapters WILL get author's notes. They're too tempting.

And I'm really, really, really, really, really, REALLY sorry. I know I promised this thing would be updated weeks ago. But we just finished my last musical in high school, and I got a job, and I'm working on an art portfolio for college – I just didn't have time to write anything. (Either that, or I was too busy surfing the net for Rent stuff and time just flew by). What's more, I have to get ready to leave for work in a few hours, but I guess that doesn't really matter since the time you guys will get this, it will be the weekend (that's something else too – my dad has said buh-bye to internet time during the weekdays, so there will be no updates from Nashie until then).

I'm so happy I finally say my butt down and finished this subchapter. I guess it's partly do to the fact that I snapped out of my FY-less funk, and got back to work on my fanfiction. Oi. It's been a hard few months. I can't believe it's been a year and a half since I started writing Cinderella. But I AM determined to get Pirates and Moulin Rouge done over the summer.

And I found it really difficult to write in present-tense for this chapter. Hmm…maybe it's just me.

And before anyone murders me about the new twist involving Chichiri – well, if you kill me, I won't be able to finish the story. There's one subchapter left to finish this chapter. I'm also cutting out a chapter since a majority of what was in that one and this one is going to be covered in the next subchapter and the finale chapter. So bear with me.

Once again, thanks, and I PROMISE to update within a month. I'm on a roll again.

See you in Chapter 5C – "Secrets, Threats, and Letters"!


	16. NEW! 5C: Secrets, Threats, and Letters

CINDERELLA: A Fushigi Yugi Parody

The rambunctious cast of Fushigi Yugi decides to perform the most beloved of Rodger and Hammerstein's plays. However, much to the chagrin of the director, not everything goes according to the script.

Written by Nashie (who does not own Fushigi Yugi, by the way)

-à--à----

CHAPTER 5C: SECRETS, THREATS, AND LETTERS

Out in the audience, the crowd shifts restlessly, many paging through their programs to see if there is another scheduled intermission they had missed earlier. Sitting near the rear of the theatre, two girls are currently drawing hearts around the headshot of a certain blue-haired monk. One of the girls is chewing on what appears to be twenty Sour Patch kids.

"My hearts look better than yours…"

"Whatever. She's still not back yet."

"Maybe she got lost."

"I think we need to go find her. After all, we came in together. And she's the one with money for dinner afterwards." The other girl frowns. "And you're going to get cavaties if you eat any more of those, Polynesia…you're already hyper as it is…"

Polynesia blinks, and pops a green Sour Patch kid into her mouth. "Uh-huh…I'm just really excited to see Chichiri and the others…I think they're super cute…" Her companion sighs, flipping through the programe again. Only three scenes left, still there was yet another intermission. After the mess that had occurred during the first act, she wondered why in the world the director hadn't cancelled early. Not that Otaku-no-miko wanted the production to end early.

She picks up her pen again, and begins drawing swirls around Chichiri's picture. "I wonder if they're going to do another musical after this…"

She is interrupted by a beeping noise from the floor. She blinks and glances down at the ground, frowning at Polynesia's backpack, where the sound seems to be coming from. She pokes her friend and then points down at the girl's backpack. "Please don't tell that's what I think it is." Polynesia startles to attention, glancing at Otaku-no-miko and then at the floor, quickly grabbing her bag up. She slides the zipper open, and pulls out a fantastic-looking device, that has so many wires and various gadgets attached to it, it looks like it is the result of a kitchen explosion. Also, a little red light is blinking on the top, or what Otaku-no-miko assumed was the top.

Polynesia blushes bright red as curious and annoyed stares are flashed their way. "Um…sorry?"

"I can't believe you brought that!"

"I couldn't just leave it at home!"

"Do you know how silly that thing looks?"

"But it's for a good cause…" Polynesia then proceeds to pull from her bag a pair of sunglasses that may have once been normal but have since been taken over by wire and scraps of aluminum foil. "My Chichiri-detector has never once told a lie!" Otaku-no-miko buries her face in her hands as her friend scrambles to her feet, throwing her bag of Sour Patch kids into her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder. "This means he's in close proximity! Come on! Let's go!"

"But-!"

"No time for thinking! We have to find Chichiri!"

"But-!" Otaku-no-miko's words are cut off as Polynesia grabs the girl's arm and drags her from her seat and towards the exit, ignoring the incredulous stares she is getting. Otaku-no-miko lets out a defeated groan and presses her hand against her head.

Neko-ane still wasn't there.

-à--à----

Backstage, nothing short of sheer chaos has erupted. Nashie is currently panicking, and everyone else who knows what's good for them has decided to stay as very far away from her as possible. MoonshadowJedi believes that Nashie can't tirade indefinitely, and suspects that once the girl is out of breath, she'll be reasonable to talk to.

"I don't believe this! Stealing one of my actors who is also my special effects director! And my sound manager! I can't believe the nerve of that jerk! I swear, if it weren't for that letter…I am going to tear her from limb to limb after I find her. And when we'll see who has the last laugh! I can't believe she kidnapped Chichiri and Sake! Who know where they are? They could be in Tahiti or Alaska or Bora-Bora or Switzerland and no one would know because the one person with magical powers has gone and been kidnapped! All because of a stupid letter! I can't believe any of this is happening! How in the world could she do this to me? Doesn't she know I don't have any money? I can't believe she's risking all this because of some stupid blackmail! I'm going to tear her apart! I swear it! And then I'm going to burn her! And then I'm going to chop her up! And then I'm going to-"

"Um…Nashie…?" Miaka ventures.

"What?" The priestess winces at the tone of the director's voice, but she doesn't back down.

"I have to go the bathroom. I'll be right back, I promise."

"And have you get kidnapped too? I don't think so!" Tasuki scowls at Nashie, who continues her tirade right where she left off. He grabs her arm to stop her pacing, and whirls her around to face him.

"Listen. Rantin' about it ain't gonna get us nowhere. Miaka'll be fine. It's not like we can continue on without Chichiri anyway." Nashie's eyes narrow, but Tasuki doesn't allow her to retort. "You're supposed to be the director. You need to start actin' the part. If you fall apart, the musical falls apart with or without that figure's help. So, the way I see it, it's your choice."

Nashie frowns at the bandit. "Fine, Miaka. Go. But be back here soon. I don't want to add you to our list of missing people." Miaka's face lights up, and she runs off towards the wings. Nashie gives Tamahome a look. "If she's not back in five minutes, you're going to look for for." Tamahome sighs and nods, running a hand through his dark hair.

"Well, until we figure this out, what do we do now?"

"_You_ don't do anything. _I_ go out into the audience and shake this figure down until I get some answers. Then I'll take care of the Matrix couple. Then we continue with the musical. Then we go home. That's what we do." Tamahome gives Mitsukake a look, and the tall doctor nods in understanding. The rest of the gathered cast and crew share dubious looks before separating to their respective sides of the stage, hoping, maybe, that the problem will be solved quickly enough.

Meanwhile, Miaka bursts from the backstage doors and into the chilly winter air. She shivers, wrapping her arms around her middle, before running towards the front of the building. The sounds of late traffic drift from the street, and the orange streetlights beam down on her form as she hurriedly runs towards the front of the building and up the stairs towards the front entrance. She glances around in consternation for a few moments – there is no one there.

"Oh, great!" she exclaims with a puff of air, fuming. "What a liar!"

"I'm not a liar…" a voice reprimands her from behind, and Miaka squeals, spinning around to see someone sitting in a dark corner of the landing, where the streetlights and moonlight could not touch him or her. "You must be cold, if you didn't even grab a coat before you ran out here." Miaka sticks out her tongue, hopping from one foot to the next, trying to keep warm. The rag dress was woefully inadequate at keeping her toasty.

"Why did you want me out here? Are you gonna kidnap me like you did with Chichiri and Sake?" Miaka demands, pointing an accusing finger at the person. The figure laughs quietly, sending shivers up Miaka's spine.

"I didn't kidnap them. I'm here for an entirely different reason." With that, the person stood up and walked out of the shadows towards Miaka. She frowns, as he (yes, definitely 'he') comes into the light – tall, very tall, and slimly built, with the most amazing pair of blue eyes she had ever seen. She stares at him nervously as she takes in all his black clothing, and the pair of sunglasses tucked into the collar of his shirt.

"You're-!"

"I wanted to talk to you in private. The girl I came…she wanted to find out more than I did. But I already knew." He shrugs. "It was easy to pinpoint since the others knew your director loves Shakespeare so much. She should never have left that bag of quotes out in the open." He approaches Miaka and hands her a small folded red piece of paper. "You might want to know what this is all about." Miaka gave him a long look before reaching to take the paper from his hands. She unfolded it and read its contents, her eyes growing bigger and bigger by the second.

"You mean, _this_ is the infamous note?" Miaka exclaims, looking up at the tall young man. He nods, a bit of a smirk on his face as he stuffs his hands into his pockts. "This is…big."

"You'll need to tell her. And tell her it's not important anymore." He frowns, as if trying to decide how to put his words. "Tell her Robin has made amends. She should understand that, I think." Miaka gapes at the young man, and then down at the small, insignificant letter in her hands. The source of all their problems. And here she had it. And a chance to make things right.

"Is there a catch?"

"No catch."

"How can I trust you?"

"We both want the same thing – to destroy this letter. Why would I stop you?"

"Good point," Miaka murmurs, tucking the piece of paper into one of the pockets of her apron. "Okay. You have a deal. I'll tell Nashie, but you have to leave now." The young man chuckles.

"Fine. Never did much like musicals anyway…" Without another word, he walks past her and back into the lobby. Miaka stares at him as he leaves before realizing that she never asked for his name. She pulls out the piece of paper, and looks for a name to be scrawled on it. But it seems as if he had already taken care of that – permanent marker had already been scratched over where she supposed his name had been. She blinks unsteadily before a grin slides onto her face.

Maybe things were looking up after all.

-à--à----

The girl looks up as her partner comes back towards their seats, picking his nun chuck up from the floor. Her dark eyes narrow as he gestures for her to follow him. "Where are we going?"

"We're leaving."

"Why? I'm sure that the trail ended here."

"I don't think the trail even needed to be created. We can go now."

The girl frowns at him, but then sighs. "But it was so fun playing the part…"

"I think they have enough trouble on their hands without us messing them up even more. Besides, it was harmless, and pointless."

"I guess…" She laughs. "Wait until I tell the others at school. They're going to flip. That's one mystery that'll have her tied in knots for awhile." Her companion nods with a smile of his own, wrapping an arm around her waist. Together, the couple heads towards the exit and leave the theatre for good.

-à--à----

_Monks_, Sake thinks, _are not always the best people to trust_.

She sits on a chair in the dark, her arms tied behind her back. The only light she sees is coming from the space under the door, and it wasn't enough light for her to see exactly where she was. And it is starting to piss her off. She rocks the chair back and forth, but, as before, she can't find anything to knock the chair against. She wants to scream her lungs out, but had realized earlier that her voice was gone. Pictures of a cheerfully grinning monk dance through her head.

_I though Chichiri was a good guy, and here he is, siding with the enemy! When Nashie finds out, she's going to bite his head off. If I don't get there first!_ Sake tries sliding the chair across the floor to the door, and scowls when she finds that wherever she is, the chair is tied to something only brings her within three feet of the door. If she slides down in her chair far enough, she just barely touches the door with her toes. She wishes she had headset to call for help, but Chichiri had been smart enough to take that away from her too.

_I'm going to give him hell when I get back. I swear it._

She is so busy ranting in her mind, she almost doesn't notice the muffled thump of someone else landing in the room. But the someone managed to kick her chair, and she startles, spinning the chair around to the best of her ability to attempt to see a face. No luck. She wonders if some other unfortunate castmember had been magically teleported into the room with her. At least that way, no one would think she was crazy once she hopefully got out of-

"I can't believe she did that, no da."

Sake's eyes fly open, and she furiously spins her chair around to where Chichiri might possibly be sprawled on the floor. Deciding that he can't see her angered glare in the darkness, she settles for a quick kick in his arm. The monk lets out an 'oomph' of surprise, and Sake hears him quickly sit up and back away from her chair. She squints in the darkness, trying to look as imposing as possible.

"Sake-chan? Is that you?"

Silence.

"Oh, right. The spell, na no da." Sake hears him mutter something incomprehensible below his breath before feeling a sharp tingle in her throat. She coughs in surprise. "That should fix it, no da."

"I'm going to-!"

"Not now, Sake-chan. We're in big trouble, no da."

"Maybe you should have thought about that before turning all Benedict Arnold on us!"

"Who's Benedict Arnold?"

"Argh! That's beyond the point!" Sake squirms against her restraints. "Nashie's going to kill you when she finds out that you've been helping ruin her musical. She worked really hard for it! And she trusted you! And you go and do something like this!" Chichiri lets out a frustrated sigh.

"It's not how it looks, no da. Believe me when I say that."

"Why should I? You've lied to us all night, and you haven't done a thing to stop that figure from totally demolishing our musical!" While Sake is ranting, Chichiri gets to his feet and crosses behind her to untie the ropes. She continues, either from not seeing what Chichiri is doing or just too riled up to care. A few moments later, her wrists are free and she swings them in front of her, leaping off the chair. "I'm going to save Nashie the work and hurt you myself."

Chichiri frowns. "I suppose you don't even want to hear what I have to say in defense of my actions, na no da?"

"Not really."

Chichiri walks over to the door, and touches the doorknob, only to have a brief flash of light throw him off. He winces. "I knew she would try to keep us in here." He turns to Sake. "You need to be told the truth, no da. About why I'm helping her. Then maybe you'll understand that I didn't do this for my own amusement, na no da."

Sake crosses her arms. "Why should I trust you now?"

"Because if you don't, we can't stop her. And she is certainly intent on bringing this musical crashing down around us, na no da." Sake looks at him as best she can through the darkness, and bites her bottom lip. As much as she wants to distrust Chichiri, a part of her still is urging her to go ahead with him. She hesistates…

…just long enough for there to be a shuffle on the other side of the door.

"I told you that thing doesn't work!"

"It's perfectly usable!"

"It led us to the janitor's closet! Why the heck would he be in the janitor's closet!"

"I don't know…"

"And I bet it's locked too!"

Chichiri and Sake exchange looks before Sake approaches the door and bangs on it. "Hello?" There's silence on the other side of the door. "Hello? Is anyone out there?"

"See! I told you it worked!"

"Except that's a girl talking, genius!"

"Well, it's not like we're not here to help if she's stuck inside."

"How many times do I have to tell you that that piece of junk does not work?"

Sake rolls her eyes and bangs on the door again. "Hello? We need some help here. We can't get this door open, and it's really important that we get out of here!" There's a moment of whispering on the other side of the door, and Sake somehow manages to control her temper. "Listen, whatever you're arguing about, can you argue after you get me and Chichiri out of here?"

Stunned silence on the other side of the door. Then…

"Oh, my god! I knew it work! See, I told you so!"

"Is it my fault that it looked like it doesn't work worth beans?"

"But it did work, so nyah!"

"WOULD YOU TWO PLEASE GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE?"

An embarrassed giggle comes from the other side of the door. "Oh, yeah. Just a second." The doorknob rattles as the person on the other side of the door tries to pull it open. After a moment, the doorknob stops moving. "It won't open!"

"Try turning it, genius."

"Oh, yeah…"

The doorknob rattles once again, and then the door slowly creaks open. Chichiri and Sake both blink as light from the hallway fills the small closet, nearly blinding them. Sake steps out into the hallway and looks around. It looks as if they had been teleported to the very back hallways of the theatre, if the white-washed walls and far-spaced florescent lights mean anything. She blinks in confusion at the two girls standing in front of her. One of them looks like a normal teenager, with a t-shirt, faded jeans, and a baseball cap pulled low over her blonde hair. But the other is holding some sort of weird mechanical device and wearing the oddest pair of sunglasses Sake had ever seen.

The girl with the sunglasses grins maddingly as Chichiri steps from the room. "See! I told you worked." The other blonde winces, and manages an apologetic smile at the other two.

"Sorry. She's just a little excited about seeing you, Chichiri."

"Like you're not excited! You have a crush on him too!"

"Polynesia!"

Sake winces. "Okay…how did you find us? I mean, not even the other members of crew come down here. At least, not during a show." Otaku-no-miko blushes a bit as Polynesia waves her device frantically in the air.

"This! I made it purposely for finding Chichiri! And see how well it worked!"

Chichiri offers her a pleasant smile. "Thank you so much for finding us. I'm not sure we would have made it out in time if you hadn't." Polynesia swoons, and Otaku-no-miko turns an even deeper shade of red. "By the way, what are your names?"

"Oh! I'm Polynesia! Inventor extraordinaire!"

"Um…I'm Otaku-no-miko. Just…just Otaku-no-miko."

Sake gives them a wave and a grin. "Sake, sound queen. Of course, my throne has currently been usurped by C-Guy…" She glances at Chichiri. "We better make a run for the stage or else this show is never going to end." She pauses. "I wonder how many people are going to be asking for a refund when this is over." Chichiri frowns at the thought.

Polynesia and Otaku-no-miko share looks. "Hey, do you think we can see you guys after the show?" asks Polynesia, taking off her sunglasses. "You know, typical stage door pictures, and stuff? Plus, I really want you guys to advertise my Chichiri Locator. It could sell millions!"

Sake and Chichiri sweatdrop, as well as Otaku-no-miko. "We'll see what we can do about that. But we really have to run now. Nashie-chan is bound to kill us if we show up so late. This is the umpteenth intermission we've had so far."

Otaku-no-miko nods. "And we better go to. We should find Neko-ane while we're at it." Sake starts, blinking.

"Neko-ane? She's a friend of yours?" The two blondes nod, and Sake puts her hands on her hips. "Small world after all."

"Yeah. She disappeared during one of the first intermissions. The one after the "Little Corner" song that Miaka sang. We had gone to the bathroom, and by the time we came back – boom! She was gone!" She made it face. "Doesn't help that the people in front of us kept talking doom and gloom throughout the show. The guy left a little before we came looking for you."

Sake's face crumples in confusion. "Doom and gloom?"

"Yeah. They kept talking about something called the Text and getting revenge and all this other mess. Looked straight out of a _Matrix_ RPG." Chichiri and Sake share looks.

"The Matrix couple!" they both exclaim at the same time. Polynesia and Otaku-no-miko blink. Sake shakes her head. "It's a long story. But we've been having trouble with them for awhile." She grins a devilish grin. "I think it's time we took care of them once and for all."

"Before you run off into the horizon," Chichiri interrupts, "we need to find Nashie and warn her, no da. If we don't…"

"The end of the world as we know it will happen. I got it." She grins at their two rescuers. "Well, it won't hurt to have more company backstage. You can fill us in on all you know about this Matrix couple on the way." Polynesia jumps up in down in excited delight at the prospect of spending more time with Chichiri. Otaku-no-miko gives a polite wince.

"Let's go, then."

-à--à----

Nashie looks up into the rafters of the stage, slowly counting to twenty under her breath. She rarely lost her temper (though tonight was beginning to put a nice big dent in that part of personality), yet when she did, hell always managed to break loose. She wondered what gods in heavens were trying to punish her for putting on a musical. She thought about the Four Gods, and glared suspiciously at the dancing chibi-Seiryu that formed in her head. No, that couldn't be it. At least, that better not be it.

She looks down at her broken headset. By some random weird occurance, all of the crew's headsets had stopped working. Just like someone had turned the switch off on all of them. New batteries didn't help. Neither did readjusting some of the wires inside the compact little boxes. She had been ready to throw all the headsets at the wall. But she knew that wouldn't have helped. This strange occurance once again had a magical root.

She was going to kill figure once she got her hands on her.

"Well, look at it this way," Teki says with a small smile, "at least the theatre itself hasn't gone up in smoke yet."

"Are you trying to jinx us, Teki-chan?"

"Just trying to make you feel better."

"It's not working." Nashie rubs her temples. Everything is set up for the palace scene, but it had been fifteen minutes since Sake, Chichiri, and Miaka had disappeared off the face of the planet. "I can't believe I let Miaka wander out to go to the bathroom. Something told me I should have made her stay. Now she's kidnapped too, we're almost forty-five minutes behind schedule, Chichiri and Sake are still nowhere to be found…why do these things always happen to me?"

"Probably because you're such an easy target – not that you're a pushover or anything," Teki quickly corrects herself as Nashie sends a murderous look her way. "Probably because you have interesting reactions to when things go wrong. Sometimes you nitpick over the tiniest of things."

"The day hell freezes over is the day that I let everything just roll off my back."

"Well, you might wanna check the news," a voice pipes up from the stage right wings. "I think I just heard there's been a record-breaking blizzard in the devil's city." Nashie and Teki spin around, only to see Sake, Chichiri, Miaka, and two blondes neither of the stage members recognize walk from the stage right shadows. Following behind them are the rest of the crew and cast members. Sake grins. "Miss me?"

"I'm going to kill you!" Nashie exclaims. "Where in the world have you all been?"

"Long story. And we need to talk to you about something very important." The uncharacteristic seriousness in Sake's eyes causes Nashie to frown. Sake waves her hand quickly. "It concerns everyone."

Miaka nods. "I have something to tell you all too." With that, she reaches into the apron of her costume and pulls out a red slip of paper. Nashie's eyes go round the minute she sees it, and she turns her stupefied expression towards Miaka, who looks a bit cross. "The Text. And all of its contents."

"Where did you get that?" Nashie manages to sputter. Miaka raises an eyebrow, and smiles slightly.

"A nice boy gave it to me. He told me that it's not important anymore, and that Robin will make amends." She scrunches up her nose. "Something to do with Shakespeare." She walks over to Nashie, and holds the note up. "Nashie, you have some explaining to do." All eyes turn towards the director, who looks like a deer caught in the headlights. She glances at Chichiri, and Sake notices the look. She crosses her arms.

"Nashie isn't the only who has some explaining to do. Right, Chichiri?"

Tasuki frowns. "What's going on here?" Miaka gives a small shrug before giving Nashie a nice long look.

"I think she'll tell us."

Nashie looks around nervously as she takes the letter from Miaka's hands. Here it was. After so long, it finally made it back to her hands. She takes a deep nervous breath, and unfolds the piece of paper, reading the words on it that she had written so long ago. The others look at her expectantly, and she murmurs a quick prayer for the condemnation about to come.

She begins to read.

-à--à----

Author's Notes: (07-18-05) So what does the letter have to say? Chapter 6A will reveal all!

I'm no longer saying when I'm updating. Just look for the last few chapters of Cinderella within a few weeks, along with the first chapters for Pirates. And I'm sorry. This story was supposed to be finished nearly a year ago. Pirates was only supposed to take the summer to finish. Why have I been late with updates? Increased work schedule, no internet access, and the fact that my computer is located in the hottest room in the house during the summer and I'm forbidden on it most of the time.

Note, when this story is over, I'm putting all the chapters back into their longer-version. I'll only do this once the plays or musicals are complete.

Bear with me all. We're almost there.


End file.
